Latics Fan SJK
Well-Known Member
Come on, let's hear them. There's been some classic threads on here and I don't know whether this has been done but i'd love a good read of some.....
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Your funniest experience ever....?
- Thread starter Latics Fan SJK
- Start date
Used to be engaged to a girl about 10 years ago, anyway, was stayin at her house one saturday night, she'd fallen asleep coz she wasn't too well and i was still wide awake. So i went to have a ciggy leanin out of her bedroom window, after i'd finished i got a little horny for some reason, and decided to knock one out behind the curtain. Only for her dad to pop his head round the door to witness a twitchin curtain and my bare feet stickin out the bottom of it.
gaudinho's stolen car
Well-Known Member
Once 3 of us were standing outside Maine Road, probably about 1998. It was in front of the Main Stand and we were just loitering really, drinking cans of Red Stripe. Anyways, we heard a voice from across the road shouting "I've got them lads, I've got them". It was a bloke who had been sorting out tickets for 3 other lads who were standing near us. As he had made such a commotion everyone turned round to see what was going on, and he had 4 tickets in a fan in his hand, like Jim Bowen when held the winnings up on Bullseye.
As he reached our side of the road he clipped the very end of his loafer on the top of the kerb, causing a falling motion which defines my anecdote. He fell forward for about ten yards, tickets still held aloft, and eventually hit the deck directly in front of his mates face down. One of his mates reached down to help him up and said "Are you OK mate?" His only response was "Get off me".
All 3 of us watched the scenario unfold with baited breath and then couldn't stop laughing for about an hour. Childish but fucking funny.
As he reached our side of the road he clipped the very end of his loafer on the top of the kerb, causing a falling motion which defines my anecdote. He fell forward for about ten yards, tickets still held aloft, and eventually hit the deck directly in front of his mates face down. One of his mates reached down to help him up and said "Are you OK mate?" His only response was "Get off me".
All 3 of us watched the scenario unfold with baited breath and then couldn't stop laughing for about an hour. Childish but fucking funny.
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Anonymous
Guest
group of us in our last year of school, just left the gates and walking down a road next to the big school wall and fence.
my mate goes to kick a stone and his shoe comes off and flies over the wall back into school. the 5/6 of us there literally fell about laughing,
it was a long walk for him to go and get it (we just left him as well).
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another one, 5 of us in a car driving about town having a laugh and my mate goes "ay up lads, bit of fanny walking down here", as a young girl in a skirt is at the top of the road, we carry on driving and he then yelps out " ohhhhhh no!" and puts his head in his hands.
turns out it was his own sister.
both be there moments but to those that were there it's still hilarious.
my mate goes to kick a stone and his shoe comes off and flies over the wall back into school. the 5/6 of us there literally fell about laughing,
it was a long walk for him to go and get it (we just left him as well).
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another one, 5 of us in a car driving about town having a laugh and my mate goes "ay up lads, bit of fanny walking down here", as a young girl in a skirt is at the top of the road, we carry on driving and he then yelps out " ohhhhhh no!" and puts his head in his hands.
turns out it was his own sister.
both be there moments but to those that were there it's still hilarious.
Latics Fan SJK
Well-Known Member
When we was about 13, a group of us proceeded to launch a shed load of eggs at a Bus coming past, not realising it was right near the bus stop. Anyway, the phrase 'You always get one idiot' couldn't be more apt here, as this lad goes a step further and launches a stone (this certainly didnt constitute a brick, but a large stone none the less). The stone smashes into the driver window (without breaking it) and the driver naturally stops at the bus stop.
Anyway, we never thought he would get out...but he did, and boy he was a big ****. We all legged it then through this ginnel and we couldnt believe it when he started to chase us. Now, the lad who threw the stone was a bit of a porker and decided to follow me. I knew this particular street better than him and my route involved jumping over this fence that although wasn't small, I knew I could clear it comfortably.
