United Thread - 2023/24

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Nearly 500 million spent under Ten Hag alone and they end up with Maguire and Evans on the pitch? Absolutely laughable
But he's bald. And so he should be fit to lace Pep's boot. It is perfectly obvious to anyone with the smallest knowledge of ball that the bastard, hell-spawn Glazers must have made a voodoo doll of ETG and started sticking pins in them to take revenge on their Top Red critics. The Glazers must be driven from Trafford for their wicked witchcraft and lies!!. That bastard family manifested City's Treble into existence out of thin air. Just to take revenge on the Norwich City scarf thieves for protesting against their family's ownership of the club outside Lou Macari's Chip shop one evening. Well employing voodoo is cheating and the Premiership authorities must be notified of this right now !!!! It has gone on long enough and more charges must be brought.. The 277 squillion trillion Rag fans currently occupying this planet are crying themselves to sleep every night, ffs over, lickle City's made up success and all you lot can do is scoff and mock the afflicted. It isn't fair. You are all terrible people. Please admit that City did not win anything at all last season and everyone is lying about it and pretending that City did!!!! And even before last June's debacle, you caused NITED to have to take down their beloved 34 years and counting without winning silverware gloat banner, with your made up stories of glory. You smug Berties and your foul fibs and delusions have destroyed the country. For shame!!!!!

You people are all charlatans, demons or interplanetary lizards. United won the Treble last June, not City. I hate you all! Burn in hell, you hoax spreading bastards!!! I can only think you are all on crack.
 
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So, Lets get this straight...

£80 million Antony is in trouble externally
£75 million Sancho is in trouble internally
£80 million Maguire can't go back to Greece
£0 Greenwood has been sent out on loan with a view of hoping 'it all blows over'
£30 million Bailly is surplus to requirements, but no-one wanted him
£36 million Martial is uninterested
£80 40 million DvB is surplus to requirements, but no-one wanted him
£0 Rashford cannot track back
£0 Evans is getting a last payday
£0 Reguilon is surplus to Tottenham requirements
£0 Mctominay was likely surplus to requirements, but no-one wanted him
£34 million Varane seems to be permamently injured
£60 million Casemiro is 31
£64 million Hojlund arrived with a bad back, that might need game managing
£48 million Martinez is short
£420k Garnacho seems like the perfect fit for United - ego, another Sancho/Martial/Rashford
£55 million Mount seems like most of the country (other than Southgate and United) don't rate
£8.5 million (potentially +£21.4 million) Amrabat was not wanted by Fiorentina
£0 Eriksen is 31
£0 Williams (next new whatever) is on loan

So 20 players that have issues out of a squad of 35 are not playing for them, or have some sort of real or potential issue!
I had to check that the Casemiro one was right. Only 31? Has the energy of a well-used 35 year-old.
 
The floppy haired Rag PR c*nt over at the Daily United is in full flow.

Now is not the time for Olive Holt and the other Rag PR journalists to lose their faith in Manchester United and Ten Hag, or to question Ten Hag, as it gives them access to Manchester United and keeps them in a job.

39868EE1-1B93-48AF-903A-453DAF7A37ED.jpeg
 
So, Lets get this straight...

£80 million Antony is in trouble externally
£75 million Sancho is in trouble internally
£80 million Maguire can't go back to Greece
£0 Greenwood has been sent out on loan with a view of hoping 'it all blows over'
£30 million Bailly is surplus to requirements, but no-one wanted him
£36 million Martial is uninterested
£80 40 million DvB is surplus to requirements, but no-one wanted him
£0 Rashford cannot track back
£0 Evans is getting a last payday
£0 Reguilon is surplus to Tottenham requirements
£0 Mctominay was likely surplus to requirements, but no-one wanted him
£34 million Varane seems to be permamently injured
£60 million Casemiro is 31
£64 million Hojlund arrived with a bad back, that might need game managing
£48 million Martinez is short
£420k Garnacho seems like the perfect fit for United - ego, another Sancho/Martial/Rashford
£55 million Mount seems like most of the country (other than Southgate and United) don't rate
£8.5 million (potentially +£21.4 million) Amrabat was not wanted by Fiorentina
£0 Eriksen is 31
£0 Williams (next new whatever) is on loan

So 20 players that have issues out of a squad of 35 are not playing for them, or have some sort of real or potential issue!

