Cheapskates

[stony]

My mate has worked hard to be comfortable in life, never was tight when he was single but his wife turned him into, let's say very careful with money.

I'd say "your turn at the bar mate".

"I'm going after this pint, told the missus I'll be back later".

Now his missus has tits like fried eggs but her bra's seem to get bigger each year, the tight arsed money laundering woman.

I nicknamed my mate ' yercantekitwiya. Japanese for tight ****.

I have a cousin who is the very definition of a tight arsed ****. He's a few years older than me and got me my first job as an apprentice upholsterer when I was 16. He was taking home over £300 a week in 1982 and when we went to the caf every morning for a full english he didn't have enough pocket money from his wife to come with us. He used to stay in eating his butties on Friday lunch when we all went out for a pint too.
In 2011 I had a £20 bet with him that City would finish above the rags that season. We all know what happened after that, but it was a couple of years before I finally caught up with him. It was at his mums 80th birthday, my aunty Nellie, a fantastic lady who I visited more regularly than he did, despite living 60 miles away to his 2.
I mentioned the £20 he owed me and he called me a bitter blue and stormed off.
Truth be told, I'm glad he didn't cough up. It's £20 ffs, it's neither here nor there. But it is a lifetime of giving him shit at every wedding and funeral until one of us dies.

 

[yeseye]

Tight **** i worked with years ago ate rhubarb butties everyday which he grew in his garden!

 

[roj]

My mate Nick. Had a chat with one of his staff and took the piss n said bet he didn't pay for the Christmas do. He did! Paid for every taco.

Edit: he's absolutely not Jewish or from Cheshire

 

[maccadon]

My mate wakes up in the night to make sure he hasn't lost any sleep

 

[Magicpole]

A friend of my mums got with a new fella after her divorce, she had 2 kids, he would feel if the back of the TV was warm when he came in to see if they had had it on and when we all went to Blackpool one day he wouldn't pay for them to play 10 pin bowling as he said there was no point as they just went down the gutter so they had to watch while me and my sister played

She's not still with him

How could a grown man treat kids like that. Utter ****.

 

[Magicpole]

I have a cousin who is the very definition of a tight arsed ****. He's a few years older than me and got me my first job as an apprentice upholsterer when I was 16. He was taking home over £300 a week in 1982 and when we went to the caf every morning for a full english he didn't have enough pocket money from his wife to come with us. He used to stay in eating his butties on Friday lunch when we all went out for a pint too.
In 2011 I had a £20 bet with him that City would finish above the rags that season. We all know what happened after that, but it was a couple of years before I finally caught up with him. It was at his mums 80th birthday, my aunty Nellie, a fantastic lady who I visited more regularly than he did, despite living 60 miles away to his 2.
I mentioned the £20 he owed me and he called me a bitter blue and stormed off.
Truth be told, I'm glad he didn't cough up. It's £20 ffs, it's neither here nor there. But it is a lifetime of giving him shit at every wedding and funeral until one of us dies.

I do like your style. :)

 

[law74]

My mate Freddie, when we go for a meal I catch him tallying the cost of the meals as we order. He then jots into his phone.

Come bill time, he has his money sort, rounded to the nearest £. If we go in rounds, he orders everyone what he is drinking so he doesnt end up paying for luxury drinks, worst of it is he drinks Carlsberg or Carling rather than premium lagers like Stella or Peroni etc. Went for a week away to Devon at an Haven camp for the kids holidays. He would eat the left overs of all the kids food rather than leave it to waste, he would even finish drinks.

I fell out with Freddie in June because he found God and turned into a weirdo, wont go for a pint or eat with others unless they say grace etc. Fuck Freddie.

Had a mate that if a few of us were out for a feed would always order a starter and most expensive main course, then onto the bar & he would get the first round in (all pints), next round & he would be looking a double vodka & red bull or double brandy, very expensive tastes (when spending other peoples money)

 

[lazza]

Three of us used to go out for beers and a curry once a week, and we almost always drank 5 pints. One of the three was a right tight arsed git (from Yorkshire) and I cannot remember him ever buying two rounds on one of these nights out in the 5 or 6 years we went out. And he always grumbled about splitting the bill for the curry. And on the odd occasion when there were more of us out, he was always last to buy a round, so quite often didn't buy one or at most, only bought one.

Having said that, he got promoted at work a couple of years ago, and quite a few of went out for beers to help him celebrate. He bought the first round, and every single one of us there asked for the draught Belgian beer at £5 a pint!!

 

[Indaparkside]

Tight **** i worked with years ago ate rhubarb butties everyday which he grew in his garden!

think your the tight get you could of bought him custard to go with it

 

[peoffrey]

If you're out with a group then you do pay that little bit more over the night. It's just what you do. Unless they were buying as a celebration then I'd never dream of taking a pint off someone without buying them one back later.