Well, my porky mate decided to follow suit after seeing me clear it and tried clearing the fence. Now, although I knew I would have less trouble than him at such a thing, I was confident he'd manage it. Nope, when I turned round to see if he was with me or not, I looked on in disbelief that somehow, instead of clearing it, he got his pocket somehow caught on the top of the wooden fence and was hanging upside down (the drop over the fence was a good 6 or 7ft) with his hands waving about and all his money falling out of his pocket onto the path below shouting "help, i'm stuck".
Fucking hell, I honestly couldn't stop laughing and this was for a good couple of minutes until I saw this figure appear from the distance. Low and behold it's the bus driver. At this point I was thinking wtf was going to happen. Anyway, this bus driver saw my porky mate in such a tangle and stood there for a few seconds before spotting a gate nearby. He walked through it, round to my mate, crouched down and took all his change from the floor, slapped him on the face and said to him...
"No chippy for you you little fat bastard".
...beforw walking off.
Jesus christ, I was stunned. One of those had to be there moments but I was genuinely creased. After another few minutes I helped him down and obviously proceeded to tell the other lads the story when we met up.
A moment I will never forget.
Anyway, we never thought he would get out...but he did, and boy he was a big ****. We all legged it then through this ginnel and we couldnt believe it when he started to chase us. Now, the lad who threw the stone was a bit of a porker and decided to follow me. I knew this particular street better than him and my route involved jumping over this fence that although wasn't small, I knew I could clear it comfortably.
Well, my porky mate decided to follow suit after seeing me clear it and tried clearing the fence. Now, although I knew I would have less trouble than him at such a thing, I was confident he'd manage it. Nope, when I turned round to see if he was with me or not, I looked on in disbelief that somehow, instead of clearing it, he got his pocket somehow caught on the top of the wooden fence and was hanging upside down (the drop over the fence was a good 6 or 7ft) with his hands waving about and all his money falling out of his pocket onto the path below shouting "help, i'm stuck".
Fucking hell, I honestly couldn't stop laughing and this was for a good couple of minutes until I saw this figure appear from the distance. Low and behold it's the bus driver. At this point I was thinking wtf was going to happen. Anyway, this bus driver saw my porky mate in such a tangle and stood there for a few seconds before spotting a gate nearby. He walked through it, round to my mate, crouched down and took all his change from the floor, slapped him on the face and said to him...
"No chippy for you you little fat bastard".
...beforw walking off.
Jesus christ, I was stunned. One of those had to be there moments but I was genuinely creased. After another few minutes I helped him down and obviously proceeded to tell the other lads the story when we met up.
A moment I will never forget.
pauldominic
Well-Known Member
A life time of things have stitched me up ...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEltJsIwSvE[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3GqaQkhuYw[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJ5y3A-jgxI[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFgdhZGLJrY[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nMVWAVrVAw[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJCJfY7TIko[/youtube]
that'll do for now :)
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEltJsIwSvE[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3GqaQkhuYw[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJ5y3A-jgxI[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFgdhZGLJrY[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nMVWAVrVAw[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJCJfY7TIko[/youtube]
that'll do for now :)
My brother and two mates were caught leaving school at lunchtime: punishment - detention. The teacher asked for their names, and the three of them quickly thought of some other kids to take the rap.
'Steve Graham' chirps up my brother. 'Dave Jenkinson' said David Papworth, his mate. 'And your name?' said the teacher to the third lad, called Dave Grimley. 'Dave Papworth'.
My brother could hardly contain himself at the expression on Dave Papworth's face, realising what had just happened.
'Steve Graham' chirps up my brother. 'Dave Jenkinson' said David Papworth, his mate. 'And your name?' said the teacher to the third lad, called Dave Grimley. 'Dave Papworth'.
My brother could hardly contain himself at the expression on Dave Papworth's face, realising what had just happened.
Skashion
Well-Known Member
Got a few.
1. Doing the cross-country in school and some tub of lard trips up and rolls down the hill. It was just the fatness and the rolling that got me.
2. Walking home from school and my mate falls down an open manhole and is left with just his head sticking out of the top. It was a full five minutes before anyone recovered enough to help him out.
