Hey blue, sorry you've got it rough right now. I remember we were posting in the dementia thread a while back, you have my deepest sympathy.
But more than that, how about something real, you have my support. Mine and I imagine dozens of others on here. If you want to chat, blow off steam, rage at the world or none of that, we're here. I hope you see theses messages of support, no need to reply if you don't feel up to it, but just know plenty care.
Trust me, life isn't all bad. I know it seems it now, but you're probably feeling rock bottom. None of it is your fault, and there is still plenty to smile for, it just gets hidden under dark clouds. Do your mum proud, live for her, and when you can remember her and smile, even just a little, even through the tears, you know you're getting there.