All about my very first girlfriend

[dingdingding]

I don't think attitudes to sex for twelve year olds are any more liberal now!

Surely you jest?

Kids these days know more about sex at aged 12 than I did at aged 18.

Attitudes towards that fact are extremely liberal

Are you saying it's ok for a 67 year old man to have sex with a 12 year old girl? Forgive me if I misunderstood you but that seems to be what you're implying.

 

[blue_chili_pepper]

30 seconds? you stud....did that include the ciggy ?

Ciggy and a chip butty

ah thats better...felt inadequate then!

muffin ya duffer

on a barm you.........ermm.....ermm barm

 

[spogga]

30 seconds? you stud....did that include the ciggy ?

Ciggy and a chip butty

Would that chip butty have been on a barm or a muffin?

Listen matey, I was breaking my duck.

Didn't have time for any niceties, it was a butty, OK?

 

[blue_chili_pepper]

She was called Lorraine and we were both aged 12, we loved each other to bits and promised we'd always be together.

This was in 1953 when attitudes towards sex were a lot less liberal than they are today so our activities were limited to holding hands and on the odd occasion we kissed.....on-the-lips :-) oh! great joy!

Anyway in 1956 or thereabouts I noticed her friend, Helen.

On first glance I thought Helen was deformed until my bestest friend EVER, Rod, told me that what I thought were large boils, were in fact called breasts.

Lorraine, God bless her, had nary the slightest sprouting of these breasts....quite naturally I was fascinated by Helen's 'deformity' and made it my business to investigate further.

All our, or rather my, promises of undying devotion to Lorraine were cast aside like a sodden glove and despite her entreaties I made a bee line for Helen and thus began my education into the world of groping.

I groped everywhere, bus shelters,shop doorways, back alleyways, you name it, I groped there.

Then came the day when Helen decided to 'do it' with me.

Fast forward to Wythenshawe park with the speed of a thousand gazelles on heat, I was about to become a man!

It was an utter fiasco, believe me. The Gods themselves must have been laughing their socks off to witness my inept fumblings but persever I did until eventually I was 'in'.

After roughly 5 seconds I was out again, spent and wondering what all the bloody fuss was about.

"If that's all it is" I thought, "I'll have a wank later"

So anyway, I got better until I could last up to 30 seconds on a good day. I got bored with Helen and decided to give Lorraine another chance.....she had breasts now y'see and they were a damn sight bigger than Helens.

Lorraine gave it some thought and decided to take me back----it lasted about 2 weeks before we both realised that the dreams of childhood are just that, dreams.

I sometimes wish I could meet those two girls again but at the ripe old age of 67 I doubt that possible and in any event I wouldn't recognise either of them if they trod on my head.

That's it

whats the punch line? oh sorry its not a joke......shittt

 

[par-5-blue]

Excellent little story, pmsl.
Btw, if you did bump into them again and decided to "get it on" would a 67 yr old still be able to erm, you know, manage it like!
Just wondering

 

[denislawsbackheel]

It could well be a case of, "wake me up when you've finished!"

 

[spogga]

I don't think attitudes to sex for twelve year olds are any more liberal now!

Surely you jest?

Kids these days know more about sex at aged 12 than I did at aged 18.

Attitudes towards that fact are extremely liberal

Are you saying it's ok for a 67 year old man to have sex with a 12 year old girl? Forgive me if I misunderstood you but that seems to be what you're implying.

It's fairly obvious your comprehension skills are less than perfect.
Of course I'm not implying that it's ok .

Jesus! some people.

 

[spogga]

Excellent little story, pmsl.
Btw, if you did bump into them again and decided to "get it on" would a 67 yr old still be able to erm, you know, manage it like!
Just wondering

FYI My friend, this 67 year old can still get it on as you so eloquently phrase it.

What's more I can last longer than 30 secs altho' afterwards I usually have to forgo the chip butty and just have a ciggy

 

[SambaBoys]

............. and people say Romance is dead!!!

 

[dingdingding]

I don't think attitudes to sex for twelve year olds are any more liberal now!

Surely you jest?

Kids these days know more about sex at aged 12 than I did at aged 18.

Attitudes towards that fact are extremely liberal

Are you saying it's ok for a 67 year old man to have sex with a 12 year old girl? Forgive me if I misunderstood you but that seems to be what you're implying.

It's fairly obvious your comprehension skills are less than perfect.
Of course I'm not implying that it's ok .

Jesus! some people.

.