What's your record for getting knockbacks from women in the one night?

[Magicpole]

I went to my mates, workmates 21st Party in a room in a nightclub back when men with moustaches could wander at large without people pointing and staring.

Mid 80's.

Anyway, we heads into town had a couple of pints then decided to go up and check out the spare.

As we turned into the corridor off the room I heard the heart crushing sound of some new romantic shite blaring out the door, I instinctively knew I should leave, but ended up in the room that had more balloons than people. More than double

The guy looked relieved to see us and asked did we bring anyone. As the two of us were right in front of him by ourselves I immediately realised he wasn't exactly observant.

After another hour the numbers had burgeoned to double figures and the guy whose party it was had obviously decided that getting smashed would make the horror of it go away. Even worse, he was standing with us and it was really awkward. I felt sorry for him but even more so for me.

I had to escape, so seeing a couple of women sitting at a table I decided that even though I couldn't make out their faces, standing with portable gallows man was a trap door too far.

Turned out they didn't look too bad so I sat down singled out my favourite and chatted away about how shit the party was. After about 30 minutes she said do you want to dance?

There was about three people on the floor and I'm certain two of them were just returning from doing a piss, but I said yes anyway. I stood up and so did she and she was nearly the same size as she was sitting down.

I'm 6'3" she was marginally taller than a oompaloompa. It was fucking excruciating. The dance passed and I returned to the table with her in a state of awkward embarrassment.

I decided to just drink some more and hope someone started a fight. They didn't and the night wore on and on and then it wore on some more. She actually had a lovely face but she was too small.

She became more and more drunk and amorous but I couldn't get over the height disparity. A few additional dances increased this feeling.

When we were leaving she started to get clingy.

I like you

She said from just above my waist, then broke off to get her jacket. One of those horrendous fake fur numbers that the 80's shall be forever shamed for.

I edged down the stairs trying to make my escape. My mate, who laughed like fuck solidly fir two hours asked me where she was. Or how he put it.

Where's your Burd?

At this we heard a yelp then a thud followed by a bumping sound and she flew by us on her arse down the stairs straight onto the landing making a Krummmph noise as she came to a halt against the wall.

It took me ages to get away from her and what made it worse was that fucking horrendous fake fur jacket made her look like my granny clinging on to me.

Since that day I never ever made a move with women sitting down until I was sure they were taller than 5'4 minimum.

Worst party ever. I have never seen someone at their own party look so utterly broken as that guy that night.

Still, had a kebab and I only wake up screaming every other month these days.

I wonder what she is doing now.

 

[billymumphrey]

When myself and friends were at university in Sheffield we used have one mate who would make a sport out of these things, using it to come up the most ridiculous and /or offensive chat up lines he could come up with, knowing damn well he was very likely to get blown out. Most of the time he got nowhere but it was bloody funny watching him do it. Sometimes though just like getting three numbers on the lottery he dropped lucky and scored a freak who'd then take him home and ruin him.

Had a mate who did the same.

Opening line: "Can I smell your ****?"

If she says yes (never happened in my presence but he swears that it worked two towns over) then you're in like Flynn.

If she says no (which obviously happened, a lot) quick as a flash he'd respond with: "Ahh, it must be your shoes then..." and walked off.

 

[stonerblue]

Never been turned down in 52 years.

 

[Magicpole]

Never been turned down in 52 years.

I suppose it all depends on who you ask.

My mate has been pulling munters all his life, but his success ratio has to be measured against the quality of the market he operates in. They tend to be the, refuse nothing but blows, types.

I'm sure you've pulled a higher level
and good on you but he could claim that type of success too but it's all relative. And most of his are relatives of dragons.

 

[stonerblue]

I suppose it all depends on who you ask.

My mate has been pulling munters all his life, but his success ratio has to be measured against the quality of the market he operates in. They tend to be the, refuse nothing but blows, types.

I'm sure you've pulled a higher level
and good on you but he could claim that type of success too but it's all relative. And most of his are relatives of dragons.

Can't remember ever using a chat-up line. My erudite charm, natural debonnaireishness and some under hand manouevering does the trick.
And, my wifes a stunner and me mistress is very tidy thenk you very much..

 

[Magicpole]

Can't remember ever using a chat-up line. My erudite charm, natural debonnaireishness and some under hand manouevering does the trick.
And, my wifes a stunner and me mistress is very tidy thenk you very much..

A given.

 

[snorky]

Can't remember ever using a chat-up line. My erudite charm, natural debonnaireishness and some under hand manouevering does the trick.
And, my wifes a stunner and me mistress is very tidy thenk you very much..

Having an 12 inch tongue doesn't hurt either.

 

[stonerblue]

Having an 12 inch tongue doesn't hurt either.

Or removable teeth.

 

[Magicpole]

Or removable teeth.

Versatility is an under rated bedroom skill.