Ozzy Osbourne and Roy Chubby Browns are hilarious, although I'm not sure how the former remembers much. One funny episode was when he had his accountant around his house and got him wasted. While he was asleep Ozzy burnt all his clothes and when he woke up the only thing Ozzy had for him to wear was a suit of armour so he went home in that.
Chubby Brown was playing in a rough club in Middlesbrough and took the piss out of some lad with his mates calling him an ugly bastard all night. As he was packing up the chairman of the club told him the lad and his mates were waiting outside for him and that the lad was from one of the toughest families in the area. Sure enough he went outside where the lad was bouncing up and down with rage and telling him to put his gear down as he was going to kick fuck out of him.
Chubby said, "Hey mate calm down. Why do you think I picked on you all night? Look at you. You're like a young Elvis. An Adonis. You must be a male model. I can't believe you've got the hump. I thought if I take the piss out of him I'm on safe ground as he knows I'm having a laugh as he's so good looking. If anything I've made myself look a **** as people wondered why I was calling you ugly."
In the end the lad calmed down and he got him onside, him and his mates even helped him pack his stuff into his van. The lad was beaming as Chubby bigged him up, telling him he must get all the fanny in the local disco and asked him if he could send any cast offs his way.
Eventually after his stuff was packed up and they'd all shook hands and Chubby was driving away he rolled his window down and shouted, "Hey mate! You a young Elvis? You've got a face like a baboon's arse you fucking ugly bastard, take your face for a shit!!" As they all chased his car down the road. Brilliant.
Chris Evan's two books were a great read as well in spite of me not being able to stand the little prick.
