The FOC thread.

[Protein Junkie]

I second this, purely on the basis that it's nice to be classed as a 'Junior' anything these days...

Maybe guest memberships for anybody else who has to get up twice a night?

A junior FOC is basically like a five year apprenticeship in which time you have to master several things.
* Make the transition from using your thumb to index finger when texting.
* Obtain your Mobility Scooter Licence (you are not allowed to Joust without one)
* Check weather alerts hourly and complain irrespective of local conditions.
* Wear a shirt, tie and cardigan in 30degree heat.
* regular use of the phrase “I remember when” or “You won’t remember when”
* Fall asleep when you should be awake and vice versa.
* Make a trip to the Garden Centre a whole day experience.

 

[mexico1970]

A junior FOC is basically like a five year apprenticeship in which time you have to master several things.
* Make the transition from using your thumb to index finger when texting.
* Obtain your Mobility Scooter Licence (you are not allowed to Joust without one)
* Check weather alerts hourly and complain irrespective of local conditions.
* Wear a shirt, tie and cardigan in 30degree heat.
* regular use of the phrase “I remember when” or “You won’t remember when”
* Fall asleep when you should be awake and vice versa.
* Make a trip to the Garden Centre a whole day experience.

I have realised lately that on my table next to the sofa I keep tissues and a selection of boiled sweets, mint and butter humbugs at the minute it was army and navy last week.

It just sorta fucking creeps on you :)

 

[Protein Junkie]

I have realised lately that on my table next to the sofa I keep tissues and a selection of boiled sweets, mint and butter humbugs at the minute it was army and navy last week.

It just sorta fucking creeps on you :)

I still have my own teeth but lost a few at the back.
This means that quite often there is a mini reservoir of dribble on my pillows in the morning.
Quite handy in this weather !!!

 

[Lavinda Past]

I have realised lately that on my table next to the sofa I keep tissues and a selection of boiled sweets, mint and butter humbugs at the minute it was army and navy last week.

It just sorta fucking creeps on you :)

'Someone' put my sofa table in the wrong place (probably after hoovering), and my cup of tea wasn't in the exact place that I always have it when I reached over the chair arm.

I nearly knocked the cup over. Had I done so, 'someone' would no doubt have blamed me.

The whole bloody world turns against you when you're an FOC.

 

[noseve]

I think the realisation that I qualified was the first day that I appreciated the unfettered joy to be had from a thermal vest...

 

[Bill Walker]

'Someone' put my sofa table in the wrong place (probably after hoovering), and my cup of tea wasn't in the exact place that I always have it when I reached over the chair arm.

I nearly knocked the cup over. Had I done so, 'someone' would no doubt have blamed me.

The whole bloody world turns against you when you're an FOC.

You think you've got problems, they're building a house 4 lots away from us, twats, hammering and banging at fucking 7:30 am.
Don't the tossers know I need my sleep after working for nearly 50 fucking years, yes the whole world is against you, you're bang on Lavvy.

 

[noseve]

@Onholiday(somemightsay) I notice everyone has ignored you. Probably because they forgot your question.
I propose the following
60-65 Junior FOC (my category)
66-70 Mainstream FOC
71-75 Senior FOC
76-80 Grandmaster FOC
80+ @oakiecokie FOC

Grandmaster 3 golden rules:

Never pass a lavatory;
Never trust a fart;
Never waste a hard-on!

 

[Bill Walker]

'Someone' put my sofa table in the wrong place (probably after hoovering), and my cup of tea wasn't in the exact place that I always have it when I reached over the chair arm.

I nearly knocked the cup over. Had I done so, 'someone' would no doubt have blamed me.

The whole bloody world turns against you when you're an FOC.

Hope you get your cup of tea and table sorted soon mate.
People really shouldn't fuck about with the accessibility of important furniture.

 

[city986]

As a junior foc I feel sorry for the kids of today as the will never own a Johnny 7 one man army gun or win a smoking chimp at the fair they really don't know what they missed

 

[Eccles Blue]

I’ve just realised that even at my ancient age I am still a member of a group! I’d forgotten what it was like. :-) ;-)

 

[noseve]

Johnny 7

and Secret Sam - that really takes me back...

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

I never knew he (fluff) was an Aussie, until I knew.

That's true. I never know owt until I know it.

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

@Onholiday(somemightsay) I notice everyone has ignored you. Probably because they forgot your question.
I propose the following
60-65 Junior FOC (my category)
66-70 Mainstream FOC
71-75 Senior FOC
76-80 Grandmaster FOC
80+ @oakiecokie FOC

I would respectfully demand inclusion in that list for the aristocrats of the FOC fraternity - the FOCs of CBL3!

 

[KS55]

That's true. I never know owt until I know it.

Bluemoon’s greatness rests on such profound posts.

 

[KS55]

@Onholiday(somemightsay) I notice everyone has ignored you. Probably because they forgot your question.
I propose the following
60-65 Junior FOC (my category)
66-70 Mainstream FOC
71-75 Senior FOC
76-80 Grandmaster FOC
80+ @oakiecokie FOC

Wa-hey, I’m a grandmaster. Q-a7 mate.

 

[Protein Junkie]

Grandmaster 3 golden rules:

Never pass a lavatory;
Never trust a fart;
Never waste a hard-on!

I’m on Amoxicillin atm so point two is very advanced for me as a Junior FOC.

 

[KS55]

Grandmaster 3 golden rules:

Never pass a lavatory;
Never trust a fart;
Never waste a hard-on!

What’s a hard on? I seem to have forgotten the term.

 

[Lavinda Past]

There are only three certainties in life: death, taxes, and that sometime around your 60th birthday, your doctor will put you on several courses of unpronounceable medication after violating your arsehole.

 

[noseve]

What’s a hard on? I seem to have forgotten the term.

It's what you get when you see Werther's Original on special offer

 

[citizen_maine]

That's true. I never know owt until I know it.

and by then, it's too late to go back