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We only have the right type of immigrants in leafy Cheshire.

Can you still buy singles for 10p?

Cling foil

Hip flasks are all the rage on the 3rd tier of the South Stand nowadays, not that it effects a non drinker like me.

It was when he bought the ball down in the box and attempted a volley which got blocked in the first half that reminded me. Confidence but not a big time Charlie, he's a real player.

Reminds me of Dennis Tueart

Got my new sky blue ''Savile Rouge' cashmere socks on, what could go wrong? 4 nil to City

I'm just glad that you didn't read about it in The Mail.

We've got a lovely couple from Dubai who've moved in on our leafy Cheshire avenue, regular mosque goers. Never felt in danger of being raped or violated by them.

What a stupid thing to say.

Hangers on the lot of them!

The Express is no.1 for royal news and extreme weather.

Good signing for Melbourne / New York

Vile

Unfortunately he's cup tied

What's the point buying a ticket when it's virtually impossible to get there!!

Real Madrid tried to sign him but they've been slapped with a transfer embargo.

I've been waiting all night for a tram, might set off walking......

Splash out on a personality, go on.

Maybe buy a sense of humour?