best man speeches

I've been a best man and I got some ideas from hitched.co.uk. It has 100`s of speeches that people have put on.
 
Ive been a best man 3 times and each time i have wrote a poem

It doesnt have to be great, its not your day its the brides, so include a reference to her looking beautful and the groom being a bit of a dick and you have cracked it.

When reading the wedding cards find out which are important beforehand and whatever you do dont get pissed. Have a full english in the morning with the groom and try to remain the calm authoritative guy your mate thinks you must be.

Most of all enjoy it mate because when its over its pretty much free ale all night from the guys who have been a best man and know how nerve racking it can be.
 
Remember at a mate's reception, the best man said during his speech. "Can everybody raise a glass to the happy couple and congratulate them, as I hear they are expecting the pitta- patter of tiny feet". Once the inevitable murmuring had subsided, he stood there with a big grin on his face and said. "Apparently they're getting a puppy when they get back off honeymoon". The look on the bride's parents faces was a picture.
 
I was best man twice for the same guy. First time I did the standard speech which was fine. Second time was a bit tricky as half the guests had been at the first wedding.

I started with exactly the same speech (I still had it from the first wedding 10 years earlier) and after the first 5 lines stopped and said "I guess half of you know this already!" then walked out of the room with a dejected look on my face. I could hear the murmuring as I left.

I grabbed my guitar and went back in and explained that rather than taking the opportunity to take the mick again I'd rather let my best mate know how I feel about him and sang May you never by John Martyn. Result rapturous applause all round. Groom in tears, his mum in tears, his new wife in tears in fact almost everyone in tears and I got off with a really hot bridesmaid that night.

Job done.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOi_wxypeGc[/youtube]
 
Gelsons Dad said:
I was best man twice for the same guy. First time I did the standard speech which was fine. Second time was a bit tricky as half the guests had been at the first wedding.

I started with exactly the same speech (I still had it from the first wedding 10 years earlier) and after the first 5 lines stopped and said "I guess half of you know this already!" then walked out of the room with a dejected look on my face. I could hear the murmuring as I left.

I grabbed my guitar and went back in and explained that rather than taking the opportunity to take the mick again I'd rather let my best mate know how I feel about him and sang May you never by John Martyn. Result rapturous applause all round. Groom in tears, his mum in tears, his new wife in tears in fact almost everyone in tears and I got off with a really hot bridesmaid that night.

Job done.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOi_wxypeGc[/youtube]

When you got to that bit I thought you were going to tell us you simply chewed a callard and bowser creamline toffee.
 
Been best man twice. Like somebody already mentioned just speak from the heart. Compliment the bride and bridesmaids :) throw a few jokes or stories in about the groom. I actually told one about my mate who I'd caught having a quick knuckle shuffle when we were about 12.

The look on his face. When I told the story that is not when I caught him at it.
 
Some lines you might want to use;

I was just thinking, what an amazing coincidence – 100’s of us having dinner together and we all ordered the same thing.

We have both been through a lot together – in fact, we were just saying earlier how glad we are that none of them have turned up today.

During dinner, I whispered to GROOMS NAME if I could mentioned any of his ex-girlfriends in my speech, no answer, a minute later he passed me a note saying ‘NO YOU CAN’T’.

It’s a shame he can’t spell.

Always remember that it's vitally important to get on with your Mother in Law. I didn’t speak to mine for the first two years of my marriage. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her - I was just too polite to interrupt.

Good luck Blue.
 
irlamblue70 said:
Just found this little gem........

"Finally we all hope you have a wonderful time on your honeymoon in North Wales, or at least that’s where I think he said they were going; he just said he was going to Bangor for a week"

^^ This is a good line, I have a slight caveat;

Moving on, I’d like to wish them both an enjoyable honeymoon

By the way GROOM's NAME, do you know the meaning of ‘The Honeymoon?’ No well it’s the holiday a man takes before he starts work for a new boss!

I think they must be off to Wales for a short break coz GROOM's NAME told me he’s going to Bangor tonight

I had him down as more of a Rhyl man myself.
 
just chat about the lines of coke and hookers the groom did the week before on the stag do, always goes down well...

..also call the brides mother a **** at some point.
 

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