Joke thread

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[sir baconface]

I was on the piss with my mates at a party last night when I looked at my phone and noticed 30 missed calls from my wife.

Is she insecure or what?

That's an average of 10 calls a fkn day!

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bri1975]

View attachment 145032

Had a beer have we ?

 

[Blue Mist]

Had a beer have we ?

I bought him it.

 

[bluethrunthru]

should be reet

 

[GornikDaze]

I bought him it.

Best joke so far! Close the thread!! :)

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

View attachment 145032

Had a beer have we ?

No mate, sober as a judge, why do you ask ?

 

[Sam Armstrong]

 

[Bri1975]

View attachment 145032

No mate, sober as a judge, why do you ask ?

You posted the same joke twice , less than an hour apart

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

You posted the same joke twice , less than an hour apart

I thought it was that good it deserved 2 posts : )
My phone was playing up so I didn't realise it had posted the first time.
Misty did NOT buy me a drink

 

[Blue Mist]

I thought it was that good it deserved 2 posts : )
My phone was playing up so I didn't realise it had posted the first time.
Misty did NOT buy me a drink

Don't take it out on @Skr1975 just because you are in a mood.
You've had one too many* and now you want to be belligerent.
I bought you a fruit cider but you got annoyed because it didn't have one of those umbrellas in it.

*3

 

[horlock_was_super]

I thought it was that good it deserved 2 posts : )
My phone was playing up so I didn't realise it had posted the first time.
Misty did NOT buy me a drink

This joke would have worked if you had used it when the clocks go back.

 

[eric pode of croydon]

View attachment 145027

Jesus I hate Liverpool as much as anyone but Gemma Collins? I wouldn't want that abomination within a million miles of me.

 

[Sheriff Fatman]

Jesus I hate Liverpool as much as anyone but Gemma Collins? I wouldn't want that abomination within a million miles of me.

So it's one of the other four then?

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Don't take it out on @Skr1975 just because you are in a mood.
You've had one too many* and now you want to be belligerent.
I bought you a fruit cider but you got annoyed because it didn't have one of those umbrellas in it.

*3

You've never bought 3 drinks in your lifetime

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Don't take it out on @Skr1975 just because you are in a mood.
You've had one too many* and now you want to be belligerent.
I bought you a fruit cider but you got annoyed because it didn't have one of those umbrellas in it.

*3

I'm not in a mood, @Skr1975 simply pointed out my mistake and I explained what had happened then you have to butt in and start bragging about all your money and saying how generous you when in reality you never spend a penny on beer.
Anyway I don't drink that fruit cider crap anymore, G&T for me these days

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

This joke would have worked if you had used it when the clocks go back.

I'm not that clever mate : )

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Jesus I hate Liverpool as much as anyone but Gemma Collins? I wouldn't want that abomination within a million miles of me.

Beauty is only a light switch away

 

[Grassland Blue]

Jesus I hate Liverpool as much as anyone but Gemma Collins? I wouldn't want that abomination within a million miles of me.

I think it is safe to say, she will definitely be within a million miles of you right now....