Your funniest experience ever....?

[Blue1973]

Was on holiday with my missus a few years back and had been on the pop all night. She fell asleep in the hotel room that night so i thought i would knock one out. it took ages as i was proper pissed but what i hadnt realised was that i had left the bed side lamp on and whilst furiously masterbating had been producing my own full bedoroom wall shadow show of the whole event and the missus had seen it all. I tried to deny it but she told me she had seen the whole event as a shadow on the wall. I decided to turn the dishonesty thing around and told her that she should have piped up once she saw me doing it but was devious enough to let me carry on. I didnt talk to her for the rest of the holiday

 

[MCFC-2011]

Was on holiday with my missus a few years back and had been on the pop all night. She fell asleep in the hotel room that night so i thought i would knock one out. it took ages as i was proper pissed but what i hadnt realised was that i had left the bed side lamp on and whilst furiously masterbating had been producing my own full bedoroom wall shadow show of the whole event and the missus had seen it all. I tried to deny it but she told me she had seen the whole event as a shadow on the wall. I decided to turn the dishonesty thing around and told her that she should have piped up once she saw me doing it but was devious enough to let me carry on. I didnt talk to her for the rest of the holiday

Quality

 

[brand blue heavies]

Once 3 of us were standing outside Maine Road, probably about 1998. It was in front of the Main Stand and we were just loitering really, drinking cans of Red Stripe. Anyways, we heard a voice from across the road shouting "I've got them lads, I've got them". It was a bloke who had been sorting out tickets for 3 other lads who were standing near us. As he had made such a commotion everyone turned round to see what was going on, and he had 4 tickets in a fan in his hand, like Jim Bowen when held the winnings up on Bullseye.

As he reached our side of the road he clipped the very end of his loafer on the top of the kerb, causing a falling motion which defines my anecdote. He fell forward for about ten yards, tickets still held aloft, and eventually hit the deck directly in front of his mates face down. One of his mates reached down to help him up and said "Are you OK mate?" His only response was "Get off me".

All 3 of us watched the scenario unfold with baited breath and then couldn't stop laughing for about an hour. Childish but fucking funny.

You cant beat a falling flat on your face experience for hilarity!

When i was about 14 i was walking along Reddish Road in south Reddish near the Army cadets place. It was raining so both me and my mate had our Parkers on. He had his zipped right upto form a tube with a Furry rim. He`d also managed to get his hands in both pockets and button them down. Anyway as we walked along he decides to be a bit cocky and walk along this house front wall. He gets about 10 feet before slipping and goes flying through the air landing face down on the pavement. It must of hurt cos both his hands were buttoned in the pockets of his coat so he just hit the deck horizontal. For what felt like an eternity he didn`t move but then just started wriggling face down with muffled sounds coming from underneath the hood. Instead of helping him i just stood there for 10 mins crying with laughter. I `ll never forget it.

 

[BWTAC]

In the local waiting for the mini bus to take us to Notts County and as we are setting off, the landlord slides the door open and throws in a couple of crates of Pils along with the local pisscan and tells us to dump him somewhere.So we get to the ground, park up and tells the pisscan to mind the bus and leave him with some booze. So we get to half time and the players are walking off, when who should come marching out of the players tunnel, but our pisscan, plastic bag by his side with the mouldy meat he used to nick to sell, the bemused look on the players faces was hilarious, a 6ft 4 pisshead marching and saluting, he got to the centre circle and marched back off into the arms of the police.So we go to the nick at the back of the ground after the match to collect him and the police inform us that they have kicked him out, as they had got his name, they phoned up our local nick and asked if they knew him, the look on the coppers face was priceless when he told us that the local nick just laughed and put the phone down on them. Still to this day we don't know how he got in the ground, nevermind the players tunnel.

In Kavos in the early 90's, was in the process of charming the knickers off this fit Yorkshire lass, punching well above my weight. I get her to come back to our skanky apartment, for which at the side is some sort of swamp where the owner used to dump all his animals shit. Walking back, i see a push and go scooter parked and decide to show off and nick it, she gets on the back and we set off, but coming up to the apartment, with the drunken state i was in, i realise there are no brakes and go into a slide that throws the poor girl in the swamp, she comes out covered in shit shouting all sorts to me, for which my mates on the balcony found hilarious, needless to say i went shagless that night. Happy days.