Your perfect derby script.

S S

svennis pennis

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7 Apr 2008
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Well what would it be for Saturday?

Mine would be to see Neville on their team sheet, and a heavily strapped Rooney.

I would then like to see Bellamy tearing chuckle to pieces time and time again, combining with Tevez to complete the humiliation of the rat faced shit bag.

Score wise Im torn between a Carlos hatrick and 5.0, or heading into injury time at 0.0 and Carlos smashing one in to make it 1.0 during a mysterious 6th minute of bacon time.

Following on from my systematic thread yesterday. I would like to see Nige test Rooneys ankle first. Then followed by Zaba a couple of minutes later and then by Vinny.

Also I would love to see Johno tearing Evra and VD itch inside out for 90 minutes.

The scary thing is, the way we are playing a fair bit of that is likely!
 
I'd just like us to go out and be convincing 2-0 winners.
We control the game from start to finish and they create nothing.

Job done.
 
Hmmm, I could go all day with a minute by minute account for this one, but to summarise:

Fletcher contracts gonorrhea in the warmup.

Mike Phelan is found being bent over by Fergie.

NdJ gives Rooney some treatment, Rooney reacts and gets sent off.

Tevez gets three.

SWP scores a pearler that hits both the bar and post, and then does the robot.

Adam Johnson turns Gary Neville inside out so many times that Neville tries to tackle the corner flag.

Neville scores an own goal.

Giggs comes on wearing tights.

Berbatov misses an open goal from a yard.

NdJ sends Nani into the Colin Bell stand.

Win 5-0.
 
I'll go with this guys prediction:

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.redcafe.net/f6/derby-day-17-4-a-292229/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.redcafe.net/f6/derby-day-17-4-a-292229/</a>

"I fucking hate this fixture and this one is too hard to call so I'm going with 6-0 to City"
 
In this order:

Wake up
Do her
Go biking with my mates
Get home
Shower
Match kicks off
5 mins in Ade scores
10 mins in Wio and Rooney go off injured
23 mins in Tevez scores
Half time
47 mins in Taggart clutches his left arm and gets sent to the medical room, but not to be too cruel its just indigestion
56 mins Ade scores again
77 mins Mike Phelan slips and falls on his arse
88 mins Johnson dribbles past a decrepped and tired Neville and scores a wonder goal
92 mins full time
Sales of Andrex soar.
 
Dominating the match but with Tevez scoring the winner from an offside position in the sixth minute of a three minute injury time. Oh, and Rooney gets injured but recovers in time for the world cup.
 
Tevez breaks Neville's leg, gets away with it and goes on to score a hat trick in a 5-0 win. Rooney sent off also.
 
2 min - Tevez scores
5 min - Vidic brings down Johnson in the box. Tevez scores the penalty & Vidic off. Rags bring on defender for midfielder.
12 min - Bellers takes on Chuckle, waltzes past him and scores.
15 min - Same again but Chuckle hacks him down in the box. Red card and Tevez hat-trick. Rags bring on defender.
20 min - Rooney limps off and rags have to bring on final sub.
28 min - Adebayor brought down by Van Der Sar outside area. A third red card and an outfield player has to go in goal. Tevez scores from free kick.
45 min - City go in 7-0 up.
Second half - City add another 10 goals without reply. Baconface carted off in an ambulance.
 
I expect us to win, anyway!

But perfect would be turning them over big style - no sendings off, dodgy decisions, or missing Rooney. My dream would be to expose them as a side living off its former glories and leave Sir Bacon Butty without a succession of complaints about perceived injustices. We are talking 'Total Football' with Carlos at the heart of it, orchestrating the complete humiliation.
 
We win 6-0,that'd be satisfying and it'd make up for the 5-0 drubbing we received in 1994 at OT.

Oh and Tevez gets a hat-trick, Bellamy scores at least one.
 
Prestwich_Blue said:
2 min - Tevez scores
5 min - Vidic brings down Johnson in the box. Tevez scores the penalty & Vidic off. Rags bring on defender for midfielder.
12 min - Bellers takes on Chuckle, waltzes past him and scores.
15 min - Same again but Chuckle hacks him down in the box. Red card and Tevez hat-trick. Rags bring on defender.
20 min - Rooney limps off and rags have to bring on final sub.
28 min - Adebayor brought down by Van Der Sar outside area. A third red card and an outfield player has to go in goal. Tevez scores from free kick.
45 min - City go in 7-0 up.
Second half - City add another 10 goals without reply. Baconface carted off in an ambulance.
Click to expand...

Is this for real ??
I mean baconface would have been sent off before the 4th goal !!
lol
 
De Jong crunches Shrek after 1 minute, 30 seconds later he limps off.

Fergie get's excited when berbaflop should of scored, he tries to side foot it in himself and he slips and falls over, a bottle of whiskey rolls away down the touchline from his top pocket of his coat,

winning 1-0 with 1 minute to go added time, we get a corner, bellers whips it in, chuckle at the near post goes to swipe it away and halfs it into his own net for a rocket of an OG.

full time whistle goes and wio and vidic start scrapping and when fergie goes to shake hands, mancini headbuts fergie when no one is looking and get's away with it.
 
us to win in the 97 min......please
and police keep em in while bluemoon is playing for an hour
 
its gotta be a 6-0 win after what ferguscum said after the september derby "what would you rather win, 4-3 or 6-0"

neville to get sent off
berbatov to miss a penalty
fergie to have a jock stein moment and collapse on the touchline
all goals in the 1st half and when united come out for the 2nd half, instead of booing them, the whole ground just bursts into laughter
city fans kick down the divide at half time and batter the united fans into submission
tevez to get 6 goals so that he can overtake rooneys total at the end of the season
 
Just a fair ref will be nice. If we are beat, we get beaten by the better team and not due a dodgy penalty or free kick.

Mind games (well he thinks they are) will be started by Fergie on Weds, with 3-4 Utd players and probably Beckham making comments in the press. Utd to continue to say Rooney, Evra, Rio, Giggs + 10 others injured when we all know they will be available on Sat.

Ferguson not to speak to the media after the game (he will if they win of course), and its "insert name" fault they didnt win.
 
Hahahahahaha some great responses in here.

Personally I just want to win this game no matter how. And not just to get one over United but to get 3 points on the board... everything else is just extra.
 
my order...

wake up
play my semi final and win 7-0
get a shower
get ready
go to city
watch us win 5-2
have a party.
 
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