A Proud Day - updated - page 4.

What a day. I'm knackered, and I wasn't even competing. (Apologies for the flare. He's an ex-Blackburn fan, converted to the good side. It won't happen again.)

Hearty congratulations to Kev on the defence of his title. Looking foward to next year.
 
I've been told that Hull council are going to launch an investigation into this years sports day after at least Two spoons were found to have 'gum' on them. I have also heard that random urine samples will be taken next year in a bid to stamp out 'sport enhancement supplements' after 3kg of Haribos were found on school premises.

Congratulations on your win btw.
 
I did wonder about that chap ag, he had one eye on the race and one on the plane flying over. I had a feeling he was a bit odd. Thanks for the turnout and I'll be sure to flirt a batch of tickets over next summer.

rushts - I saw two blokes at the other end of the lanes fiddling with their spoons, I thought they were trying to copy my handling technique so turned my back in the moments before the start.
 
Great work The Major.

When you go for your hat trick of titles El Presidente will try and be there to award you your trophy
 
Rascal said:
Great work The Major.

When you go for your hat trick of titles El Presidente will try and be there to award you your trophy
Click to expand...

That would be too much! I've literally just got back from the school. I was dropping off a couple of cakes for a raffle they are holding tonight. When I asked the headteacher whether my trophy had been engraved and was ready for collection, she had a blank look on her face.

I reckon she's kidding me on. I suspect a hastily arranged assembly is being organised in my honour.
 
citykev28 said:
Rascal said:
Great work The Major.

When you go for your hat trick of titles El Presidente will try and be there to award you your trophy
Click to expand...

That would be too much! I've literally just got back from the school. I was dropping off a couple of cakes for a raffle they are holding tonight. When I asked the headteacher whether my trophy had been engraved and was ready for collection, she had a blank look on her face.

I reckon she's kidding me on. I suspect a hastily arranged assembly is being organised in my honour.
Click to expand...

Im sure thats the case. For such an important occasion im sure they will be arranging for Local dignatries such as the Mayor and Chairman of the school governors to be in attendence. I also suspect that the other fathers will be forming a guard of honour for you.

So to be safe be ready for 8am in the morning just in case the limo is early.
 
Inspired by Kev’s exploits of two years past, I some six months ago embarked on an intensive Rocky-esque training programme (hill sprints; piggy-backing a rucksack full of Beano’s; three legged shuttles with a scarecrow) designed to ensure I peak perfectly for the summer sports day season. I should point out at this stage that I don’t have any kids, but unperturbed I approached this insignificant obstacle much like one I would face in the race, and overcame it deftly...by incapacitating my sister, thus enabling me to attend my nieces event as her familial representative – result!

After doing my scientifically substantiated stretches in the comfort of my own home (away from the envious eyes of my ‘competition’), I strode down to the school with a spring in my step, basking in the sunshine - whose glow was much the same as the one I was set to radiate in comprehensive victory. Even the small talk at the gates, with the parents I have no desire to socialise with, was pleasantly tolerable from within my bubble of self belief. Assembling on the touchline I surveyed my rivals (obviously after first checking to see if the teacher was attractive – she was) and let out an audible squeal/ guffaw of delight/contempt at their collective feeble athletic frames.

I’m sure therefore you can quite imagine my chagrin when, after enduring half an hour of insufferable technique and non-exsistent tactical nous from these pathetic primary age ‘sports people’, I was informed in idle conversation by the blatant bottle merchant to my right that there would be, and I quote, ‘No parents race’!!!*

I’m afraid to say from the point on things were a bit of a blur and... well it didn’t end in amicable fashion. I still maintain that I didn’t deliberately trip up that marathon girl in the home straight, but I do have a vague recollection of hurling numerous bean bags at the cowering head teacher, which I’ve been told was just after I took a set of garden sheers to the tug-o-war rope, but before I was led away kicking and screaming with a sack race sack over my head and a hula hoop constricting my arms.

Anyway not to worry, I’m sure they’ll re-instate it next year.

*I did ask if there was an Uncle's race instead but I think I'd punched him before he had chance to respond.
 
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