Alcohol, hints, tips, advice etc.

I've worked in places where the drinking culture was rife. I'll not go into detail but lets just say I was working a 21-day shift pattern (10 nights, 1 day off, 10 day shifts, 10 days off.) For 18 months I did that, and on my 10 days off I travelled home.

For the first year, I pretty much drank for every day of the shift, apart form the day I travelled home. If night shift finished before midnight, we would end up in a bar, if it didn't we would end up at someone's house drinking until the early hours. The day off would be spent drinking from about 1100 until last man standing, which was way past midnight for some. Every day shift I was in the bar by 7pm at the very latest, always finishing past midnight.

When I got home on my 10 days off, first thing I would do would be stock up on beer and wine. I could easily finish 2 bottles of red before my missus had even finished a glass. It was dangerous. I wouldn't drink half as much as I did at work, but it was still way too much.

One day when I got back to work after my 10 days off, I'd found out that one of the guys I worked with had been taken to hospital. He'd collapsed at home, and when he'd got to hospital, they found he had really poor liver and kidney function, and his body had basically had enough. He ended up in detox for 6 weeks, and place on an intensive rehab course. I was a bit of an eyeopener for me, as I actually realised just how many functioning alcoholics I worked with. I pretty much knocked the drinking at work on the head at that point.

I stayed out of the bar by finding something else to do with my time, which is not easy, but I stuck with it. People often underestimate the culture of drinking, but it can easily drag you in, and it is often very hard to get out of.

A few years later I ended up at a funeral for one of the guys I used to work with. He died alone in his flat, and nobody found his body for over a week. He just couldn't stop drinking, and it ended up killing him.

Yes, I still drink, but nowhere near what I used to. I'll be lucky if its more than 8-10 units a week these days; sometimes less or not at all. Don't miss it one bit, but things could have turned out so much differently.
 
Reading this thread has made me realise I was once a 'functioning alcoholic'.

2004 was the worst year of my life. My dad passed away after suffering several strokes and dementia, that was hard to take but I felt relief and closure he no longer suffered.

A former best mate for over 10 years died from bad shit his dealer gave him, he was a heroin addict. Didn't know that as he was estranged about 14 years from meeting my ex wife. She told me to drop him or she'd drop me. I had to as I realised taking weed LSD an 'shrooms were a slippery slope to oblivion and my mate wanted to experiment with smack. He died in June that year and I didn't know. Felt gutted I couldn't pay my respects at his funeral and guilty I'd dropped him as a friend.

In November my ex walked out with daughters and that's when I hit the drink hard.

I've mentioned some of this previously, not so much about alcohol and it's affect on me. I don't really know where to start...

Driving south on M1 near Nottingham tears streaming down my eyes, pretending I had a cold to my workmate in the van. I hid it quite well, was quite a private person, felt too proud to feel ashamed yet naive I was a 'functioning alcoholic', albeit in a gibbering wreck inside. Lonely desolate hurting bad I was the shadow box my former happy go lucky self.

I worked away 95% of the time. Worked hard played harder, I was physically fit climbing up and down telecoms structures. but when I got home off a days hard graft, I saw my youngest daughter's picture as a baby staring at me as I opened the door. She wasn't there she was gone along with her younger sister her mum. Daddy was left home alone in a former loving home that now felt like being in an open prison. I felt like I didn't want to to dwell in my abode, a shell of it former happy family home.

I was a cunning drinker and could hold alcohol well and sober up next day, often from 25m up a tower. If I was talking to anyone like a manager or site supervisor I'd make sure I was downwind so my alcoholic breath didn't give me away. Strong mints helped and a few cup of builders tea and a stodgy breakfast, I was right to meet another day for better or worse, and after finishing work It got worse when I'd knock pint after pint back, sometimes top shelf.

I think I was an alcoholic about 2 years or so. It's kind of hard to accept and whenever I had a medical the doc sussed out I was drinking a lot but I lied on my alcohol intake of between 10-15pints most nights.

When I got home from an hasmrd days graft and turn the key to the door I'll see a picture of my first born as a baby staring at me. But she was gone alony with her younger sister and her mum. I felt my house an open prison I didn't want to dwell in.

