What's the most drunk you've ever been?

When I was about 20 at I was at university I went out on an all dryer, started on gold fish bowls at about midday and was still on them at about midnight. Fuck knows what was in them, some random cocktails with stupid mixes and amounts of alcohol most likely.

I woke up the next morning and I’d been sick on myself in bed and also pissed and shit the bed. I also had a black eye, bruised knuckles and a bruised hip and a dead leg.

The lads said the next day that I was all over the show, on my feet one minute, on the floor the next. Used a girl’s skirt to help myself up which I pulled off on my way back up and her boyfriend smacked me one in the eye and when I regained my feet I swung a punch at him and hit a metal pole behind him and fell over again. Then they said I was hugging him and he bought me a drink (that I didn’t need)!

I remember absolutely nothing from about 8pm onwards. The twats let me carry on drinking and thought it was funny because I can usually handle my drink well so thought they’d see how much I could drink.
 
The last time I got really, thoroughly and properly pie eyed was in Tokyo, more years ago than I care to remember. The next morning, I remember throwing up (several times) in a waste paper bin on the platform of a station, while other people stood around and pretended not to notice, and I just thought, "That's it. Never again". But the worst thing, I think, was distinctly remembering singing a slurred version of "My Way" in a karaoke club and singing it badly out of tune (and it so happens that I can sing in tune). That was it. No more. The problem is that however legless I get a part of me remains stone-cold sober and looks on. Not good.

I still like to get “merry”, though.
 
City v Basle away is one time I sort of remember. I was aright until after the match when we went in a bar opposite the ground. The London Blues were drinking something that was literally on fire (Schnapps) so I had to try several. After that I only know what I was told, I fell over in the middle of the road and refused to get up. My mate who was still relatively sober flagged down a cop car thinking it was a taxi and somehow we got back to the apartment. I left the sink rather full and it wasn't the washing up.

Or Blackburn away when we won promotion, drinking before and after the game, I fell asleep in The Pevril of the Peak in Manchester until the Landlady told my mate that unless I woke up I would be barred. To my credit I woke up and carried on drinking.

There are many more.
 
The night of my 21st birthday party.

Next morning I woke up and walked across my bedroom floor and farted very hard... and shat on my carpet.

Grim.
 
Sydney NYE. Downed a litre of Vodka before midnight. Don’t remember the fireworks. Got separated from mates, so had to walk about 6 miles back to my hostel in Coogee where I met my hostel buddies and went for a swim. I sobered up only because I was caught in a rip and about to drown.
 
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