best way to annoy neighbour

[daveduke67]

Send off for everything that offers a 'no money now' service and put his name and address on the leaflets.

Throw bird food near his car - once the birds get used to it being there they'll fly around looking for food - shitting whilst they do it.

Put an advert in Loot or anywhere thats's free using his landline/mobile number. List a car or motorbike at £1 and explain the reason for sale is that the terms of your divorce say that she'll get half of the sale price. At this price your ex wife will get 50p and you'd rather give it away for a quid than her get the £2,000 she's expecting.

Get a rusty old banger from someone and park it on your lawn. Add more cars and bikes as you can.

 

[JOGAMIGMOG]

Polish your car twice a day and cut your lawn. That seems to work.

Very good indeed Mr Pineapple. Infact, excellent! :) Should have been end of thread.

 

[Why Always Ste]

Send off for everything that offers a 'no money now' service and put his name and address on the leaflets.

Throw bird food near his car - once the birds get used to it being there they'll fly around looking for food - shitting whilst they do it.

Put an advert in Loot or anywhere thats's free using his landline/mobile number. List a car or motorbike at £1 and explain the reason for sale is that the terms of your divorce say that she'll get half of the sale price. At this price your ex wife will get 50p and you'd rather give it away for a quid than her get the £2,000 she's expecting.

Get a rusty old banger from someone and park it on your lawn. Add more cars and bikes as you can.

Hahaha had me LMAO, especially the Bird food one...Picture all the white stains on his car :D

 

[OABAAB]

Buy some car polish off the internet, when it arrives empty out the polish and replace it with paint stripper, then repackage the car polish and address it to him but write free sample on the package. Look out for the postie and give him the package to deliver telling him it was delivered to your house by mistake. Next time you see him polishing his car you can laugh at the horror on his face as he sees his paintwork peel off. Simples!!!

 

[Cal]

You still haven't gone into detail about what sort of neighbour he is, apart from he likes oolishing his cars and doesn't like kids on his prize lawn..fair enough.

Saying that, a potato in his exhaust pipe is a good 'un. He'll have to rev the car loads until it fires out, and potentially smashes though his garage/your house, depending which way his parked car faces. Just make sure you're in when he goes to his car, and try to contain your laughter.

 

[chappy190]

Buy 3 moles wait till midnight introduce moles to said lawn .Wait for results.

 

[Colliahhh]

Put a couple of tacky bumper stickers on his cars, they are fuckers to get off!

Go with something like:

And my personal favorite:

 

[Crouchinho]

Without going into details i need some ideas on how to get back anonymously at a neighbour.....anything that wont lead to jail considered. He has ocd and polishes the cars 2 times a week and loves his front lawn.....thought these would be a good starting point......help.

In autumn throw some dog grass seed on his lawn by next year it'll be full of horrible grassy weeds. The weed can come from anywhere

This is about the best one so far

If that fails kill him,there is a thread knocking about on how to get rid of the body

There is no real way of getting caught too that's the beauty. Because it grows at different rates to normal grass it'll be so annoying to a lawn freak. Your have to buy a non selective herbicide to kill it but that kills the good grass too. Even blowing dandelion feathers on his lawn would work if they land properly.

If he wants to be a right **** he could superglue is frontdoor keylock too. But more risk of being caught and looks suspicous

 

[Lmarkham-blueblood]

Buy a live crab and put it in his glove compartment

 

[DannyBoy2890]

Slash his fucking tyres!