Done a few things I feel deeply ashamed of. Driving my works van home on occasion smashed but somehow I never smashed it or had an accident. I drove home deliberately one night to drive onto M67 and try and kill myself by driving into bridge support stanchion but I chickened out seconds from almost certain death. Almost threw myself off a tower one but something stopped me, probably my spirit guide telling me what a cowardly selfish bastard I'd be to leave loved ones behind, especially my daughters I loved deeply with a heavy heart.

I felt hopeless and hated myself that I'd got so low. In 2006 I got arrested for going round my ex Mrs house for causing an affray. The red mist of pent up anger and frustration loomed over me like a dark cloud I couldn't shift.
I couldn't help myself and walked over a mile to hers enraged to try and and kill the bastard who manipulated her into having an affair. Luckily police turned up and took me to the station.
Probably stopped me from getting nailed as I wasn't in control of my emotions to say the least! I got off as ex didn't want to press charges, and I feel horrified on rare occasions when my eldest has brought it up I put the front window through. But the past is just that and we all have regrets...

I came home from work one day and went into the kitchen and had a table full of empty cans bottles and takeaway wrappers. I thought I need to sort my sad sorry life out and I did from that day.

Through self discipline I eventually became the master of alcohol, not the slave. Hindsight is such a wonderful thing but it's fuckin' useless at the time you need it most and I so wish I'd I've taken my doctor's advice and counselling, not for alcohol addiction, but depression leading to alcohol.

Anyone reading this please be mindful of where alcohol can lead to. I'm not asking for sympathy, it's just that I think anyone who is going through similar, please don't suffer alone. Help is out there and your doctor is your first port of call IMO. We all have a release valve that needs to let off steam. Several times I chose the wrong options of letting off steam.

Nowadays I drink to socialise and can take a drink as several of you know know. But I hate being blind drunk. Merry is always best and then bed, and I've mostly stuck to that but a good blow out now and again amongst friends is uplifting in one's spirit I think: )

I live on my own now and it's so easy to drink in present times watching doom n' gloom TV about Corona virus. The walls can easily close in and feel claustrophobic. I'm fortunate I'm keeping busy delivering takeaway food 6 nights a week at present. Keeps me focused and the wolf from the door. I'm also eating a lot more healthily and exercising. Much better than needing my demons exorcised, the little bastards are mostly contained now; )

Be the master of alcohol, not the slave blues. Easier said than done. But if you don't do nowt about it you'll forever be enslaved to alcohol, simple as that.

Time I put the kettle on for a nice cup of tea and listen to some tunes.

I like this song and I find listening to music is therapeutic.
 
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I don't want to get in to what "alcoholism" means out of respect to anybody battling this horrid disease. I have huge empathy.

As a side issue I've noticed a lot of "booze snobbery" in recent years. My interpretation of this is people making judgement on your innocent/mild drinking habits. I'm not sure if it's a geographic thing (with me moving from London back to Manchester) or a generational thing.

When I worked in central London there was a booze culture in most of the companies I worked for down there. People being able to grab a late tube home and not worry about driving was a big factor. That was it though, it was part of work life. If you went out on Thursday and enjoyed a few pints and arrived in work then it was fine and nobody would pass judgement in the office. End of the period/payday we'd go out Friday lunchtime for food and a couple of pints. Continue Friday night as well, let off some steam.

Since being back in Manchester for the past 5 years, the culture is completely different. I could be wrong as I've never worked in town, mainly in office parks etc. In my office, people hardly mention it, not sure if it's to protect their work image and avoid judgement. I imagine many are secret drinkers during the week which is cool, just observing a contrast in attitudes towards drink.
 
Runs in my family unfortunately so I am prone to a few. I used to do 1.5 bottles of plonk a night but now do around 2/3 of a bottle of red. I did stop once for 5 months and lost 2 stone so I know it’s not good for me as I tend to have a snack too which loads the calories up at the end of the night.
 
I don't want to get in to what "alcoholism" means out of respect to anybody battling this horrid disease. I have huge empathy.

