How many biscuits do you eat per day

I'v been known to eat a whole jumbo pack of Mcvities dark chocolate digestives...and no, i'm not a fat bastard either, Mrs Xiphos gazes on in wonder and says i don't know where you put it all you freak

You do realise she hates every fibre of your being at such times?

Still, that makes it all the more enjoyable if you're a **** at all.

Well played.
 
We can no longer keep Maryland choc chip and hazelnut in the house, as I cannot be trusted after the triple bumper pack affair.

SHAME, SHAME, SHAME
 
I don't have them in the house because I'd probably do a pack a day.

Mother in law has a mint variety in her tin though. Nice, custard creams, ginger nuts, choc digestives, shortbread, jammy dodgers, bourbon creams etc. I look forward to going visiting just for that reason.
 
We can no longer keep Maryland choc chip and hazelnut in the house, as I cannot be trusted after the triple bumper pack affair.

SHAME, SHAME, SHAME

A few years back just after Christmas I was left in alone with a big tin of chocolate Roses, as the wife went shopping.

I was lying in the couch losing the battle with a hangover and it was like feeding buns to an elephant.

She came in early to find the floor covered in wrappers and about ten coffee ones left.

She looked at me with undiluted loathing.

To be fair, I had stopped smoking and was already a fat bastard through replacing fags with anything edible.

Took fucking years to get it off.

Roses cunts.

Oh and we are divorced now.

Every cloud.
 
You do realise she hates every fibre of your being at such times?

Still, that makes it all the more enjoyable if you're a **** at all.

Well played.
She's not behind the door either, she can eat a whole packet of Pink n Whites wafers...don't know if you have them in Scotland....in a day
 

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