what is the truth

[Grekos]

I can't vouch for its authenticity; frankly it sounds too ludicrous to be tru but this IS City after all. If it's not true, it's at least quite funny. If it is true however then it makes our negotiating team sound like the Marx Brothers.

Clearly a piss take

 

[johnmc]

yes that is exactly what happened - every single thing that could have gone wrong did

 

[moonies lovechild]

The full inside story of the breakdown in negotiations was just published on BV (not sure where it was taken from, or if it was direct from the source). Anyway, doesn't present City in a very good light at all...

"Fucking Gary Cooke needs sacking. He's made us look like bloody amateurs. Fact is, there was a meeting on Monday afternoon at a well known Milan hotel. This was between the City delegation and Kaka's people. First problem was that City's delegation was late in arriving from the airport because no-one had any Euros to pay the cab fare. They had to drive round and round Milan looking for a cashpoint that would take Visa and this made them half an hour late for the meeting. Next problem was that soon after the meeting started it became apparent that no-one from City spoke Italian and none of Kaka's lot spoke English. City "borrowed" one of the maids from the hotel who spoke Portuguese and she had to act as unofficial translator.

The meeting started well enough with City, Kaka and the maid involved in an open discussion about the Arabs' plans for City including the idea of building a team of galacticos around Kaka. The meeting was prolonged slightly by the fact that the maid had a stutter and was deaf in one ear. Cooke had prepared a number of slides on his laptop to illustrate the plans but regrettably he was unable to show these to Kaka's people because he did not have an electrical adaptor to make the laptop-plug suitable for use on the continent. There was a short adjournment of the meeting while he tried to locate a laptop battery of the type that would fit his own Toshiba but with no luck. Kaka's lot were obviously getting pissed off with waiting around what with the maid taking ages to relay everything and the laptop problems, so Cooke decided to change tack and contact the people back at City in order to ask them to fax across copies of the slides.

That's when the real problems began. When they tried to print off the slides at this end the photocopier kept jamming and when they finally got it going it had run out of toner. One of the back room staff at City was sent out to get some more toner thus adding another layer of delay and then there was some further confusion when it came to faxing the slides over due to a disagreement about whether you need to include a zero before the local area code for Milan when dialing from outside Italy. It ended up with City's lot looking like a real bunch of amateurs and when Kaka's dad started asking about personal terms before Cooke had finished outlining the grand plans an irritated Cooke started to get annoyed and began shouting at the maid to tell the Brazilians to wait until he'd finished his introduction.

As you know these Brazilians are very religious and don't like to see grown men abusing young women so a bit of a scene developed and everyone took five minutes in order to calm down. When the meeting resumed it was without the maid who for obvious reasons had stormed off so when Kaka's dad repeated the question about personal terms Cooke took a while to understand what they were asking. When he realised, it was then that his lack of planning became apparent because he hadn't brought any details of wages etc. so instead of saying that he'd leave that point til later, he tried to blag it, and began to write down a few suggestions on the back of the papers that had been faxed over. Unbelievably however, his pen stopped working and they had to send over for another pen from reception. By the time it came it looked like Kaka's people had pissed off so Cooke in order to cover up the position phoned City and instructed them to rush out a statement that the deal was not right for us and that we would not be pursuiing it any further.

The problem was that Kaka's lot had only in fact gone into the bar for a drink so when they came back into the room to continue the discussions Cooke realising that it was now too late to stop the statement from going out called an end to the negotiations, sad really because it seems the deal could have been saved after all."

That is brilliant. Whoever has that sort of an imagination is wasted and should be writing for The Mirror. In fact I am waiting for The Mirror to pick this up for tomorrows paper.

 

[@BluePhil8]

truth? kaka was a smokescreen for an orgy

 

[Prestwich_Blue]

That is brilliant. Whoever has that sort of an imagination is wasted and should be writing for The Mirror. In fact I am waiting for The Mirror to pick this up for tomorrows paper.

Someone with the wit and intelligence to produce something as funny as that would be completely wasted at the Mirror. But I wouldn't be surprised to see it in there tomorrow.

 

[goat boy]

FMTWF!

Strangely believable though ;)

 

[CBlue]

You may think it's a piss take but it's all true - the maid is my next door neighbours cousin who, coincidentally, also happens to be Trannie's mother (the maid, not my neighbour).