Who Is The Hardest Bluemoon Forum Member?

  • Thread starter Thread starter jrb
  • Start date Start date
When I was released from H.M. P. Barlinie Special Unit, my sentence wasnt up, they just thought, fuck it, let him out. As the Govenor told me, I instinctively slashed him. Then that mouthy **** of a prison chaplain piped up about peace and forgiveness and love and mercy, I gouged his eye out and told him god killed more, including babies, the ****, so shut the fuck up. I handed him his eye and told him to pray to Jesus to grow another one. He didn't look convinced, although that might have been the shock and blood pouring and looking at his eye.

Last I heard he still wears a patch. So much for prayer.

I live a quiet life now. No need for violence, and as much as I truly loved it, I had to move on. I have a dog now and a cat. Any of you cunts ever try to hurt them. I'm back in the game. Just saying.

I dont want to be on any list though. The Government still think I'm on B Wing.
 
Magicpole said:
When I was released from H.M. P. Barlinie Special Unit, my sentence wasnt up, they just thought, fuck it, let him out. As the Govenor told me, I instinctively slashed him. Then that mouthy **** of a prison chaplain piped up about peace and forgiveness and love and mercy, I gouged his eye out and told him god killed more, including babies, the ****, so shut the fuck up. I handed him his eye and told him to pray to Jesus to grow another one. He didn't look convinced, although that might have been the shock and blood pouring and looking at his eye.

Last I heard he still wears a patch. So much for prayer.

I live a quiet life now. No need for violence, and as much as I truly loved it, I had to move on. I have a dog now and a cat. Any of you cunts ever try to hurt them. I'm back in the game. Just saying.

I dont want to be on any list though. The Government still think I'm on B Wing.
Click to expand...
Never met a Walter Mitty type who can be classified as hard in my life.lol.
 

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Magicpole said:
When I was released from H.M. P. Barlinie Special Unit, my sentence wasnt up, they just thought, fuck it, let him out. As the Govenor told me, I instinctively slashed him. Then that mouthy **** of a prison chaplain piped up about peace and forgiveness and love and mercy, I gouged his eye out and told him god killed more, including babies, the ****, so shut the fuck up. I handed him his eye and told him to pray to Jesus to grow another one. He didn't look convinced, although that might have been the shock and blood pouring and looking at his eye.

Last I heard he still wears a patch. So much for prayer.

I live a quiet life now. No need for violence, and as much as I truly loved it, I had to move on. I have a dog now and a cat. Any of you cunts ever try to hurt them. I'm back in the game. Just saying.

I dont want to be on any list though. The Government still think I'm on B Wing.
Click to expand...
Must have been horrible in prison... they presumably shaved your luscious locks off...
 
I am the Big Shot
You heard me right the first time
Name of bachelor Johnny Cool
Occupation, Big Shot

Occupation at the moment, just having fun
What a party that was
The drinks were loaded
And so were the dolls

I narrowed my eyes and poured a stiff Manhattan
Then I saw Hotsie, what a dame
A big, bountiful babe in the region of 48-23-38
One hell of a region

She had the hottest lips since Hiroshima
I had to stand back for fear of being burned
"Whiskey wow, wow," I breathed
She was dressed as Biffo The Bear

In that kind of outfit
She could get rolled at night
And I don't mean on a crap table

"It's kind of revealing, isn't it?"
'Revealing? It's positively risque
I like it," she said
"You're a man with a thousand Gs, right?"
"A thousand what?" I quipped
"G-men, girls, guns, guts"
"You're my type"
"Wrong, baby", I slapped her hard
"I'm an L man, strictly liquor, love and laughs

She stared over my shoulder
"Play it cool, Johnny"
"Play it what?" I flipped
"Listen, I fought my way up from tough East Side New York
Lead-filled saps and sub-machine guns, like this"

rat, tat,tat,tat,tat,tat

She said, "Johnny, this is a deadly game
Have a few laughs and go home"
I shuddered, normally I pack a rod in pajamas
I carry nothing but scars from Normandy beach

I said, "Wrong, baby, you can't fool me"
She spat playfully, "I'm ahead of you, Johnny"
I studied the swell of her enormous boobs and said
"Baby, you're so far ahead it's beautiful"

"You, you are, you are eccentric, I like that"
"Electric Cheri, bounce off my rocket, tout comprehend?"
We spoke French fluently, our lips met again and again
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I slobbered
Hotsie said, "You're slobbering all over the seat, kid"

I went home late, very late
What could I say to my wife?
"Darling, I've been beaten up again?"
Let's face it, she's credulous as hell


Now thats hard.
 
jrb said:
I'm soft as shit, but I'll stand my ground.(as if) However, there must be one real hard nut on Bluemoon. Somebody akin to a Ninja, who knows every form of martial arts known to man and can kill a fly in the blink of an eye.

So come on, tell us how hard you are, or tell us about somebody else you know on Bluemoon who's as hard as.........(fill in as appropriate)
Click to expand...
I remember a picture @183sash posted of himself - quite formidable

sash.jpg
 
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