As a side issue I've noticed a lot of "booze snobbery" in recent years. My interpretation of this is people making judgement on your innocent/mild drinking habits. I'm not sure if it's a geographic thing (with me moving from London back to Manchester) or a generational thing.

When I worked in central London there was a booze culture in most of the companies I worked for down there. People being able to grab a late tube home and not worry about driving was a big factor. That was it though, it was part of work life. If you went out on Thursday and enjoyed a few pints and arrived in work then it was fine and nobody would pass judgement in the office. End of the period/payday we'd go out Friday lunchtime for food and a couple of pints. Continue Friday night as well, let off some steam.

Since being back in Manchester for the past 5 years, the culture is completely different. I could be wrong as I've never worked in town, mainly in office parks etc. In my office, people hardly mention it, not sure if it's to protect their work image and avoid judgement. I imagine many are secret drinkers during the week which is cool, just observing a contrast in attitudes towards drink.

Mate of mine from my London days and who still lives there is still like this age 52. Always out after work etc. He occasionally comes up North as part of his work and takes his team out after work for a few beers. He says that you can guarantee that if 20 go out for a drink at 5, there are only 2/3 left by 6.30.
 
I've had a drink almost every day for the last ten years. Usually a couple of pints after work or school run but liked 'a good drink' at footy or a day out.
I suppose, and my Mrs keeps telling, that makes me an alchy as well.
I never drank at home until 5 weeks ago but now the pattern is the same, couple of bottles a day and a few more on Saturdays.
But, and it's a big but, my home drinking is relative to the weather. Sitting in the garden with a beer seems so natural, but put me indoors and I'm not arsed. Today is my fourth day without a drink.
So I have to ask myself again, am I an alchy?
 
Reading this thread has made me realise I was once a 'functioning alcoholic'.

2004 was the worst year of my life. My dad passed away after suffering several strokes and dementia, that was hard to take but I felt relief and closure he no longer suffered.

A former best mate for over 10 years died from bad shit his dealer gave him, he was a heroin addict. Didn't know that as he was estranged about 14 years from meeting my ex wife. She told me to drop him or she'd drop me. I had to as I realised taking weed LSD an 'shrooms were a slippery slope to oblivion and my mate wanted to experiment with smack. He died in June that year and I didn't know. Felt gutted I couldn't pay my respects at his funeral and guilty I'd dropped him as a friend.

In November my ex walked out with daughters and that's when I hit the drink hard.

I've mentioned some of this previously, not so much about alcohol and it's affect on me. I don't really know where to start...

Driving south on M1 near Nottingham tears streaming down my eyes, pretending I had a cold to my workmate in the van. I hid it quite well, was quite a private person, felt too proud to feel ashamed yet naive I was a 'functioning alcoholic', albeit in a gibbering wreck inside. Lonely desolate hurting bad I was the shadow box my former happy go lucky self.

I worked away 95% of the time. Worked hard played harder, I was physically fit climbing up and down telecoms structures. but when I got home off a days hard graft, I saw my youngest daughter's picture as a baby staring at me as I opened the door. She wasn't there she was gone along with her younger sister her mum. Daddy was left home alone in a former loving home that now felt like being in an open prison. I felt like I didn't want to to dwell in my abode, a shell of it former happy family home.

I was a cunning drinker and could hold alcohol well and sober up next day, often from 25m up a tower. If I was talking to anyone like a manager or site supervisor I'd make sure I was downwind so my alcoholic breath didn't give me away. Strong mints helped and a few cup of builders tea and a stodgy breakfast, I was right to meet another day for better or worse, and after finishing work It got worse when I'd knock pint after pint back, sometimes top shelf.

I think I was an alcoholic about 2 years or so. It's kind of hard to accept and whenever I had a medical the doc sussed out I was drinking a lot but I lied on my alcohol intake of between 10-15pints most nights.

When I got home from an hasmrd days graft and turn the key to the door I'll see a picture of my first born as a baby staring at me. But she was gone alony with her younger sister and her mum. I felt my house an open prison I didn't want to dwell in.

