Weird and wonderful work colleagues

[Damocles]

Theres a guy at my place who just wont take his hour lunch break, he wont claim overtime for it either and he doesnt claim for any other extra hours. He has been there for 3 years, never got a payrise, never been promoted, but he still does it... im not sure why

I'm the same when I have to work in offices. Lunch breaks fuck with your mental processes and you essentially waste 2 hours instead of 1 as the 30mins before and after you aren't "in the zone" so to speak.

 

[Hamann Pineapple]

Theres a guy at my place who just wont take his hour lunch break, he wont claim overtime for it either and he doesnt claim for any other extra hours. He has been there for 3 years, never got a payrise, never been promoted, but he still does it... im not sure why

I'm the same when I have to work in offices. Lunch breaks fuck with your mental processes and you essentially waste 2 hours instead of 1 as the 30mins before and after you aren't "in the zone" so to speak.

Pfft, I work 15 hours a day for no money and take them lunch I made at home in my shoebox in the middle of the road.

 

[waterloo blue]

I work in a govt. agency in Australia and it's a fucking lunatic asylum.
A bloke refuses to shower and wash his clothes,says he has an allergy and it's a very hot summer here this year,the change room hums an hour after he's gone home.
He pisses in the van he uses and puts little stones in the fuel tank,just so he can get a new vehicle and the mechanics now refuse to service the van due to the stench of urine and BO.
Another bloke got the arse recently for tap dancing on a Mercedes in the middle of Sydney,because it had parked in his parking spot,this was in full view of the public and cc tv.
There's more we recently welcomed a member of staff back after a medical procedure,after treatment for prostate cancer left him unable to get it up,he spent 21 grand on having a pump installed in his scrotum.
Then proceeded to tell everyone about it,and a show and tell in the bogs.
A woman who works at the same place burnt down her house,as her husband slept inside,she'd recently discovered he'd been having an affair.

 

[rickmcfc]

I work in a govt. agency in Australia and it's a fucking lunatic asylum.
A bloke refuses to shower and wash his clothes,says he has an allergy and it's a very hot summer here this year,the change room hums an hour after he's gone home.
He pisses in the van he uses and puts little stones in the fuel tank,just so he can get a new vehicle and the mechanics now refuse to service the van due to the stench of urine and BO.
Another bloke got the arse recently for tap dancing on a Mercedes in the middle of Sydney,because it had parked in his parking spot,this was in full view of the public and cc tv.
There's more we recently welcomed a member of staff back after a medical procedure,after treatment for prostate cancer left him unable to get it up,he spent 21 grand on having a pump installed in his scrotum.
Then proceeded to tell everyone about it,and a show and tell in the bogs.
A woman who works at the same place burnt down her house,as her husband slept inside,she'd recently discovered he'd been having an affair.

Australia sounds really really shit.

 

[dronefromsector7g]

I work in a govt. agency in Australia and it's a fucking lunatic asylum.
A bloke refuses to shower and wash his clothes,says he has an allergy and it's a very hot summer here this year,the change room hums an hour after he's gone home.
He pisses in the van he uses and puts little stones in the fuel tank,just so he can get a new vehicle and the mechanics now refuse to service the van due to the stench of urine and BO.
Another bloke got the arse recently for tap dancing on a Mercedes in the middle of Sydney,because it had parked in his parking spot,this was in full view of the public and cc tv.
There's more we recently welcomed a member of staff back after a medical procedure,after treatment for prostate cancer left him unable to get it up,he spent 21 grand on having a pump installed in his scrotum.
Then proceeded to tell everyone about it,and a show and tell in the bogs.
A woman who works at the same place burnt down her house,as her husband slept inside,she'd recently discovered he'd been having an affair.

Australia sounds really really shit.

Well they are descended from convicts.

 

[scotty123]

I work in a govt. agency in Australia and it's a fucking lunatic asylum.
A bloke refuses to shower and wash his clothes,says he has an allergy and it's a very hot summer here this year,the change room hums an hour after he's gone home.
He pisses in the van he uses and puts little stones in the fuel tank,just so he can get a new vehicle and the mechanics now refuse to service the van due to the stench of urine and BO.
Another bloke got the arse recently for tap dancing on a Mercedes in the middle of Sydney,because it had parked in his parking spot,this was in full view of the public and cc tv.
There's more we recently welcomed a member of staff back after a medical procedure,after treatment for prostate cancer left him unable to get it up,he spent 21 grand on having a pump installed in his scrotum.
Then proceeded to tell everyone about it,and a show and tell in the bogs.
A woman who works at the same place burnt down her house,as her husband slept inside,she'd recently discovered he'd been having an affair.

