Wasn't sure about posting this, but thought I'd share it anyway, mainly just to get it out of my head. The short and top of it is that my dear old mum has an appointment at Wythenshawe for an ultrasound scan after the weekend to examine some suspicious problems with passing blood in her urine, among some other physical symptoms. I found out she'd been having this problem for a while, more than a year, possibly two, and had visited the GP and seen several different doctors about it. She's had several tests simply to detect if there was blood in her urine, and they were positive. Each time she's been prescribed antibiotics for what was presumed to be a UTI. I'm not sure how much is my mum being economical with the truth for my benefit, but she's said that her symptoms usually clear up while taking the medication. The fatigue goes etc. But they keep recurring. And every time she's been to the GP, they've just done a simple test to detect blood in the urine, and given her more antibiotics. There's been no further examination. Only until recently, a sample was examined in a lab and it came back that there was no infection - apparently ruling out a UTI. She visited the GP about an unrelated issue the other day, and was presented with this information by chance, no letter received about the results prior to this, nothing. The doctor she saw that day had looked at her notes and apparently his ears pricked up about this particular issue. Her gave her a quick once over, and told her she'd be referred for further examination, and today she received an unexpected phone call, presenting her with an appointment just after the weekend. The immediacy has freaked her out a bit, and myself also. The implication is that this could be very serious. There might not be much to it however, of course. But knowing all this, I've spent the entire evening reading about her symptoms online, there are a few things it could be, but not all of them ring true on the basis of what I know to be her symptoms. The single thing that ticks almost every box, and everything seems to be pointing towards, is bladder cancer. She has all but one symptom on a checklist IIRC, even one as specific as lower back pain on one side. All I've been able to think about all day is that I could lose my mum. I've been reading the pathology of bladder cancer, how it develops, how it's treated, what your chances are of a full recovery. The best case scenarios of a positive diagnosis and the worst. I think I'm just preparing myself for the worst, but hoping for the best. But I keep getting this nagging feeling that if it is cancer, then there's a very real chance it could've been overlooked for a while, and thus an advanced cancer. And it's really knocking my head sideways. My mum isn't the complaining type, and I'm really beginning to fear she's been badly let down here. The thought is really knocking me sick, it's really angering me in fact. Just sitting here with a drink, hoping next week isn't as bad as I'm fearing it could be. Last thing I want is to burden my mum with my worrying and upset, but I'm really struggling here. Really is times like this you're knocked by the head with just how much your loved ones mean to you, and how much you take them for granted. I hope I've just been premature, and this can be a learning experience. Apologies for this anyway, just wanted to get it all out of my head. I know there are probably blues on here who've lost loved ones to cancer, so I apologise if this comes across as self indulgent crap. I hope you forgive me.