Mustard

If you're having mustard you're having mustard for a reason, English it is. Non of your piss weak American or German stuff or poncey french baby sick.
Fucking dead right, your nostrils must flare, your head must feel like it's received an uppercut from Mike Tyson,
your eyes have to water like Swallow falls, and your nose just has to feel as if a member of Easy Company has just
unleashed his flame thrower up it.
Then, and only then, have you tasted proper English Mustard.
 
Found this really nice Polish mustard called Sarepska, like a more colourful tasting French mustard, very nice.
 
The first time I ever had mustard was at my then girlfriends mum and dad's house who had invited me for tea. It was during the summer so it was a salad and buffet style food, so we're all sat round the table and I gets my bread and some bits of food and got the mustard and spread it like margarine on my bread, put some salad and meat on and made a sandwich. Took a huge bite and fuck me I thought the roof of my mouth had melted, my throat and nostrils were on fire and I though please nobody talk to me as I'll probably start crying.
It lasted for about a couple of minutes but Jesus Christ it was horrible.
Didn't stop me liking mustard though as I quite like it on sausage butties.
 

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