Australia sounds really really shit.

Its not, the women are sex maniacs

 

[rickmcfc]

I love it when there's a works liar.
The best one was a lad called darren. I'll list some of his gems.
Whilst on a caravan holiday in Wales, he spotted Rod Stewart in the caravan next to his. He invited him in for a few beers.
His next door neighbour was a Concorde pilot who took him to the airport, let him sit in the cockpit and allowed him to put the old girl through her paces over the Derbyshire hills.
In his local golf club, he was being mithered by Ian Woosnam for a round of golf. Darren eventually gave in to his demands, played him and made him look like a novice.
Prince Naseem Hamed popped into his local, got a bit cocky, so darren brought him down to earth with a flying headbutt.
There was a different, spectacular lie every day.

This actually had me in stitches. "His next door neighbour was a Concorde pilot who took him to the airport, let him sit in the cockpit and allowed him to put the old girl through her paces over the Derbyshire hills". I can just picture this in my head!

 

[BulgarianPride]

Theres a guy at my place who just wont take his hour lunch break, he wont claim overtime for it either and he doesnt claim for any other extra hours. He has been there for 3 years, never got a payrise, never been promoted, but he still does it... im not sure why

I'm the same when I have to work in offices. Lunch breaks fuck with your mental processes and you essentially waste 2 hours instead of 1 as the 30mins before and after you aren't "in the zone" so to speak.

I agree but I always eat at my desk. That way the interruption is minimal and i can still continue working.

 

[2sheikhs]

I love it when there's a works liar.
The best one was a lad called darren. I'll list some of his gems.
Whilst on a caravan holiday in Wales, he spotted Rod Stewart in the caravan next to his. He invited him in for a few beers.
His next door neighbour was a Concorde pilot who took him to the airport, let him sit in the cockpit and allowed him to put the old girl through her paces over the Derbyshire hills.
In his local golf club, he was being mithered by Ian Woosnam for a round of golf. Darren eventually gave in to his demands, played him and made him look like a novice.
Prince Naseem Hamed popped into his local, got a bit cocky, so darren brought him down to earth with a flying headbutt.
There was a different, spectacular lie every day.

This actually had me in stitches. "His next door neighbour was a Concorde pilot who took him to the airport, let him sit in the cockpit and allowed him to put the old girl through her paces over the Derbyshire hills". I can just picture this in my head!

Guess what his neighbour actually did for a living?
He was a trolley dolly.
I've just remembered another one.
In his local, a man was complaining that one of the drinkers had brought his staffordshire bull terrier into the pub. He told him that if he didn't take the dog home, he'd bring his cat in and it would kill it. Everyone in the pub laughed so the man told them he'd be back in 5 minutes. He returned to the pub with his pet panther on a lead and the dog shit itself and hid in the corner.

 

[kp789]

I love it when there's a works liar.
The best one was a lad called darren. I'll list some of his gems.
Whilst on a caravan holiday in Wales, he spotted Rod Stewart in the caravan next to his. He invited him in for a few beers.
His next door neighbour was a Concorde pilot who took him to the airport, let him sit in the cockpit and allowed him to put the old girl through her paces over the Derbyshire hills.
In his local golf club, he was being mithered by Ian Woosnam for a round of golf. Darren eventually gave in to his demands, played him and made him look like a novice.
Prince Naseem Hamed popped into his local, got a bit cocky, so darren brought him down to earth with a flying headbutt.
There was a different, spectacular lie every day.

This actually had me in stitches. "His next door neighbour was a Concorde pilot who took him to the airport, let him sit in the cockpit and allowed him to put the old girl through her paces over the Derbyshire hills". I can just picture this in my head!

Guess what his neighbour actually did for a living?
He was a trolley dolly.
I've just remembered another one.
In his local, a man was complaining that one of the drinkers had brought his staffordshire bull terrier into the pub. He told him that if he didn't take the dog home, he'd bring his cat in and it would kill it. Everyone in the pub laughed so the man told them he'd be back in 5 minutes. He returned to the pub with his pet panther on a lead and the dog shit itself and hid in the corner.

Ok, was this man sane?