You forgot

£40 million Fernandes who is supposed to be the captain but wants to be subbed off when they were getting dicked 7 nil off Liverpool.
 
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ETG seems under extreme pressure, that rant , live on sky after the Arsenal defeat was glorious , why hasn’t it made the column inches I ask ? If that was Pep , it would be Peps losing it ? The fact he can’t keep his mouth shut after having favourable decisions against Wolves and Forest shows how fucking deluded and out of his depth he is - the geography teacher thinks it should be 12 out of 12. Is it true that Rashford liked Sanchos tweet ? If it is true then the boring Pep wanna be is fucked.
Eric Ten Gaal. I know, they're swapping manager's so often, it get's confusing.
 
They're all nuts but the whiny voiced Alice makes me laugh the most. A spoilt kid brought up on success who now can't handle that shiny toy she cherished is out of date and ready for the bin

Yes, but she has sorted out her teenage spots and is quite a pretty young woman, I bet she will actually be making a decent living off youtube talking about Man Utd. and doing watch-alongs and things. I applaud her for that.
 
So, Lets get this straight...

£80 million Antony is in trouble externally
£75 million Sancho is in trouble internally
£80 million Maguire can't go back to Greece
£0 Greenwood has been sent out on loan with a view of hoping 'it all blows over'
£30 million Bailly is surplus to requirements, but no-one wanted him
£36 million Martial is uninterested
£80 40 million DvB is surplus to requirements, but no-one wanted him
£0 Rashford cannot track back
£0 Evans is getting a last payday
£0 Reguilon is surplus to Tottenham requirements
£0 Mctominay was likely surplus to requirements, but no-one wanted him
£34 million Varane seems to be permamently injured
£60 million Casemiro is 31
£64 million Hojlund arrived with a bad back, that might need game managing
£48 million Martinez is short
£420k Garnacho seems like the perfect fit for United - ego, another Sancho/Martial/Rashford
£55 million Mount seems like most of the country (other than Southgate and United) don't rate
£8.5 million (potentially +£21.4 million) Amrabat was not wanted by Fiorentina
£0 Eriksen is 31
£0 Williams (next new whatever) is on loan

So 20 players that have issues out of a squad of 35 are not playing for them, or have some sort of real or potential issue!
Maybe we need a poll on here for the other REMAINING 15 players, with voting for who will be the next one to be a liar/violent/abuser/financial shenanigans/lazy arse.

Ten Hag’s going to be raiding the U18 squad for players soon.

Could this be the 50 year revival of united relegation? Odds must be shortening per story.
 
Tough day back at work? This'll cheer you up. They get more and more hilarious the further you get into it


Poor Saeed - ''football isnt for me''
And the Flying Pig goes into meltdown......

Also, do fans other than these clowns really still shout ''get in'' when goals are scored, or the even worse ''get in my son''
 
Yes, but she has sorted out her teenage spots and is quite a pretty young woman, I bet she will actually be making a decent living off youtube talking about Man Utd. and doing watch-alongs and things. I applaud her for that.
Couldn’t she do something more entertaining for the general male population, she would make even more money.
 
Just been chatting to a Rag at work, he's fuming and says they are a shambles on and off the pitch (like we didn't already know)

He was saying JFE was a jobs for the boys signing. Apparently JFE's wife is heavily involved with MUTV and happens to be good friends with the current technical directors ( D Fletcher) wife.

Compare Darren Fletchers performance versus Txixi. In the last few months he’s signed his twin boys from City & his wife’s best mate that was considered over the hill 10 years ago…..

Failed to sell the dead wood & bought a sweeper keeper that even I knew wouldn’t work in that team with those players.
 
Couldn’t she do something more entertaining for the general male population, she would make even more money.

Cheeky!

That was my point though - I suppose I am jealous - as a woman the wrong side of 50 - there was no Internet when I was thin! There is a girl pops up on YouTube shorts - American (AltaSweet) every few days she posts a little dance, nothing too rude. I looked on wikipedia, she is worth millions!

I bet Alice is doing well too, and nothing sordid like OnlyFans (although is being a United fan sordid!)?
 
Yes, but she has sorted out her teenage spots and is quite a pretty young woman, I bet she will actually be making a decent living off youtube talking about Man Utd. and doing watch-alongs and things. I applaud her for that.

She's still a spoilt whiny rag. Kudos to those making a living out of social media though, why not it's better than working.
 
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