purplenose
Well-Known Member
Right a little story for the great and good of Bluemoon to digest and then pass judgement....
Ladies and gentlemen of the bluemoon jury, you should know the following account of events concerns a rag of the very worst type, with every quality needed to make any normal human being want to see the twat getting a good hiding off a gang of rampaging Millwall fans.
On boxing day I went over to my mums which sadly is next door to the rag, on arrival I noted that the rags daughters boyfriend (probably a rag/looks like one) had parked his car outside my mums leaving just enough room for me to park...when the thick twat could have left ample room simply by parking a few feet further along. Despite this I managed to park pretty much plum with the hedge maybe an inch or two protruding across his drive, but not enough to make it even remotely difficult to drive off his drive.
Now the rag has paved over his garden to allow more parking... he has a car his son has a car his daughter has a car, his mrs has a big 4x4 which is parked in front of the neighbours house on the other side. Hence taking away on the road parking...
Anyway am sat at mums when about 7.30 at night the doorbell rings which I answer to find the rag on the step, threatening me with violence if I dont move my car and ranting about it being parked illegally, So i point out to him that were his daughters boyfriend to move his car a couple of foot then i can move mine if it is causing a problem, not having it our rag continues to tell me what he is going to do to me if I dont move my car. Now this **** is a fat bald twat about 6,2 i on the other hand am about 5,6 and have heart problems as well as a long term illness, however amusingly on hearing this tirade from the living room my 15yr old lad appears and enquires wtf is going on, at which point our rag departs rapidly up the drive and into his house never to be seen again...15yr old words of "get back here you fat bald prick" ringing in his ears. My 15 yr old is is about 6ft and developing a build that puts the fear of good up me.
Anyway when I had stopped laughing I thought given the nature of the threats it would be best to ring the boys in blue, who turned up and went and had words with the twat, and also confirmed that I was in no way parked illegally or causing any kind of obstruction.
Part of my ringing plod was also knowing that his very posh and stuck up wife would go ape at the shame of having them on the door step giving him a telling off for uncouth and loutish behaviour.
Anyhow having looked into the parking business a little deeper it appears that his little trick of paving over his lawn and making in effect a big drive ways is not strictly tickety boo....indeed not it turns out that he hasnt got a dropped kerb, hence meaning that each time one of the cars goes off the drive and onto the road the driver is committing an offence. He should it seems have applied to the council for this and would have to pay them a good grand or more to do the work to make this legal.
It also means that it would be still perfectly legal to park in front of his house and block two of the car in.
So ladies and gentlemen
1)Do I blow him up to the council, thus hitting the cretin in the pocket?
2)Do I park on the road and block his drive when I return at the weekend?
3)Let my 20 yr old who missed all the fun and is about the height of his younger brother but much wider and currently very annoyed at someone playing up on his 78yr old grans doorstep whilst he was at work deal with it.
Ladies and gentlemen of the bluemoon jury, you should know the following account of events concerns a rag of the very worst type, with every quality needed to make any normal human being want to see the twat getting a good hiding off a gang of rampaging Millwall fans.
On boxing day I went over to my mums which sadly is next door to the rag, on arrival I noted that the rags daughters boyfriend (probably a rag/looks like one) had parked his car outside my mums leaving just enough room for me to park...when the thick twat could have left ample room simply by parking a few feet further along. Despite this I managed to park pretty much plum with the hedge maybe an inch or two protruding across his drive, but not enough to make it even remotely difficult to drive off his drive.
Now the rag has paved over his garden to allow more parking... he has a car his son has a car his daughter has a car, his mrs has a big 4x4 which is parked in front of the neighbours house on the other side. Hence taking away on the road parking...
Anyway am sat at mums when about 7.30 at night the doorbell rings which I answer to find the rag on the step, threatening me with violence if I dont move my car and ranting about it being parked illegally, So i point out to him that were his daughters boyfriend to move his car a couple of foot then i can move mine if it is causing a problem, not having it our rag continues to tell me what he is going to do to me if I dont move my car. Now this **** is a fat bald twat about 6,2 i on the other hand am about 5,6 and have heart problems as well as a long term illness, however amusingly on hearing this tirade from the living room my 15yr old lad appears and enquires wtf is going on, at which point our rag departs rapidly up the drive and into his house never to be seen again...15yr old words of "get back here you fat bald prick" ringing in his ears. My 15 yr old is is about 6ft and developing a build that puts the fear of good up me.
Anyway when I had stopped laughing I thought given the nature of the threats it would be best to ring the boys in blue, who turned up and went and had words with the twat, and also confirmed that I was in no way parked illegally or causing any kind of obstruction.
Part of my ringing plod was also knowing that his very posh and stuck up wife would go ape at the shame of having them on the door step giving him a telling off for uncouth and loutish behaviour.
Anyhow having looked into the parking business a little deeper it appears that his little trick of paving over his lawn and making in effect a big drive ways is not strictly tickety boo....indeed not it turns out that he hasnt got a dropped kerb, hence meaning that each time one of the cars goes off the drive and onto the road the driver is committing an offence. He should it seems have applied to the council for this and would have to pay them a good grand or more to do the work to make this legal.
It also means that it would be still perfectly legal to park in front of his house and block two of the car in.
So ladies and gentlemen
1)Do I blow him up to the council, thus hitting the cretin in the pocket?
2)Do I park on the road and block his drive when I return at the weekend?
3)Let my 20 yr old who missed all the fun and is about the height of his younger brother but much wider and currently very annoyed at someone playing up on his 78yr old grans doorstep whilst he was at work deal with it.