Cats in my garden

[andyhinch]

Cats and squirrels? You don't know how lucky you have it. I'd love me some cats and squirrels. In my backyard I've got a groundhog under the shed, a skunk that passes through everynight and wakes me up with it's rancid stench and a shitload of bastard raccoons that when they're not picking the locks on the wheelie bins and chucking all the shit all over the place, they are trying to get in the roof, and ripping the fucking lawn up looking for grubs. I'm moving to Newfoundland where the only pests are baby harp seals, and we all know what happens to them little pricks. Daddy needs a new pair of mitts.

My daughter just had a go at me for eating a hedgehog, long storey

 

[Barcon]

Cats and squirrels? You don't know how lucky you have it. I'd love me some cats and squirrels. In my backyard I've got a groundhog under the shed, a skunk that passes through everynight and wakes me up with it's rancid stench and a shitload of bastard raccoons that when they're not picking the locks on the wheelie bins and chucking all the shit all over the place, they are trying to get in the roof, and ripping the fucking lawn up looking for grubs. I'm moving to Newfoundland where the only pests are baby harp seals, and we all know what happens to them little pricks. Daddy needs a new pair of mitts.

My daughter just had a go at me for eating a hedgehog, long storey

Pfft, try a fucking porcupine.

 

[Rascal]

Boyblue and FTG have let me down here.

I was expecting much much more than a shit thread actually talking about cats

 

[johnny on the spot]

Cats and squirrels? You don't know how lucky you have it. I'd love me some cats and squirrels. In my backyard I've got a groundhog under the shed, a skunk that passes through everynight and wakes me up with it's rancid stench and a shitload of bastard raccoons that when they're not picking the locks on the wheelie bins and chucking all the shit all over the place, they are trying to get in the roof, and ripping the fucking lawn up looking for grubs. I'm moving to Newfoundland where the only pests are baby harp seals, and we all know what happens to them little pricks. Daddy needs a new pair of mitts.

My daughter just had a go at me for eating a hedgehog, long storey

What the actual fuck?

 

[Barcon]

Oh, oh. It's gonna kick off now.

 

[whyalwaysLee]

All of the worlds most fooked up serial killers started out by hurting animals first. Mostly the gay or ones like Jeffrey Dahmer. Or found it difficult to bond with the rest of the world, due to bad teeth or a tiny penis.

 

[Anonymous]

Those two fuckin' cats of mine are too cocky by half ......

Mind you i did quite like the Pussycat Dolls !

 

[FuZzY]

Cats and squirrels? You don't know how lucky you have it. I'd love me some cats and squirrels. In my backyard I've got a groundhog under the shed, a skunk that passes through everynight and wakes me up with it's rancid stench and a shitload of bastard raccoons that when they're not picking the locks on the wheelie bins and chucking all the shit all over the place, they are trying to get in the roof, and ripping the fucking lawn up looking for grubs. I'm moving to Newfoundland where the only pests are baby harp seals, and we all know what happens to them little pricks. Daddy needs a new pair of mitts.

My daughter just had a go at me for eating a hedgehog, long storey

 

[BeadyEye]

Over the last few weeks I've started to notice a few cars walking about in my back garden. They shit & piss all over the place & have now started coming up the decking & into the kitchen. It's got to the point now that I have to keep the patio doors closed to stop the little feckers coming into my house.
I've now come to the conclusion that I need to get rid of them. Nine of the neighbours know who they belong to & they're having similar problems.
Where do I stand if I get an air pistol & shoot the little shits? Is it illegal?

Orange peel for beady always works.
Also the mother in law give me a curry plant and that seems to work very well.

 

[Drewmanc]

No ones going to kill a cat on here.

I could club one to death with my iPhone

If anyone kills a cat from this forum I swear I'll eat a dog.

BB2.0 I'll bring the condiments, fucking things taste rank without sauces.