United Thread | 2025/26

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Blueknows said:
www.bbc.co.uk

Bobby Charlton: Man Utd will finish above Man City next season

Manchester United legend Sir Bobby Charlton "guarantees" the club will finish above rivals Manchester City next season.
www.bbc.co.uk www.bbc.co.uk
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Desperate fookers, that lot. I watched the Jim Carey film, The Truman Show, a few years ago, this lot should all be placed in something similar so they can all talk utter shit together with polluting our lug holes. And there'd be no Internet, so nothing seeps out. And while I'm at it, no natural light. That'll do for now.
 
Another day, another fluff article on the rags from the BBC.

They're going to win the league next season. They've got the best youngsters in the world.
They're signing the best players in every position.
They're getting a new stadium.


Heard it all before. They'll be incredibly reliant on favourable decisions, find the challenge of more games per week impossible with the quality of players they have, moan like hell about the unfairness, fail, sack the manager, have a protest or two, get a signature signing or new boss to appease, and then restart the cycle by bigging up the next season.

Here's some article ideas for the BBC for tomorrow:

Why Manchester United think the taxpayer should pay for their new stadium?

How long before the fans realise Carrick is not the right guy?

Why Elliot Anderson certainly won't be playing for the rags next season, and why United didn't want him anyway.

United top of the league for internet clickability again.

Explained; why putting your studs into someone's knee at force isn't a red card.

Jim Ratcliffe: analysis of a tax dodger.

Why debt isn't important in football ownership.

Flashback: when united profited off contaminated meat sold to schoolchildren.

Why Jack Grealish getting pissed whilst out injured is far worse than boinking your brother's missus or jumping out of bathroom windows to avoid drugs tests.

Top 10 spring United tips for crawling out from under your rock in style.

Representation study of percentage of FA cup matches shown live by the BBC per team.
 
Protein Junkie said:
Part time footballer looking for a Career in Comedy.
www.bbc.co.uk

Mason Mount is targeting Premier League title glory at Man Utd

Manchester United's Mason Mount feels the club can end their 13-year wait for a Premier League title next season.
www.bbc.co.uk www.bbc.co.uk
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Stone again. Tomorrow's story is that Cunha rates his shitting style over other players.

"I use a pedestal to put my feet on so that my colon has maximum exposure, leading to the stool sliding out easier, thus resulting in a cleaner sphincter. I learned this technique back home in Brazil. It was at this time that I fell in love with United. I used to watch old videos of Arthur Albiston and Graeme Hogg but it was John Sivebaek who really caught my attention. I've seen players of other clubs who have clear stainage on the back of their shorts. That's how we managed to beat Burnley 3-2 at Old Trafford - the Theatre of Dreams. Other players at the so called big 6 just don't crap efficiently. Anyway - I've shared my shitting technique with fellow Brazilians in the Premier League but Richarlison won't be told. I think it could make the difference come the World Cup if our arseholes are squeaky clean. Go ahead and taste my ringpiece. You won't get a hint of turd. Up a bit, that's the spot. By the way, if you need a story for tomorrow, you could do worse than talk to Luke Shaw about his Gregg's loyalty card."
 
Protein Junkie said:
Part time footballer looking for a Career in Comedy.
www.bbc.co.uk

Mason Mount is targeting Premier League title glory at Man Utd

Manchester United's Mason Mount feels the club can end their 13-year wait for a Premier League title next season.
www.bbc.co.uk www.bbc.co.uk
Click to expand...
Did Raggy Stone write this or was it the other Rag twat Shamoon?
I refuse to click on it myself to see and generate traffic as I won't contribute towards giving the paedo protectors an excuse to waste licence fee payers money writing more sycophantic Rag drivel.
 
Blueknows said:
And havent finished above us since
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Or even come close to winning or even challenging for the league.
Points wise they've been double digits behind the winners for the last 12 seasons; soon to be 13 seasons.
Basically they're an irelevant laughing stock living in the past.
 
Cellarite said:
Go ahead and taste my ringpiece. You won't get a hint of turd. Up a bit, that's the spot. By the way, if you need a story for tomorrow, you could do worse than talk to Luke Shaw about his Gregg's loyalty card."
Click to expand...
Stone won't need asking twice, he's so far up the Rags arses I'm surprised his gaint conk hasn't popped out of Car Wrecks mouth at a Rag press conference.
 
Vienna_70 said:
And we need a maximum of four points to make it happen for the 13th consecutive season.

And with our vastly superior goal difference (currently 23 better than theirs), three points will almost certainly be enough.
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I've found my St Beneathus Day meme and it's primed and ready to send out when the day arrives.
Like Easter the date changes every year but you know it will happen in spring.
 
Blueboy73 said:
Or even come close to winning or even challenging for the league.
Points wise they've been double digits behind the winners for the last 12 seasons; soon to be 13 seasons.
Basically they're an irrelevant laughing stock living in the past.
Click to expand...
Jethro Tull like this post.
 
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