Make your own United debacle headline story

Trafford Council decline chance to buy United for 10 billion pounds.

'We have other priorities,' said the Council Leader. 'However, it would have been good to change the team name to reflect the Borough in which it is situated. Sadly, we have to use our Council Taxpayers' money for boring things like filling in potholes instead.'
 
Manchester United announce new sponsorship deal with Stella Cidre.

A club statement reads:

We are proud to announce a Stella Cidre as a new club partner. Stella Cidre is a drink which echos our brand of refinement both on and off the pitch. When our players drink Cidre they beat their wives up after putting a cue ball into a sock rather than use their fists. As Anthony shows us in our new advertising campaign celebrating the collaboration of the brands.
 
On hearing news of the Glazers asking price for the rags being almost doubled to £10bn, Sir Jim Ratcliffe said he "didn't want them anyway" and has decided to buy Macclesfield Town instead.
In Sir Jims' opinion Macc have a more realistic chance of Premier League success at a far lower cost.
(Allegedly!)
 
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