Done a few things I feel deeply ashamed of. Driving my works van home on occasion smashed but somehow I never smashed it or had an accident. I drove home deliberately one night to drive onto M67 and try and kill myself by driving into bridge support stanchion but I chickened out seconds from almost certain death. Almost threw myself off a tower one but something stopped me, probably my spirit guide telling me what a cowardly selfish bastard I'd be to leave loved ones behind, especially my daughters I loved deeply with a heavy heart.

I felt hopeless and hated myself that I'd got so low. In 2006 I got arrested for going round my ex Mrs house for causing an affray. The red mist of pent up anger and frustration loomed over me like a dark cloud I couldn't shift.
I couldn't help myself and walked over a mile to hers enraged to try and and kill the bastard who manipulated her into having an affair. Luckily police turned up and took me to the station.
Probably stopped me from getting nailed as I wasn't in control of my emotions to say the least! I got off as ex didn't want to press charges, and I feel horrified on rare occasions when my eldest has brought it up I put the front window through. But the past is just that and we all have regrets...

I came home from work one day and went into the kitchen and had a table full of empty cans bottles and takeaway wrappers. I thought I need to sort my sad sorry life out and I did from that day.

Through self discipline I eventually became the master of alcohol, not the slave. Hindsight is such a wonderful thing but it's fuckin' useless at the time you need it most and I so wish I'd I've taken my doctor's advice and counselling, not for alcohol addiction, but depression leading to alcohol.

Anyone reading this please be mindful of where alcohol can lead to. I'm not asking for sympathy, it's just that I think anyone who is going through similar, please don't suffer alone. Help is out there and your doctor is your first port of call IMO. We all have a release valve that needs to let off steam. Several times I chose the wrong options of letting off steam.

Nowadays I drink to socialise and can take a drink as several of you know know. But I hate being blind drunk. Merry is always best and then bed, and I've mostly stuck to that but a good blow out now and again amongst friends is uplifting in one's spirit I think: )

I live on my own now and it's so easy to drink in present times watching doom n' gloom TV about Corona virus. The walls can easily close in and feel claustrophobic. I'm fortunate I'm keeping busy delivering takeaway food 6 nights a week at present. Keeps me focused and the wolf from the door. I'm also eating a lot more healthily and exercising. Much better than needing my demons exorcised, the little bastards are mostly contained now; )

Be the master of alcohol, not the slave blues. Easier said than done. But if you don't do nowt about it you'll forever be enslaved to alcohol, simple as that.

Time I put the kettle on for a nice cup of tea and listen to some tunes.

I like this song and I find listening to music is therapeutic.


I just clicked 'like' at the bottom of this, but wished there was a 'thank you' button. (I know, I've been on Bluemoon 5 minutes and already want to make changes!). Seriously, that moved me so much, and it was so well written and expressed.

I have long-term depression (runs in the family, and I've been on anti-depressants most of my adult life), so I hear where you're coming from, and where you've been.

I hope things are better with your kids. We never had any, so I can only imagine the pain you were/are in. To have pulled back from the abyss the way you have speaks volumes about you.

I'm sure things aren't a bowl of cherries now. But when they're old enough, your kids will be blown away at how their dad chose life - which, at the time sounds like it was the hardest option on the table.

All my best, mate - and thanks again for having the generosity of spirit to share what you just did.
 
I've had a drink almost every day for the last ten years. Usually a couple of pints after work or school run but liked 'a good drink' at footy or a day out.
I suppose, and my Mrs keeps telling, that makes me an alchy as well.
I never drank at home until 5 weeks ago but now the pattern is the same, couple of bottles a day and a few more on Saturdays.
But, and it's a big but, my home drinking is relative to the weather. Sitting in the garden with a beer seems so natural, but put me indoors and I'm not arsed. Today is my fourth day without a drink.
So I have to ask myself again, am I an alchy?

I think the question you have to ask yourself — and you, and you alone, can answer it — is “Could I genuinely walk away from this if it were demonstrably destroying my life?”. If the answer is no, then you are an addict. If the answer is “Yes I could, and I see no good reason to, because it's neither affecting my physical health nor my relations with others in a way that's out of control”, then not. I understand that it's not a straight binary choice, but there's a sliding scale. Only you know where you are on that scale. That's my opinion, for what it's worth.
 
