Emmanuel Kant was a real pissant, who was very rarely stable.
Heidiger, Heidiger was a boozy beggar, who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine, who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya about the raising of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
John Stewart Mill, of his own free will, on half a pint of shandy, was particularly I’ll.
Plato, they say, could stick it away. Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbs was fond of his dram.
And René Descartes was a drunken fart; I think, therefore I am.
Yes Socrates himself is particularly missed. A lovely little thinker, but a bugger, when he’s pissed!