The Album Review Club - Week #191 (page 1286) - Harlequin Dream - Boy & Bear

Might be my first, yeah. I rate the experience as much as the album, as I have previously noted. And this was cringe.

I am actually quite disappointed tbh, because I wanted to 'find' something in it. TS has such a volume of stuff, some of it is bound to be pap, but I wasn't expecting a nothing album to this extent.

For the record I would have rated Folklore at least a 6, on the whole, I quite enjoyed that album. The other similar one was a bit more of the same byt not as good, but ok. And her hits I don't mind one bit, some I even like perhaps. I think she is talented enough and clever enough and is big for a reason. I am not one bit anti taylor swift.

It is just a guff album. That's all.
Cringeworthy. Not cringe. I'm a bit disappointed in you if I'm honest.
 
I tried, I really tried but I’m an FOC and just don’t get it.
Can’t stand her voice, don’t like the arrangements.
She’s obviously talented and tuned into her demographic but Not for my generation I think.
Because there were a couple of songs I didn’t think were utter shite I’ll score
2/10
 
I can't listen to it anymore so my thoughts are more incoherent than normal. Hopefully my kid comes up with something worthy.

Speak Now by Taylor Swift fetishizes romance and creates an ultimately bland fantasy that has made Swift a billionaire and increased the likelihood that my kids will die childless and alone. As a famously autobiographical writer I’m disappointed to discover her life is a lie unless she really is a sexless AI relentlessly churning out the plots of Netflix standard romantic comedies regardless of the prompt.

Speak Now was written whilst Swift was on the cusp of womanhood and the most obvious critique of this album would complain that it feels like it was written by an immature woman. This is because it is so I can’t fault it for that and really this is a feat that should be applauded. At 20 I didn’t know how to make pasta and if I were to fault her for this I’d also have to rewrite my review last week and criticise Five Leaves Left for sounding like it was written by a pale middle class intellectual made numb by his own privilege.

There is also a version of this review where I accuse her of blurring the lines between girl and woman in a creepy way like those programs from the 70’s where children would wear make up and adults would judge their beauty. At times there are childish attempts at exploring adult things and adult things being presented in a childish way. But again this is possibly an unfair criticism as it was written by a person leaving childhood and becoming a woman. 7 out of 10 paedophiles rate this as their favourite album.

In Mine Swift tells a tale of a liberating love and it seems they’ve moved in together – they’ve got bills to pay BUT she only has a draw of her things at his place. She hints at some kind of conflict in her relationship with her father as she sings about a lovers quarrel at 2:30am where she is expecting to face rejection (presumably like she faced from her father) only to be surprised by acceptance. It’s a child’s understanding of an adult relationship.

Sparks Fly is a not very sexy song about sex although it is romantic. She’s just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her. And he has green eyes. Super romantic.

Back to December is a song about looking back at a previous relationship with some regret. It must be the guy with the drawer. She wants him back anyway. This song is sponsored by Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Speak Now is a jolly little tune about breaking up a wedding. Nothing screams romance like encouraging a guy to ditch his bride at the altar. Adults get married but she’s a girl and he’s a boy. Probably shouldn’t be getting married that young or have children cosplaying as adults. There is a name for people who encourage children to do adult things. Also being not the kind of girl that breaks up weddings is such a weird flex. How often is she getting this opportunity?

Dear Taylor. Choose your men more carefully. And is this the same guy with the drawer or the guy you regret breaking up with or the guy who’s wedding you ruined. You’ve done a lot at 19. Plus this song is giving me a vibe that this guy is older than you. Make better choices as you become a billionaire successful young woman.

Mean aggravates in its simplistic exploration of becoming successful as an act of revenge……

I’m now repeating myself like Taylor. My eyes are whispering I’ve written enough. This night is sparkling like the water in my sink and I need to wash dishes. Better Than Revenge is not how adults behave but I don’t have the energy to compare and contrast to Mean or point out the inconsistency with Speak Now.

