I'm not missing your point deliberately you just did not state it clearly!
Mandela and Adams both renounced violence as a possible solution to their problems. That meant you could sit down with them, I think the phrase is 'in good faith'. i.e it's not just a simple case of saying do what I want or I will kill ANY of your people. They fully accepted that they need to negotiate a settlement. Most of us accepted that they were changed men and accepted, for the greater good, that those negotiations were necessary.
Hamas and probably Netanyahu simply do not want a negotiated settlement. They want to win, for want of a better phrase, they are sick fuckers. I am 100% with you on the need for both side to negotiate (most people are) and I believe that's what the diplomats have been trying to do for, what seems, ever. The problem, as it as ever been, is getting reasonable people on both sides of the table to negotiate a reasonable solution. I posted a few days ago that when this all blew up there was less than 1 million people in the area, now there are 15million. Any 'winning' side cannot just remove the other side from the area as there is nowhere to go. So I'll repeat again, the only 'sensible' solution is to negotiate but it seems 'sensible' is not a word in the Israel/Palestine dictionary.