3. In childhood we built rafts which we built from stolen crates and foam from a factory nearby. They used to throw out the excess, broken bits, old and delapadated stuff and put it into a fenced off area for this farmer to use. We'd nick our take from there, which Mr. Farmer didn't like, he also didn't like us going on the lodge where we 'sailed' our rafts (he claimed to own it, I reckon bullshit). Anyway long story short he'd chase us nearly every week and we'd make off back into the woods to make good our escape. During one chase my friend did a heroic dive through the fence separating the farmer's road from the wood but got the seat of his trackies caught by barbed wire on the fence leaving him stranded with his arse crack showing. I helped him out for obvious reasons but I was pissing my sides all the way to safety.
4. Skashion's turn to be heroic now. We were just having a knock about with a football and my famously large-foreheaded friend (mocked endlessly for his forehead) had gone into the shop at the end of the road. I was about half a pitch length distance away, I said to the lads watch this I'll get forehead when he walks out. Waited for him to come out and smacked it and it beautifully curled straight onto his head and knocked him over. Would never do it again in a million years, I'm shit at football.
5. Possibly the funniest though was my notoriously clumsy friend. Any acts of clumsiness were known as typical [his surname which I won't use as it's not exactly common]. Again having a kick about outside the Church where we'd always meet up, playing Walley and Wembley etc. and we'd been knocking it about for a good hour with no incident when in steps my clumsy friend, one kick, smashes a Church window, rebounds off the curb and smashes another. One kick, two windows, that was typical ... alright. That was possibly the best example though. There was also a similar incident when he lost a brand new ball with his first kick. Fucking hell he had some horrendous luck.
6. Recent one at my expense this time. Just before the 6-1 I went for a piss just outside Old Trafford deciding I couldn't wait and walked into this brush area next to the road opposite the North Stand. Didn't realise what a massive drop there was and ended up on my arse and unable to get up because everywhere I put my hands there was bramble.
1. Doing the cross-country in school and some tub of lard trips up and rolls down the hill. It was just the fatness and the rolling that got me.
2. Walking home from school and my mate falls down an open manhole and is left with just his head sticking out of the top. It was a full five minutes before anyone recovered enough to help him out.
3. In childhood we built rafts which we built from stolen crates and foam from a factory nearby. They used to throw out the excess, broken bits, old and delapadated stuff and put it into a fenced off area for this farmer to use. We'd nick our take from there, which Mr. Farmer didn't like, he also didn't like us going on the lodge where we 'sailed' our rafts (he claimed to own it, I reckon bullshit). Anyway long story short he'd chase us nearly every week and we'd make off back into the woods to make good our escape. During one chase my friend did a heroic dive through the fence separating the farmer's road from the wood but got the seat of his trackies caught by barbed wire on the fence leaving him stranded with his arse crack showing. I helped him out for obvious reasons but I was pissing my sides all the way to safety.
4. Skashion's turn to be heroic now. We were just having a knock about with a football and my famously large-foreheaded friend (mocked endlessly for his forehead) had gone into the shop at the end of the road. I was about half a pitch length distance away, I said to the lads watch this I'll get forehead when he walks out. Waited for him to come out and smacked it and it beautifully curled straight onto his head and knocked him over. Would never do it again in a million years, I'm shit at football.
5. Possibly the funniest though was my notoriously clumsy friend. Any acts of clumsiness were known as typical [his surname which I won't use as it's not exactly common]. Again having a kick about outside the Church where we'd always meet up, playing Walley and Wembley etc. and we'd been knocking it about for a good hour with no incident when in steps my clumsy friend, one kick, smashes a Church window, rebounds off the curb and smashes another. One kick, two windows, that was typical ... alright. That was possibly the best example though. There was also a similar incident when he lost a brand new ball with his first kick. Fucking hell he had some horrendous luck.
6. Recent one at my expense this time. Just before the 6-1 I went for a piss just outside Old Trafford deciding I couldn't wait and walked into this brush area next to the road opposite the North Stand. Didn't realise what a massive drop there was and ended up on my arse and unable to get up because everywhere I put my hands there was bramble.
buckshot
Well-Known Member
I drank for 14 hours straight and ate a beandip sandwich.
pominoz
Well-Known Member
Talk about laarffff...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zue3-wOH_kI[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zue3-wOH_kI[/youtube]