When i was 18 i was going out with this really fit bird. Her parents lived on a farm etc and were loaded. One night we were out at a family function with her side of the family, and i got shit faced. Never been so pissed in all my life. Anyway, i was suppost to be going home but i couldnt even walk, yet alone find my way home. So, i ended up sleeping at her house. The last thing i remember was foreplay followed by putting a condom on. (it turns out later that i went to fuck her and fell asleep in the doggy position before entry) Anyway, some point in the night, i woke up with that god almighty feeling of "i need a shit" and my god do i succeed. Her room was right at the end of the landing, as far away from the bathroom as possible. I made it out of the room and halfway to the toilet door then, bang - she blew!!! I didnt stop nor turn around to take a view of my mess i has made, but the smell was that overpowering i was gagging. I made it to the bathroom and continued shitting. Picture the scene - Sat there on the bog in my birds house who i had only been with for a month. It was the first time i had properly met her parents and then i here noise from the other side of the door. I knew that they knew what i had done, and i had to confront them by finishing off and cleaning up. I walked out of the bathroom with a towel around me as my boxers were, well ruined. Her mother, father and my bird were just stood there in shock and disgust. I was asked to leave the house and i did so. I left my wallet so couldnt get a taxi, and like fuck was i going back to ask for it. So, in the middle of the night i made the 5 mile walk home in borrowed clothes and no bird. I never saw her again, thank fuck!!!