Swift you’ve had enough of my time. Your brand of female empowerment is vapid and obsessed with men. You’ve sold relationships as if they are magical but the message your selling is that the love that lasts forever only lasts a week. Sure it’s made you rich and you’re about to marry a physical specimen of a man but your fans won’t be so lucky. They are dancing in their pyjama’s waiting for Mr Right to dump them. They deserve better. I’m giving this a 4 because you’re good at telling stories even if the stories you tell were all directed by Nancy Myers or starred Ryan Gosling. My eyes are brown but I’d have treated you right even if you were botox in human form.
 
Crap.
I'm glad my daughter is in her thirties now or otherwise I would have to put up with this shite like I had to do with the Spice Girls.
The difference being looking back I did not mind the Spice Girls at the time.
Okay nothing great for me but tunes wise alright and a movie that I sat through with my daughter a few times no problem.
This nonsense never again. 1
 
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I don't mind some Taylor Swift singles, they can be quite catchy but it's music that isn't aimed at me!

I gave the album a listen and it's not bad, but there's absolutely nothing that jumps out at me at all. It's just ... 'Friends music'. It's nice, comforting but ultimately boring. It's country for people who don't really like country, pop for people who like country, rock for people who don't like rock and it fails to hit any of the bases. She may have written all the songs herself, but so have many other artists.

I think these albums just really lack any type of ambition other than sales. She's got little to say, the producers make it appeal to the target market. For want of a better term, it's 'bad art' for me.

Strangely, when I listen to this album it reminds me a bit of how I felt when I first got into music through friends. I would try to listen to albums in the charts and none of them really floated my boat. I thought music was like this album - just something nice, boring and I felt I was 'wrong' for not getting it. Then I heard Revolver and Dark Side Of The Moon and everything made musical-sense. I can imagine if I was 14 now, I wouldn't be getting Taylor Swift.

I know some people think she's super-talented but if I'm honest, I don't really hear it. When I compare these songs to ones made by kids who were probably about the same age in the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s I just don't this compares to them. The songs are ok, just the usual over-produced stuff that sounds like her contemporaries and the lyrics are passable with nothing new to say or add that a million other songs haven't already said.

4/10.
 
Might be my first, yeah. I rate the experience as much as the album, as I have previously noted. And this was cringe.

I am actually quite disappointed tbh, because I wanted to 'find' something in it. TS has such a volume of stuff, some of it is bound to be pap, but I wasn't expecting a nothing album to this extent.

For the record I would have rated Folklore at least a 6, on the whole, I quite enjoyed that album. The other similar one was a bit more of the same byt not as good, but ok. And her hits I don't mind one bit, some I even like perhaps. I think she is talented enough and clever enough and is big for a reason. I am not one bit anti taylor swift.

It is just a guff album. That's all.

I did say to Rob that with this specific album choice he'd done his assistant ed over!

Of the now six albums of hers I'm now at least a little bit familiar with, Folklore is by some margin the best/most listenable imo and tbh I've played tracks from that since my experimental listen. 1989 has some very good pop songs on it too.

Whilst it's not immediately apparent, I think you can actually draw a fairly straight line between this album and Folklore which I think is a logical distillation of where she started from.

At the end of the day this was written by a teenage girl for mostly teenage girls and so rating it by experience/resonance is entirely valid but not going to go well on an FOC forum. My emotional response was maybe not that far from yours as our scores suggest but I decided to go for an analytical approach mostly so I had something to contribute. That's not a criticism of your approach which is more honest, just a choice I made for this pick.

Had the pick been Red I would have really laid into it because its utterly utterly cynical, albeit in a clever cartoon evil genius kind of way.
 
Sparks Fly is a not very sexy song about sex although it is romantic. She’s just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her. And he has green eyes. Super romantic.

