Martin Samuel…
Henderson had come too far, to the edge of his area, but the ball hadn’t kicked on as expected. Now he was stranded, unable to handle, out of position, Haaland about to nick the ball around him. Panicking he swung an arm and wafted the ball away to his left, Haaland now without opportunity, danger momentarily averted. Attwell, of course, did nothing. His VAR, Michael Salisbury, sprung into action at the next break in play. Maybe the VAR’s VAR, Jarred Gillett, had a shufti too. They might as well have asked Curly, Larry and Moe. All came to the conclusion that Attwell’s initial mistake was spot-on.
And then, as is the fashion for Howard Webb’s PGMOL, it was time to light the gas.
The evidence before you is wrong. Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, not around my eyes, 1-2-3, you’re back in the room. You didn’t see a deliberate handball to prevent a goalscoring opportunity. The player with 275 goals in 339 club matches – plus 40 in 41 internationals – was never going to score from there. He was running away from goal, not towards it. He would have had to hit a shot marginally across his body. He never does that. No player does. It’s impossible. How could anyone consider such a thing?
“The direction in which Erling Haaland was going made it a possible, but not an obvious goal scoring opportunity,” said Professional Gaslighting Match Officials Ltd. Obvious? What’s obvious got to do with it? Who decides obviousness? Could Haaland have scored? Sounds like a yes. Was it handball? Definitely. Then it’s a red card.
Not that there would have been anyone beyond the sky blue corner who wanted Palace’s goalkeeper sent off, but we do like to see the rules applied competently, even if it doesn’t suit our desires. And neutrals can feel dispassionate about this outcome because we all wanted Palace to lift their first trophy; but for those who were part of City’s contingent, to see the player that shouldn’t even have been on the field then save your team’s penalty – and make some other outstanding saves – must have sucked.