Make your own United debacle headline story

[JASR]

Following on from the Liverpool echo thread, and in light of the fortnightly debacle news coming out from Trafford, I thought some ‘alleged’ stories might be fun over the internationalzzzzz break:

Glazer approved Remedial works at Old Trafford reveal long forgotten storeroom untouched since the 70’s, contents revealed to be empty boxes for brown envelopes dating back to the 50’s. United, when asked for comment, refused to be drawn into speculation about why they would have so many.

 

[feedmpenzaandhewillscore]

Gary Neville blames the Glazers for refusing to sell for the time it takes to get served in Lou Macari’s chippy.

 

[Blue Mist]

Glazers sign Wagner to run their Media Department.




And youth development.

 

[Protein Junkie]

Following on from the Liverpool echo thread, and in light of the fortnightly debacle news coming out from Trafford, I thought some ‘alleged’ stories might be fun over the internationalzzzzz break:

Glazer approved Remedial works at Old Trafford reveal long forgotten storeroom untouched since the 70’s, contents revealed to be empty boxes for brown envelopes dating back to the 50’s. United, when asked for comment, refused to be drawn into speculation about why they would have so many.

I tried this a few weeks ago and it disappeared.
Maybe because I used the word Rags in the title ?

 

[Blue Mist]

Breaking News

Manchester United are pleased to announce a new shirt sponsor to replace team viewer. A club spokesman, Mike Tyson said 'The club believe our partnership with Relate is the bells and whistles of a deal.'

Sources say the reference to bells relates to the seven regular knocked out of women whilst the whistles are ergh rape ones.

 

[lazerblue]

gary neville says he has proof that schools are falling down due to the glazers failure to act sooner

 

[lazerblue]

gary neville says birmingham council going under is due to lack of investment by the glazer family
GNIAC, never forget, GNIAC

 

[JASR]

United Glazers owners Issue statement attacking suggestions that they have been copying City.
'We have examined in forensic detail Mr Swales's tenure of Manchester City, and we have concluded we can do more, much much more, than he did in driving the club downward forward.'

 

[TonyM]

I tried this a few weeks ago and it disappeared.
Maybe because I used the word Rags in the title ?

:-)

 

[TonyM]

Manchester United change themselves with 116 offences.

 

[BrianW]

Trafford Council decline chance to buy United for 10 billion pounds.

'We have other priorities,' said the Council Leader. 'However, it would have been good to change the team name to reflect the Borough in which it is situated. Sadly, we have to use our Council Taxpayers' money for boring things like filling in potholes instead.'

 

[TinFoilHat]

"Manchester United are pleased to announce a symbiotic partnership with Canestan. A spokesman for the company said; "It's an obvious business partnership thanks to our experience working with irritable Cunts..."

 

[mancboy]

Manchester united win game without aid of referees, world in shock

 

[solley attwell]

Avram Glazer is revealed to be Peter Swales illegitimate child

 

[Asa's left peg]

Manchester United sponsor new centre for domestic abuse suffers, means less checks on new signings.

 

[Blue Til Death]

Steptoe & Son offer advice on the rag trade …!

 

[Gorton_Tubster]

Utd'll Fix It For You

 

[TinFoilHat]

Manchester United announce new sponsorship deal with Stella Cidre.

A club statement reads:

We are proud to announce a Stella Cidre as a new club partner. Stella Cidre is a drink which echos our brand of refinement both on and off the pitch. When our players drink Cidre they beat their wives up after putting a cue ball into a sock rather than use their fists. As Anthony shows us in our new advertising campaign celebrating the collaboration of the brands.

 

[J.G.Blue.]

United have been rocked by allegations the ladies toilets at old trafford are not fit for purpose, A hole was said to have been found in one of the toilet doors, Ex chairman Martin Edwards is understood to have been looking into it.

 

[Grassland Blue]

On hearing news of the Glazers asking price for the rags being almost doubled to £10bn, Sir Jim Ratcliffe said he "didn't want them anyway" and has decided to buy Macclesfield Town instead.
In Sir Jims' opinion Macc have a more realistic chance of Premier League success at a far lower cost.
(Allegedly!)