birds

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Deleted member 13905

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don't you simply love them?

ida and i were out exploring the countryside around our new home this sunny afternoon,
when we came upon a pair of peregrine falcons in the midst of their mating rituals.

they flew so elegantly in courtship, dancing a flamenco right above our heads,
easily finding the currents to glide with the manoeuvrability of angels.

they swoop and stoop with such incredible speed and headlong power,
almost divebombing at times, their shadows on the rockface doubling their menace.
i imagine r. j. mitchell must've studied them at length.

they are both slate grey above, barred with darker grey & white barred underneath.
the male has a heavy black moustache-lobe.
the female has a remarkable buff tinge on her breast.

ida was so much beside herself with joy at the sight that she let me lick her out.
all in all it was a very pleasant afternoon.

birds, don't you just love them.
 
No
Every summer I have a battle when the Housemartins arrive and try to nest above my bedroom window
The little fuckers dropping mud and shitting all over my conservatory

Cunts
 
The Pink Panther said:
No
Every summer I have a battle when the Housemartins arrive and try to nest above my bedroom window
The little fuckers dropping mud and shitting all over my conservatory

Cunts
Click to expand...
if the housemartins nested in my window i would think it was happy hour again.
 
Tuearts right boot said:
I never got that after bringing home a brace of pheasants for christmas, although she did mention something about ' a thrush' or at least it sounded like that.
Click to expand...
to be fair to her,
a pair of dead birds is hardly likely to get her juices flowing.

i've already met the local poacher and he tells me it's easy to catch pheasant...
apparently they love raisins,
so you simply put a few tamazepams inside a few raisins & lay them out in the early evening.
the birds scoff them up, head up to their branches for the night & subsequently fall off beacause they are nutted!
 
calum down said:
to be fair to her,
a pair of dead birds is hardly likely to get her juices flowing.

i've already met the local poacher and he tells me it's easy to catch pheasant...
apparently they love raisins,
so you simply put a few tamazepams inside a few raisins & lay them out in the early evening.
the birds scoff them up, head up to their branches for the night & subsequently fall off beacause they are nutted!
Click to expand...
th
 
calum down said:
to be fair to her,
a pair of dead birds is hardly likely to get her juices flowing.

i've already met the local poacher and he tells me it's easy to catch pheasant...
apparently they love raisins,
so you simply put a few tamazepams inside a few raisins & lay them out in the early evening.
the birds scoff them up, head up to their branches for the night & subsequently fall off beacause they are nutted!
Click to expand...

If you dont want to drug them, a trail of raisins to a cone large enough that when they go for the one in the bottom of the cone, it will go over the beak and cover their eyes. When they are blindfolded, they dont move, so you can just shove them in a bag and be away with them.

Poaching.
 
nothing better than sat at a quiet lake at the break of dawn rods at the ready , kettle gently boiling on the stove, the mist rolling on the water , a quiet stillness in the air, all that can be heard is the song of birds, cherpy cherpy cheep cheep and your mate farting and scratching their bollox and hacking up the tar of 60 woodbines,aaaaaaahhhhh heaven
 
Paul Lake's Left Knee said:
If you dont want to drug them, a trail of raisins to a cone large enough that when they go for the one in the bottom of the cone, it will go over the beak and cover their eyes. When they are blindfolded, they dont move, so you can just shove them in a bag and be away with them.

Poaching.
Click to expand...
High powered air rifle, efficient and fun.
 
Paul Lake's Left Knee said:
If you dont want to drug them, a trail of raisins to a cone large enough that when they go for the one in the bottom of the cone, it will go over the beak and cover their eyes. When they are blindfolded, they dont move, so you can just shove them in a bag and be away with them.

Poaching.
Click to expand...
i shall pass on that idea to the fellow, see if he knows about it.
(he's a city fan, should i stress that the cone be blue?)

he also said, although he insisted it was a little too noisy & likely to attract unwanted attention,
that if you couldn't get any mazzies you could use a fishing rod.
just put the hook in the raisin, lay in wait behind a tree and when the bird bites you reel it in.

i'm not sure how you'd make it die though.

withnail-jake1_3060254b.jpg
 
calum down said:
i shall pass on that idea to the fellow, see if he knows about it.
(he's a city fan, should i stress that the cone be blue?)

he also said, although he insisted it was a little too noisy & likely to attract unwanted attention,
that if you couldn't get any mazzies you could use a fishing rod.
just put the hook in the raisin, lay in wait behind a tree and when the bird bites you reel it in.

i'm not sure how you'd make it die though.

withnail-jake1_3060254b.jpg
Click to expand...

Dont threaten me with a dead eel. I want a Pheasant.
 
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