I just clicked 'like' at the bottom of this, but wished there was a 'thank you' button. (I know, I've been on Bluemoon 5 minutes and already want to make changes!). Seriously, that moved me so much, and it was so well written and expressed.

I have long-term depression (runs in the family, and I've been on anti-depressants most of my adult life), so I hear where you're coming from, and where you've been.

I hope things are better with your kids. We never had any, so I can only imagine the pain you were/are in. To have pulled back from the abyss the way you have speaks volumes about you.

I'm sure things aren't a bowl of cherries now. But when they're old enough, your kids will be blown away at how their dad chose life - which, at the time sounds like it was the hardest option on the table.

All my best, mate - and thanks again for having the generosity of spirit to share what you just did.
Thank you too pal. It was worth writing and much appreciated, thanks again. Not easy writing sometimes and I do write a lot of tongue in cheek flippant stuff in a jokey way. Others mooners know this. However, I am truthful on serious matters and address such matters, sometimes with bare bones brutal honesty. Being a dick as had me banned a few times and thankfully Ric and mods have let me on again.

If I can't be truthful to myself then I can't possibly tell bullshit to others, it's the way I am, and often see humour as a release valve. Sorry if I offend anyone, this place needs light hearted banter, more the merrier; )

Writing warts n' all gives others who hold their cards close to their chest a comfort(if that's right word) of knowing they not the only one suffering life's problems alone. Being brutality truthful for many is something a lot can't speak about for feeling ashamed and embarrassed to speak out and voice opinion on a public forum, especially a football forum full mostly of male members(dick's, sorry Ric; )... From my own experience I wouldn't be writing this now if I never found my release valve and peace of heart in burying my former demons.

There's some good stuff written on a couple of threads, particularly 'Let's talk' and another if you type on search on depression, not sure what thread title is. One thing is for sure there's some salt of the earth blues on here and I feel blessed that I've met some I now regard as good friends. Not met anyone on here nowadays I've fallen out with face to face TBH.

I too have been on anti depressants at several stages of my adult life but for me(although some I've found effective) I'd rather not take them and feel better by eating healthier, more fruit n' veg, drinking moderately, plus I like to use natural products. Manuka honey, blackseed oil echinacea tumeric ginger and garlic etc as a boost and barrier. Works for me and definitely helps balance ones equilibrium I think.

As for my kids, they're are doing as well as can be in these difficult times. They are young adults now and have both have boyfriends and busy busy working and studying. A bit sad I didn't get to see them last Wednesday on my birthday, but hey ho such is life. 'We'll meet again' as Vera Lynn one sang: )

I'm as proud as any man being a father, they mean more to me than life itself. I've spoken to a few ostentatious people over the years who brag about wealth and material possessions. I'm not impressed tbh and I don't aspire to be like them. I've told a few I'm a millionaire, often to bemusement. I tell them I'm a millionaire and intuitively know they think I'm bullshitting as they weigh up the cut of my cloth in a judge-mental way. I'm not bullshitting because when I'm good I'm a millionaire in my heart, but many don't get it! When my heart has been empty I've been soulless and potless financially, from desperation to elation, I know where I'd rather be.

Those dark days of rock bottom makes the good times feel 10 X = better nowadays, and there's a lot of people a lot worse of than I am feeling right now.

We're all born with nowt and we'll all die with nowt, mansions and Ferraris don't cosset anyone on their deathbed, it's what we build in love to our family and friends that is THE most important quality of life I feel.

It's good to talk @Bill. Thank you Bill and thanks to all blues and non blues who make this place a place to be when feeling a need to talk and open up and be honest.

I might have a can or two of beer later but no more. Less becomes more when you appreciate what you have, and health and happiness are two things I'm fortunate enough to be building on. Cheers blues.

CTID.
 
OP, Slightly lost here...you're saying saying you're a piss head, on a football forum, holding down a very responsible job. Are you glorifying it, proving a point or asking for forgiveness in an underlying manner. Serious, non judgemental question.
Hi mate that's a fair question.
None of them. Just felt like unloading.
I know I've got a serious problem. Others may have too, if it stimulates discussion it might help someone.
 

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