What’s your worst holiday experience, destination?

Two Gun Bob said:
The next door neighbour bagged a cheap holiday to Spain for 17 days in the early eighties and kept mithering us to join them. We were to travel by luxury coach to a quaint Spanish village called Callella De Pallafrugel (not to be confused with Callella from the Barca run) and we were to stay in a four man family frame tent with pool, clubhouse and entertainment.

The coach driver was like Sid James out of the Carry on films who's only function in life was to get inside the hostesses knickers by mid France. The hostess was flirting like a dirty dog on heat with her tits constantly spilling out over her noodle stained Sun Holiday's crop top.

We were right beside the toilet and the overpowering smell of stale turd and grunting noises from behind that wafer thin panel was horrendous. One old dear was inside the booth for at least half an hour and after she had done her ablution we had to breath through our mouths for at least twenty miles as her shit was that potant.

They said food was readily available but all they served us on our 25 hour journey to Spain was beef and tomato pot noodle.

When we got there we had to line up to get our blankets and mattresses which we had to then physically drag half a mile to the sites boundary like a scene reminiscent of Tenko. The tent was rough as toast and it stunk of piss and damp as it was end of season. It rained heavily that night and although it was weather proof the area around our tent had transformed into a quagmire of mud. I think we had about four days of good weather which raised moral greatly.

The other half said we should never have gone as the neighbour had previous form for penny pinching as she clearly picked the cheapest holiday she could find at end of season by coach and in a tent. The only way she could have got it any cheaper was if we'd traveled to Mons and stayed in a foxhole.

The second week they transferred us all up the road to a nice place called Estarat in a 1 star hotel as we were waterlogged. It was luxury .. proper luxury.
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Just spat me beer out m mate that’s one of the funniest threads ever the Sid James has got me well done that’s me have a laugh that pal.
 
worsleyweb said:
I will go for 5 days in a caravan in Siloth in Cumbria. Horrendous. Just don’t ever go.
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I went for a day out last year when we were in the Lakes. My god I wanted to turn round the minute I got there.

Cairo isn’t a pleasant place and the dodgy belly risk is everywhere.

Benidorm wasn’t great either.
 
A
Nick_1985 said:
Haha what a place. Went in 2007, my girlfriend at the time won a holiday there at work and decided to take me and her parents along. There was me thinking it was going to be 10 days of chilling around the villa pool doing fuck all but her Dad hired a car and decided he wanted to see the entirety of Southern Spain in little over a week. Proper Rag fucker did nowt bit bang on about how shit City were. By day 2 I'd found the resort cocaine dealer and was drinking 2 litre milk cartons full of local firewater. By day 5 nobody was talking to me, my girlfriend had dragged us to Mercia Zoo in 100 degree weather and being full of coke and wine collapsed at the birds of prey show and got took to hospital. By day 7 I was off my face at the Abba tribute night getting sucked off on the cricket pitch by some rich 50 year old woman with my relationship in absolute tatters. It was brilliant.

We got back. I packed my stuff and left. Thanks for the free holiday. For what it's worth I thought it was a great place. Nice little private beach down the cliff. Local drugs were great and the town over is like something out of a 60s Western with 50c beers.
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absolute classic post...
 
Nick_1985 said:
Haha what a place. Went in 2007, my girlfriend at the time won a holiday there at work and decided to take me and her parents along. There was me thinking it was going to be 10 days of chilling around the villa pool doing fuck all but her Dad hired a car and decided he wanted to see the entirety of Southern Spain in little over a week. Proper Rag fucker did nowt bit bang on about how shit City were. By day 2 I'd found the resort cocaine dealer and was drinking 2 litre milk cartons full of local firewater. By day 5 nobody was talking to me, my girlfriend had dragged us to Mercia Zoo in 100 degree weather and being full of coke and wine collapsed at the birds of prey show and got took to hospital. By day 7 I was off my face at the Abba tribute night getting sucked off on the cricket pitch by some rich 50 year old woman with my relationship in absolute tatters. It was brilliant.

We got back. I packed my stuff and left. Thanks for the free holiday. For what it's worth I thought it was a great place. Nice little private beach down the cliff. Local drugs were great and the town over is like something out of a 60s Western with 50c beers.
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Just brilliant
 
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