Finally we have something to get our teeth into... is "Richard Curtis music" an even bigger insult than "Friends music" ??

In fairness that Sugababes one where Hugh Grant is the Prime Minister is a bit of a banger, Toooo lost in youuuuu something something
 
Crap.
I'm glad my daughter is in her thirties now or otherwise I would have to put up with this shite like I had to do with the Spice Girls.
The difference being looking back I did not mind the Spice Girls at the time.
Okay nothing great for me but tunes wise alright and a movie that I sat through with my daughter a few times no problem.
This nonsense never again.
Can you be bothered to score it?
 
Finally we have something to get our teeth into... is "Richard Curtis music" an even bigger insult than "Friends music" ??

In fairness that Sugababes one where Hugh Grant is the Prime Minister is a bit of a banger, Toooo lost in youuuuu something something
Curtis did that movie where everyone forgot about the Beatles except one guy! Which band would you like to be the only person that remembered?
 
Curtis did that movie where everyone forgot about the Beatles except one guy! Which band would you like to be the only person that remembered?

Was gonna say that film's a bit of a guilty pleasure and I quite like Lilly Allen but I'm pretty sure that's the wrong Lilly.

Anyway to answer your question... Leonard Cohen or Motorhead.

What about you?
 
Was gonna say that film's a bit of a guilty pleasure and I quite like Lilly Allen but I'm pretty sure that's the wrong Lilly.

Anyway to answer your question... Leonard Cohen or Motorhead.
That's an interesting duo. You're thinking of Phil's (rip) lass - lily Collins.

Film was decent. Saw it with the wife and she did some karaoke at the end
 
Swift you’ve had enough of my time. Your brand of female empowerment is vapid and obsessed with men. You’ve sold relationships as if they are magical but the message your selling is that the love that lasts forever only lasts a week. Sure it’s made you rich and you’re about to marry a physical specimen of a man but your fans won’t be so lucky. They are dancing in their pyjama’s waiting for Mr Right to dump them. They deserve better. I’m giving this a 4 because you’re good at telling stories even if the stories you tell were all directed by Nancy Myers or starred Ryan Gosling. My eyes are brown but I’d have treated you right even if you were botox in human form.
Boo. Mean spirited. You need to spend more time with Swifties - then you will understand. :-)
 
That's an interesting duo. You're thinking of Phil's (rip) lass - lily Collins.

Film was decent. Saw it with the wife and she did some karaoke at the end

I fear not but it'll come back to me eventually. I know it's none of Tomlin, Savage or The Pink. My refusal to look it up is beginning to annoy my wife so I may just have to google it.

You didn't mention which band you'd want to remember.
 
Crap.
I'm glad my daughter is in her thirties now or otherwise I would have to put up with this shite like I had to do with the Spice Girls.
The difference being looking back I did not mind the Spice Girls at the time.
Okay nothing great for me but tunes wise alright and a movie that I sat through with my daughter a few times no problem.
This nonsense never again. 1

Tbf the 1/10 I can understand but the worse than the spice girls part is completely baffling. Surely just happy memories of time spent with your daughter?

Thinking about it, culturally and commercially they probably tilled the soil that Swift has then been able to grow zillions of dollars in but musically they were just a very very gash version of The Monkees but without the eventually bothering to become good themselves bit. Along with the likes of boyzone they were also probably instrumental in convincing Simon Cowell he could make shit loads of money doing stuff like the X factor.
 
Tbf the 1/10 I can understand but the worse than the spice girls part is completely baffling. Surely just happy memories of time spent with your daughter?

Thinking about it, culturally and commercially they probably tilled the soil that Swift has then been able to grow zillions of dollars in but musically they were just a very very gash version of The Monkees but without the eventually bothering to become good themselves bit. Along with the likes of boyzone they were also probably instrumental in convincing Simon Cowell he could make shit loads of money doing stuff like the X factor.
Did the Spice Girls even have any proper instruments on their songs?
 

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