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Scouting report. I was at the Marseille-Benfica match last night. I had no idea who he was. But he was one of the best players on the pitch. The hairstyle of an older man. Very high shirt tuck (Rodri-style) maintained throughout. Neat and tidy. Never gave the ball away (or really did anything...

You probably have to be a certain age, say between 10 and 20 to be really heartbroken by a player leaving your club. I can only think of Ray Ranson, Paul Moulden and Paul Stewart. Maybe Darren Beckford. I know. That's a bit of a reach. But I liked him. And I was young. I get the whole thing with...

Ray Ranson

Seems like a good guy. But he looks like a player who doesn't really want the ball. And seems surprised when he is (crucially a few seconds too late) eventually given it. Not the end of the world. And he must be an AMAZING footballer. Remember, to get anywhere near our team he must be so good...

In Phil's defence, that ball into him from, say Dias, when he shows for it, back to goal, needs laying in one touch (from the the passer) and a split second earlier. We seem hesitant at the moment in the first pass into him. And so the moment goes. The pocket of space closes. And we start all...

Martin Demichelis?

Love him.

Radio Monté Carlo

Good luck Riyad! I like the way he used to come out of the tunnel for the pre-match warm-up thing by doing a little sprint (sometimes including step-overs!) onto the pitch, which I sort of think I would have done had I been selected - or, say, come on as a sub. Another great signing, really...

A glove-wearing (sometimes with short sleeves!) defender with a beard.

Another transfer that has worked out perfectly, really. Nothing but respect for Ilkay. Seems like a gentleman. And what a way to bow out. I wish him well. And I wouldn't be surprised to see him back one day on the coaching side. Maybe Pep had just started to see something we (I) hadn't...

Is there any better sight in world football than Kyle Walker on one of his recovery tackles? I've loved following Kyle during his time with us. What a player. Good luck to the lad.

Won't it depend on whether or not City choose to defend our FA Cup success? Didn't United choose to not bother after they'd won it? Just saying...

Is the white(ish) one a nod to Factory Records? I like it.

Steve Mackenzie once called me 'Big Ears'

For some reason I can see us winning the Chumps League wearing this.

The Zin Fairy is the absolute 'touch player'. THE absolute touch player, in my opinion. Anyone who has ever played the game will know what I mean. What a pleasure it has been to watch this lad these last few years. He has more time on the ball because his first touch is so good. Time will be...

New bee-inspired third kit?

Last night I took my son to see Saint Etienne (our French team, we're based in France, OK?) play Monaco. They (we, sort of) lost 1-4. In any case, ask anyone in France to name the grounds with the best atmosphere. And Saint Etienne will be in the top five. Thing is, their fans (incidentally...

Jamie Hoyland?