Magicpole
Well-Known Member
I was reading the Old Rockers thread and it made me think of people I have met over the years.
My friends and I play music, have a recording studio and it would attract many old guys in to jam.
Most were brilliant, even if they looked like Zelda from the Terrahawks. But some were utter delusional twats.
My pal Andy had this fool proof knack of inviting total head cases.
We needed a drummer to lay down drums for a song. Andy gets in touch with a guy who gave him contact details of this particular bellend.
Anyway, up he turns dressed in a pair of jeans, a pair of cowboy boots, a waist coat with shirt and straggly grey hair flowing out from a hat. He looked older than my old mum.
About an hour in I find an empty half bottle of Bells in the toilet and from then it went downhill. Fucking Bells? I should have thrown the **** out there and then.
He was at best ab average drummer. But he talked as if he taught Buddy Rich everything he knew. We decided he wasn't good enough, and pretended his take would do.
We're sitting having a jam later and my other pal Tam is singing a song.
Oh Covers?
Aye we are jamming.
I never do covers that's not real music.
He then starts to slag Tam. Tam is a guy who I call Banana Hauns. They are like big bunches of bananas and although he looks benign and indeed is a lovely guy. He has the capability that if you were to go too far, that you might start on him then wake up in hospital unable to recognise yourself.
Anyway, this **** started to rhyme off these, greats he had worked with who I challenged him to tell us.
Harry Roberts, bass player with the Small Cocks in the 70's.
Never heard of him
Tiny Green, lead guitar with the Damp Patch
Never heard of him or the band. Did they just play pubs?
On it went, even guys I had heard if I stared blankly at him, never heard of the ****. Oh I remember him though, he was fucking shite. Boring, samey rock riffs. Is he still alive? **** was ancient when I was a boy.
He started to get tetchy. Andy leans over to me and whispers. Can you pap him out? Fuck you I replied. You brought the prick, you deal with him. That's a rule we have.
So of the twenty people he was claiming to be 'greats' I had heard of about three and only acknowledged one, who I slaughtered.
He left looking like a care home resident at their Halloween party.
I have met many of these time warp rockers. Most are cool, if not ridiculous looking, but this **** took the belt.
Andy was banned from inviting people after that one.
Anybody else know old musicians who are trapped in the past and everybody they knew were better than everyone now?
My friends and I play music, have a recording studio and it would attract many old guys in to jam.
Most were brilliant, even if they looked like Zelda from the Terrahawks. But some were utter delusional twats.
My pal Andy had this fool proof knack of inviting total head cases.
We needed a drummer to lay down drums for a song. Andy gets in touch with a guy who gave him contact details of this particular bellend.
Anyway, up he turns dressed in a pair of jeans, a pair of cowboy boots, a waist coat with shirt and straggly grey hair flowing out from a hat. He looked older than my old mum.
About an hour in I find an empty half bottle of Bells in the toilet and from then it went downhill. Fucking Bells? I should have thrown the **** out there and then.
He was at best ab average drummer. But he talked as if he taught Buddy Rich everything he knew. We decided he wasn't good enough, and pretended his take would do.
We're sitting having a jam later and my other pal Tam is singing a song.
Oh Covers?
Aye we are jamming.
I never do covers that's not real music.
He then starts to slag Tam. Tam is a guy who I call Banana Hauns. They are like big bunches of bananas and although he looks benign and indeed is a lovely guy. He has the capability that if you were to go too far, that you might start on him then wake up in hospital unable to recognise yourself.
Anyway, this **** started to rhyme off these, greats he had worked with who I challenged him to tell us.
Harry Roberts, bass player with the Small Cocks in the 70's.
Never heard of him
Tiny Green, lead guitar with the Damp Patch
Never heard of him or the band. Did they just play pubs?
On it went, even guys I had heard if I stared blankly at him, never heard of the ****. Oh I remember him though, he was fucking shite. Boring, samey rock riffs. Is he still alive? **** was ancient when I was a boy.
He started to get tetchy. Andy leans over to me and whispers. Can you pap him out? Fuck you I replied. You brought the prick, you deal with him. That's a rule we have.
So of the twenty people he was claiming to be 'greats' I had heard of about three and only acknowledged one, who I slaughtered.
He left looking like a care home resident at their Halloween party.
I have met many of these time warp rockers. Most are cool, if not ridiculous looking, but this **** took the belt.
Andy was banned from inviting people after that one.
Anybody else know old musicians who are trapped in the past and everybody they knew were better than everyone now?