premature ejectulation

burning blue soul

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25 Dec 2008
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10,873
Location
sun, sand, sea....thats right, im at rhyl sun ctr
had a bit of an incident with a bouncer the other night, all down i might add, to a little mistaken identity.

however, it brought back memories from my youth of a time in scarborough, when my mates and me were on a jolly boys outing.

all had gone well that evening and we were looking forward to a bit of late night clubbing. we followed the regular protocols and went into the club in two's, a few minutes apart. the knack here is try to get chatting to a couple of girls in the queue, as when you are at the door you try to pass them off as your 'girlfriend' in front of the bouncers.
we knew that this club was the hot place to be and the pressure was on to get in, luckily we all did, and as agreed we kept to our little two's and three's inside for the first drink so as not draw atention to a large group of lads.

unfortunately, one of the lads with us that night had just become a policeman and felt it right to point out (in his drunken stupor) to the barmaid, that the pint she had poured was not a full measure. so she poured another, which again was not up to scratch. this continued for three pints at which point the barmaid signalled the attention of the bouncer.

now, my mate was waiting at the bar ready to draw his warrant card when without a word the bouncer got him and the other lad both in a head-lock and launched them down the stairs and into the street.

the rest of the lads (including me) were stood around trying to blend into the background and giving a silent chuckle when, like fecking ninjas, there were bouncers everywhere picking off each one of us and launching us into the gutters, not escorting, we were thrown out of that place.

13 lads, covered in shit, in pouring rain at one a.m. trying to figure out how the feck that happened.

looking back now, great effort by the bouncers!!!

anybody else been well and truly bounced?!!
 
Yeah I got kicked out of a club a few weeks back due to a mate throwing up in the ladies then deciding to take a shit whilst he was at it, I had to go in and get him and for my sins was kicked out of the club by some 9foot bastard.
 
Twenty years ago, out with me mates, we went to a club in Leicester and split up as there was a few of us. Anyway most of us got in apart from two. They decided to phone the club (from a call box of all things !) and ask them to ask me to come to the entrance so we could, actually I don't really know why tbh. Apparently, the call box had been used to phone in a bomb hoax earlier and the bouncers thought we were involved. As I hit the entrance, I was grabbed by the neck and pushed outside as six cars full of bouncers screamed up the road. I was a thin, lively fucker then so squirmed out of his grip and ran like the wind for about four miles !!

Never went back, shit hole anyway !
 
I think I know this club (sadly) Scarborugh is the arse end of the world I had the misfortune to visit once in 2002 WHAT a total shithole that place is....unfortunately I am returning next week for a work piss up (can't get out of it)

Back on thread I launched a bouncer to the floor outside 5th Chav in 2004 before his mates slapped me, managed to get clear and give it the biggun walking down the road!
 
brooklandsblue2.0 said:
I think I know this club (sadly) Scarborugh is the arse end of the world I had the misfortune to visit once in 2002 WHAT a total shithole that place is....unfortunately I am returning next week for a work piss up (can't get out of it)

Back on thread I launched a bouncer to the floor outside 5th Chav in 2004 before his mates slapped me, managed to get clear and give it the biggun walking down the road!

cant remember what it was called this place, but, if you go upstairs from the front entrance and the bar is directly in front of you, its probably the place, there cant be that many. oh, and if you see a stocky throwback with black greased back hair in a monkey suit, tell him he is a c*nt from me will you. cheers!
 
Couple of years ago, on holiday in spain, got chucked out of a club because I asked this random guy for a light. As I was waiting for him to finish faffing about for his lighter I started chattin to the 2 girls he was with - being freindly nothing else. There must have been something wrong with him because next thing I knew I felt this tap in my ribs. The guy had punched me there for some unknown reason. The punch was so pathetic that I couldnt hit him back. I laughed and shook his hand instead and was about to remark on how he needed to do some weight training or somethin, when suddenly I was being dragged out of the club. It's embarrassing being dragged out like some fuckwit so I told the bouncer that it's fine I'll walk out. Halfway up the stairs for some unknown reason I squared up to him. As soon as I did 5 or 6 other bouncers seemed to come rushing out of the walls. I got chucked into a side room, with about what seemed like 20 fists flying around in front of my face (they were behind me as I half fell into the room). I did a fine job of deflecting and dodgin the shots, If I may say so, and then I ended up on my arse outside. Only got abit of a nose bleed so it wasn't too bad.
 
ElanJo said:
Couple of years ago, on holiday in spain, got chucked out of a club because I asked this random guy for a light. As I was waiting for him to finish faffing about for his lighter I started chattin to the 2 girls he was with - being freindly nothing else. There must have been something wrong with him because next thing I knew I felt this tap in my ribs. The guy had punched me there for some unknown reason. The punch was so pathetic that I couldnt hit him back. I laughed and shook his hand instead and was about to remark on how he needed to do some weight training or somethin, when suddenly I was being dragged out of the club. It's embarrassing being dragged out like some fuckwit so I told the bouncer that it's fine I'll walk out. Halfway up the stairs for some unknown reason I squared up to him. As soon as I did 5 or 6 other bouncers seemed to come rushing out of the walls. I got chucked into a side room, with about what seemed like 20 fists flying around in front of my face (they were behind me as I half fell into the room). I did a fine job of deflecting and dodgin the shots, If I may say so, and then I ended up on my arse outside. Only got abit of a nose bleed so it wasn't too bad.

you dont see that warning much on the outside of fag packets

"cigaretts may cause you to get severely twatted by spanish bouncers" :)
 
we got the coolest ejection in the world trying to get into Escape in the dam. 3 of us (had been in on previous visits so thought ok) stood in Q, got to front, where very cool male + female bouncers nicely asked us if we were members. Said not so lead us into a marquee afait in front of the club, turned left and lead us to a door which they opened and let us through. Could only then take a left - which lead us to the pavement and the back of the Q.
We got the message.

Another more violent failure was getting thrown out of the Valley Lodge in Wilmslow for something or other. A bloke then said follow me and led me through the hotel, downstairs and into the kitchens, Through a door and back in the club.
I got another half hour but got clocked again, and out we went.
No mither I thought, Same again. And I knew my way.
This time the bouncers were waiting for me in the kitchen.
Not so pleasant an exit that time
 

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