my mrs did this when our kids were 2 , 4 & 6 , it took 4 years to get to get my head together. i made a decision straight away to stay amicable , and that meant me eating shit and smiling through it , even though inside i was ready to kill. those around me were waiting for me to snap too but i knew this would cost me everything including my beautiful children. even though i was having some very dark thoughts , and pretty much in despair. over the years i had bought rental properties ( before we got together) and built up a good business , i consulted two solicitors , they both said the same , she gets the house , kids , half of any assets & business , i pay any debts /mortgage/bills as she has custody and can't work. (bedsit loomed , unfuckingbelievable)
i cashed all in except the marital home , didn't go to work for 18 months and instead looked after my kids while she was out partying and pissing it up the wall , bought her a gaf she liked , sold it when she was bored with it and bought her one round the corner from me.
we now share custody , it's still amicable (and easier to be so) , i have lost a lot of material things but i now realize that they mean nothing.
my relationship with my kids is nothing less than an unbreakable bond , i look at her now
and although i'll always have feelings for her i know i could never trust her again ( i watch her lie her way through life every fucking day)
HER dad said to me at the beginning of the break up "how much do you think divorce will cost you ?" , i replied what ii thought (in monetary terms) , and he replied "you'll look back in 5 years and think that was cheap if it had have been double. and he was right.
as you state mate , it's not about the money , it;s all about you children and how they are affected , you do what you think is best for them and you , wear your hard hat cos she will throw shit at you along the way , especially when she comes crawling back and you knock her back ( you'll probably rattle her a couple of times along the way , i did , but i thought if everyone else was then i was too)
you'll come out of it at some point and be stronger and feel better for it . it will change you , but stay strong and it will change you for the right reasons , you;ll look back at some point and see her for what she really is , and realize that shes done you a big favour.
keep it together mate , doesn't matter what you do , she thinks she can do what she wants , let her. steer your own ship , go and see your gp , talk to him (stress can fuck you up so fill him in on whats going on so he can keep an eye on you health wise , you might think thats daft but your boys need you , pleaase stay strong and don't bottle it up , things will get better , and although it feels the opposite , you'll come out the other side
and be happy.
good luck blue.
