Joke thread

[mrcunny]

The wife brought home a tub of ice-cream and asked if I wanted some. "How hard is it?" I asked. She cheekily
replied, "As hard as your cock when you're thinking about me naked!". I said "Go on then, pour me a
glass....."

 

[MCFC BOB]

Ha.

 

[TTTCITYBHOY]

i would just like to say,unike that tosser Giggs,
if i get caught shagging a model with massive tits..
ye can tell anybody ye fukn like

 

[glen quagmire]

Neil lennon

 

[TTTCITYBHOY]

"KARMA" Sutra position no. 54.The Pirate.


When giving it doggy style,spit on her back,so she (or he for some of you) thinks you've came.
When she turns around blast her in the face.
Known as The Pirate because she'll put 1 hand over her eye,
and shout AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH.

 

[pablozabaleta]

The wife brought home a tub of ice-cream and asked if I wanted some. "How hard is it?" I asked. She cheekily
replied, "As hard as your cock when you're thinking about me naked!". I said "Go on then, pour me a
glass....."

Haha, that made me chuckle :)

 

[TTTCITYBHOY]

Neil lennon

g.q.

 

[the mystery illness]

young lad pulls an older woman at a club , shes 58 but looks good for her age.
on the way back to her house he's thinkin "mmmmm i bet her daughters a belter" , when out of the blue she says "how do you fancy a sportsmans double ?"
"what's that ?" he says , "a mother & daughter threesome !" she replies
he says "YES FUCKING PLEASE !!"
so as they go in the front door , she puts the hall light on and shouts " mum , put yer fuckin teeth in , he's up for it !"

 

[glen quagmire]

Neil lennon

g.q.

Sorry mate, i couldn't resist! I'm going to work in a minute, and thought i'd do the old 'hit and run' technique!

 

[MCFC BOB]

"KARMA" Sutra position no. 54.The Pirate.


When giving it doggy style,spit on her back,so she (or he for some of you) thinks you've came.
When she turns around blast her in the face.
Known as The Pirate because she'll put 1 hand over her eye,
and shout AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH.

HAHAA.

 

[TTTCITYBHOY]

5 rags walking down the street.
A thief,an ugly bastard,a paedo,a rapist,and a smelly ****....









































i'm not even going to try and describe the other 4.

 

[the mystery illness]

so i'm shagging this bird over the kitchen table when we heard the front door open , she says "it's my husband !, quick , use the back door !".......
thinking back i should have really legged it , but invites like that don't come along every day

 

[TTTCITYBHOY]

Some people say the best feeling in the world is the birth of your 1st child...





















clearly these people have never seen a rag being hit by a 30 ton truck.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

A Jehovas whitness has just knocked on my door. I said "come in, what would you like to talk about"?... He said "fuck knows, i've never got this far before"!!<br /><br />-- Mon May 30, 2011 8:00 pm --<br /><br />A bloke walked in to a library and asks a librarian behind the desk. "Excuse me but i'd like to borrow a book on under age dwarf sex".
She looks disgusted on hearing that and replies - "How fucking low can you stoop"?..... To which he quickly replied - "yeh, that's the one"!

 

[pudge]

"KARMA" Sutra position no. 54.The Pirate.


When giving it doggy style,spit on her back,so she (or he for some of you) thinks you've came.
When she turns around blast her in the face.
Known as The Pirate because she'll put 1 hand over her eye,
and shout AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH.

I always thought this was the Spiderman lol

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?













Get in the Batmobile Robin

 

[Six Skinner]

United fans cause traffic chaos on the streets of Manchester , as their team celebrate gettin twatted at wembley again.

 

[jamiegrimble]

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.

 

[tueartsboots]

During the 2nd half of the Champions League Final Alex Ferguson remonstrated with the 4th official to introduce a ball. Confused the official told Alex that there was already one on the pitch to which Ferguson replied,'I know but Barcelona are using that one!'

 

[Joycee Banercheck]

When the missus said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkees,I thought she was joking.


And then I saw her face

 

[york away to this!]

During the 2nd half of the Champions League Final Alex Ferguson remonstrated with the 4th official to introduce a ball. Confused the official told Alex that there was already one on the pitch to which Ferguson replied,'I know but Barcelona are using that one!'

...excellent.....