Things your missus does that drive you to despair

I was just watching a documentary on the hanging of Ruth Ellis on Yesterday when she came into the room and started whittering on about a neighbours Grandaughter, shut the fuck up woman i wanted to know how history was made
 
No matter how many times i tell her she still cuts butties into triangles.
She blames on it spending her early working life in catering and presentation being important.

How dumb is that. What's the point of having a pretty looking fried egg & spam butty when the thing literally falls apart when you pick it up.
 
that reminds me of my dad he always said if you cut butties in triangle you where catholic no idea why he said that always believed him when I was a kid, catholic or COE cutting in triangles is wrong.
 
Mine has only got really furious with me on one occasion. She was watching Songs of Praise or some such, and I started singing "Feed the Goat" while the congregation was singing Cwm Rhondda" (Bread of Heaven).
She became enraged, and I feared for my very life.
I still don't know what came over her. Weird and unsettling.
 
My girlfriend's just bought a caravan. She's taken it out for the first time today. The preparations and the angst for this first foray have driven me to distraction. I even shelled out over £300 for the best caravan satnav which, of course, she has texted me to say doesn't work.

On the bright side, now she's on the road, she'll annoy you lot rather than me.
 
I was just watching a documentary on the hanging of Ruth Ellis on Yesterday when she came into the room and started whittering on about a neighbours Grandaughter, shut the fuck up woman i wanted to know how history was made

Did you string her up for it ?
 
Wears lingerie to fancy dress parties.

images
 
Mine has only got really furious with me on one occasion. She was watching Songs of Praise or some such, and I started singing "Feed the Goat" while the congregation was singing Cwm Rhondda" (Bread of Heaven).
She became enraged, and I feared for my very life.
I still don't know what came over her. Weird and unsettling.

She was obviously filled with the vengeance of the Holy Spirit.

She's biding her time.
 
Well my wife certainly pushed the limits of our relationship this week.

Her constant issue is that she is something of a control freak - she needs to get herself involved with anything and everything that is going on - even if the subject has nothing to do with her and she cannot add any value. No letter or similar can come to the house without her needing to know its contents. She is also one of those that will always look at things from a glass half empty / worst case scenario POV. I would describe her behaviour as a mixture of :

1. Needing to know the ins and outs of a cats arse (old saying from my upbringing) and

2. Really worries if she has nothing to worry about because she will be thinking that she is missing something.

Anyway, she has no interest in football and only pays fleeting attention do CITY because of my obsession and of course I have made sure that our daughter is fully indoctrinated. Recently, she has started to become interested when we have European aways because she likes the idea of a 'City Break' - so she has come with me on the 'nice' trips.

Last weekend in the grip of her control freak paranoia she asked me where the Napoli match tickets were. I pointed out that there was no reason why she should be bothered, but after being asked a few times I mentioned that they were in my laptop bag - where I always put important things for security as it always travels with me.

So, picture the scene on Monday evening after arriving at the hotel and then finding them to be not in the bag.

When challenged she admitted that she had gone to look at them to make sure that they were there and then checked again before we left for the airport - they turned out to have been left on the side in the kitchen.

I had a friend post them out Tuesday morning special 24hours courier delivery - costing £47 - but come Wednesday afternoon they had still not arrived - sods law Wednesday was the equivalent of a Bank Holiday over there.

I am sure that I will eventuality get over it.
 

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