You miss my point.
May says the Scots cannot have a referendum because they don't know enough details about what they would be voting for. That didn't seem to stop the UK having one.
Well it is right to point out that the areas you listed are part of the negotiations to be had - because that is what your point seemed to be
As you have been clearer then I agree with you and think that May should not base her view the way she has. She should just be clear that the earliest a referendum could be handled would be following the next GE - June 2021 looks a likely slot.
I am sure there would be support across the UK for an Indyref2 following the next GE. The UK has other things on its hands at the moment and it is not unreasonable that attention is being given over the next few years to securing the best outcome for the 60m rather than obsessing about the 5m - as one of the 60m I hold the view that it is 'our turn'.