Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Capital letters are important. There's a big difference between I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse and I helped my uncle jack off a horse.
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
11:38 - Arrived at crime scene.
11:38 - Examined body. Signs of a struggle.
11:38 - Found murder weapon in drain.
11:38 - Realised watch was broken.
11:38 - Examined body. Signs of a struggle.
11:38 - Found murder weapon in drain.
11:38 - Realised watch was broken.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I visited Amazon Prime to view carry on luggage.
It wasn't the film I expected.
It wasn't the film I expected.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
"I got sent an article on child mortality rates in India. Let me tell you, that wasn't an easy read."
"Because of the terrible poverty and living conditions?"
"No... It was in Sanskrit."
"Because of the terrible poverty and living conditions?"
"No... It was in Sanskrit."
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I told an anecdote in the pub about a bucket on the end of a rope that was used to collect drinking water from under the ground.
It went down well.
It went down well.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
"Do you have pets?"
"Yes, a goldfish"
"Any hobbies?
"Yeah, he loves swimming"
"Yes, a goldfish"
"Any hobbies?
"Yeah, he loves swimming"
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
"I met a girl when I was travelling on the west coast of India."
"Goa?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but yeah, she banged like a rocket."
"Goa?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but yeah, she banged like a rocket."
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
My lad's going to University on a Cuppa Soup making course...
He's doing a Bachelors Degree
He's doing a Bachelors Degree
blue44
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Dave Ewing's Back 'eader
Well-Known Member
Yeah, we're gonna have to come up with another acronym. I suggest POC - prehistoric. Or BDOC - Bovril drinkin'!
Dave Ewing's Back 'eader
Well-Known Member
That has just delivered my loudest laugh of the day!
Electric cars .....the truth as I see it
I'm fed up with comments from people
ridiculing EVs. They don't know what
they're talking about.
Personally, I drive two top of the range
EVs, a Jaguar and a Porsche.
Their acceleration and handling is
fantastic. They look brilliant and
they're really cheap to run. They need
hardly any maintenance and haven't
depreciated since I bought them.
Literally the only criticism I could make
of them is sometimes, if I really push
them into a corner, they can fly off the
track and get stuck under the sofa...
I'm fed up with comments from people
ridiculing EVs. They don't know what
they're talking about.
Personally, I drive two top of the range
EVs, a Jaguar and a Porsche.
Their acceleration and handling is
fantastic. They look brilliant and
they're really cheap to run. They need
hardly any maintenance and haven't
depreciated since I bought them.
Literally the only criticism I could make
of them is sometimes, if I really push
them into a corner, they can fly off the
track and get stuck under the sofa...
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I got test results back from my Doctor today and he said it looks like I'll never work again.
"What's wrong with me?" I said.
"Nothing" he replied, "You're a lazy ****."
"What's wrong with me?" I said.
"Nothing" he replied, "You're a lazy ****."
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I failed my application to get onto The Chase.
Q. Who won the first Tour De France
Apparently the 42nd Panzer Regiment was incorrect.
Q. Who won the first Tour De France
Apparently the 42nd Panzer Regiment was incorrect.