What problem did you have today??

Went for my mid-afternoon coffee in Tescos cafe and found all tables occupied or unsided from last customer
So had to pick the cleanest dirty table
Wife away all week so was also wearing my cleanest dirty shirt to add to the misery (credits to Johnny Cash)
 
These easy peelers are not easy to peel!! The rind comes off in little fingernail pieces, a mess. what happened to satsumas eh, where have they gone? The original, GOAT easy peeler
Oranges are what yer want, proper oranges none of this easy peeler bollocks, fuck me is that what society has become? Too lazy to peel a fucking orange.
What nex self peeling bananas? Pre chewed apple?
 
Oranges are what yer want, proper oranges none of this easy peeler bollocks, fuck me is that what society has become? Too lazy to peel a fucking orange.
What nex self peeling bananas? Pre chewed apple?
Gaz you fucking nailed it. If someone says, they dont like oranges, "because you have to peel it and its difficult, " I give them a withering, if we ever ended up washed up on a desert island, you're dead before we dry out, look. Cunts.
 
Gaz you fucking nailed it. If someone says, they dont like oranges, "because you have to peel it and its difficult, " I give them a withering, if we ever ended up washed up on a desert island, you're dead before we dry out, look. Cunts.
I might have known you would approve pal, it's a well known fact most jocks could peel and orange in their pockets
 
Oranges are what yer want, proper oranges none of this easy peeler bollocks, fuck me is that what society has become? Too lazy to peel a fucking orange.
What nex self peeling bananas? Pre chewed apple?
Talking of apples, and this is another problem, was in Tesco the other day. Picked up a bag of pink ladies or whatever they're called, looked at the country of origin - New fucking Zealand!
Now I'm not going to get all patriotic and start red-crossing in the aisles, but if the UK can do one thing right it's grow apples surely? I went through six types of apple before I found some grown in the UK. Now that's bananas
 
Talking of apples, and this is another problem, was in Tesco the other day. Picked up a bag of pink ladies or whatever they're called, looked at the country of origin - New fucking Zealand!
Now I'm not going to get all patriotic and start red-crossing in the aisles, but if the UK can do one thing right it's grow apples surely? I went through six types of apple before I found some grown in the UK. Now that's bananas
Eating food that you are genetically made to eat can't be a bad thing when you can mate, fuck knows what all of this eating food out of season is doing to us.
 
Mine was a little less dramatic, couldn't log into ITVX on my new virgin 360 box. Had to do a factory reset, which worked, despite it being straight out of the box, unaltered from its factory settings.......
They keep trying to get me to 'upgrade' to their new box, even sent me a new box via Yodel last week despite me telling them I didn't want it. Which I refused on delivery as luckily I was just leaving for work as it arrived.

Reason is, all your recordings from your old box are lost, you can't record on the new box only stream, so I'd rather watch the episodes I'm still catching up on than trying to seek them all out on various streaming services only to find they're unavailable or payable.

Problem I have today is it's the eldest's first day back at school, and the yorkie bar she'd been saving for break has disappeared courtesy of my wife, who is now offended that she's been caught for taking it and doubly offended at the suggestion she should have replaced it.

Somehow in all of this it's now my fault, because I made the suggestion that whoever had it one should at least put the empty packet in the bin.
 
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Talking of apples, and this is another problem, was in Tesco the other day. Picked up a bag of pink ladies or whatever they're called, looked at the country of origin - New fucking Zealand!
Now I'm not going to get all patriotic and start red-crossing in the aisles, but if the UK can do one thing right it's grow apples surely? I went through six types of apple before I found some grown in the UK. Now that's bananas
Yes but not at the disgustingly low price supermarkets like Tesco force growers to accept - like all supermarkets they've got into a mindset that only THEY can make a profit and f*ck any supplier who might dare to make a teeny weeny amount for themselves
 
Left my brolly in shop to dry off whilst I got some bits, some **** nicked it and I had to walk a fair bit in the pissing rain home
 
I had to go into the office and listen to annoying cunts giggling like children. One of the women laughs like Elle Hitler, the librarian off Family Guy. Believe me once I figured that out it never leaves my mind.
You sound haunted. And with good reason.

If I believed in God, I would pray for you. But i dont. So you're on your fucking own lad..

You can do it.
 

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