Childhood Bullies

[pauldominic]

If you can find them... Perhaps you could hire...

The 'A' Team

Agreed mate.

I fell in love with her when she saw that.

 

[mackenzie]

I was never bullied, even though I was never part of the clique at school.
I thought them a bunch of prize gits and they knew it.
This has spilled over into adult life too. I rarely have any time for people who do my head in and I can come to an accurate judgement in minutes of meeting.

 

[peoffrey]

I was never bullied, even though I was never part of the clique at school.
I thought them a bunch of prize gits and they knew it.
This has spilled over into adult life too. I rarely have any time for people who do my head in and I can come to an accurate judgement in minutes of meeting.

First impressions are often lasting ones but that's a human trait I don't particularly like. Most people hold back a little when they meet someone for the first time and it's difficult to gauge any kind of fair opinion on their personality or attitude when you haven't walked a mile in their shoes. I thought an old friend of mine was a highly strung, arrogant, bad tempered, argumentative twat when I met him for the first time - but he'd literally just walked away from a bad situation and wasn't being himself. He's possibly the most gentle and kind hearted person I know.

Mancunians are especially good at being a little suspicious and hostile to people they meet for the first time. I very rarely don't get grilled about being a Seasoncard holder, local lad etc. whenever I meet a new Blue.

 

[bowdonblue]

Confront him in a strong but not aggresive manner. Tell him how he made your life a nightmare (most bullies never realise they where bullies). See how he responds and take it from there.
If your brother wants to dismiss the issue thats a bit selfish but its probably best coming from you.

I agree with this, but it will be harder than it sounds. Ideally you want a situation where you can just tell one or both of them straight how you felt, and what an effect it had on you.

I think they will be shocked and upset, if you are just honest and not confrontational.<br /><br />-- Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:25 am --<br /><br />When is the stag weekend? I am genuinely interested to know how it goes.

 

[LittleStan]

I am not going to say anything further to my brother, simply because I don't want to put him in a difficult position and as I said I did mention it to him and he shook it off as being no big deal.

I will attend it is a 2 day due to Amsterdam. I am just going to avoid them as much as I can, if things escalate I will just take them as they come, I can't say I am looking forward to it though.

Glad you have decided not to say anything more to your brother.

Just a possible way to look at this.

Go along, nothing bad happens, you have a great time. You have risen above it. You win.

Go along, they try something physical, people step in and stop them.They look like twats and you win

Go along, they start verbal crap, you mention that most adults leave that at school, they look stupid and you win.

So the only way you lose is by not going along. As you have already decided to go,you win and will have a great time.

Don't take drugs!

 

[heffer]

Confront him in a strong but not aggresive manner. Tell him how he made your life a nightmare (most bullies never realise they where bullies). See how he responds and take it from there.
If your brother wants to dismiss the issue thats a bit selfish but its probably best coming from you.

I agree with this, but it will be harder than it sounds. Ideally you want a situation where you can just tell one or both of them straight how you felt, and what an effect it had on you.

I think they will be shocked and upset, if you are just honest and not confrontational.

-- Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:25 am --

When is the stag weekend? I am genuinely interested to know how it goes.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Do not, under any circumstances, tell them how much they bothered you, they will not be 'shocked' or 'upset'. They'll likely snigger to themselves and conclude you're still the 'pussy' you were all those years ago.

If you take that approach you'll be giving them the satisfaction of knowing they got to you. Bullies are cretins, they lack empathy and if you come across all heartfelt and needing an apology in order to move on you're likely to completely embarrass yourself.

Instead, just play it cool. Drink as you would on any other night out, and let it be made clear their presence bothers you not a fucking jot. If you speak with them and they don't offer an apology or come across as reconciling or regretful then let them know how little you think of them, let them know that you're doing well, you don't give a fuck about them and you consider them pitiful wankers who aren't worth your time.

You can do this with your body language, verbally, or both.

Crucially though, do not show them that they bother you at present. They are unimportant and you couldn't give a flying fuck about them.

Bullies prey on weakness, they don't care how they affect others, it's not in their make-up.

That's of course assuming they were genuine bullies and you weren't/aren't being overly sensitive?

People trying to relate by coming up with solitary anecdotes of being punched on one lone occasion for themselves being a dick, are slightly missing the point.

Unless you've been belittled, mocked, harrassed, punched, kicked and spat on over a period of months or years you have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Particularly the personal demons and self doubt which you carry with you long after the bullying has ceased.

From personal experience OP, I'd do as I said above. But if you get even the slightest hint of them patronising you, ridiculing you or any of the familiar mannerisms, knock them out cold where they stand.

Or thrust your pint glass into their jaw (disclaimer - or maybe not), whatever works for you.

Until you've confronted them and shown them they mean nothing to you, that you're happy in your own skin, then you'll carry those demons with you.

You don't have to resort to violence as you can prove more without it with your presence and how you carry yourself. But if you feel it necessary, feel free unleash that resentment on their ugly mugs.

But you must not come across as still being a victim, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

But anyway, good luck mate, and above all - enjoy the dam!

 

[glen quagmire]

Confront him in a strong but not aggresive manner. Tell him how he made your life a nightmare (most bullies never realise they where bullies). See how he responds and take it from there.
If your brother wants to dismiss the issue thats a bit selfish but its probably best coming from you.

I agree with this, but it will be harder than it sounds. Ideally you want a situation where you can just tell one or both of them straight how you felt, and what an effect it had on you.

I think they will be shocked and upset, if you are just honest and not confrontational.

-- Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:25 am --

When is the stag weekend? I am genuinely interested to know how it goes.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Do not, under any circumstances, tell them how much they bothered you, they will not be 'shocked' or 'upset'. They'll likely snigger to themselves and conclude you're still the 'pussy' you were all those years ago.

If you take that approach you'll be giving them the satisfaction of knowing they got to you. Bullies are cretins, they lack empathy and if you come across all heartfelt and needing an apology in order to move on you're likely to completely embarrass yourself.

Instead, just play it cool. Drink as you would on any other night out, and let it be made clear their presence bothers you not a fucking jot. If you speak with them and they don't offer an apology or come across as reconciling or regretful then let them know how little you think of them, let them know that you're doing well, you don't give a fuck about them and you consider them pitiful wankers who aren't worth your time.

You can do this with your body language, verbally, or both.

Crucially though, do not show them that they bother you at present. They are unimportant and you couldn't give a flying fuck about them.

Bullies prey on weakness, they don't care how they affect others, it's not in their make-up.

That's of course assuming they were genuine bullies and you weren't/aren't being overly sensitive?

People trying to relate by coming up with solitary anecdotes of being punched on one lone occasion for themselves being a dick, are slightly missing the point.

Unless you've been belittled, mocked, harrassed, punched, kicked and spat on over a period of months or years you have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Particularly the personal demons and self doubt which you carry with you long after the bullying has ceased.

From personal experience OP, I'd do as I said above. But if you get even the slightest hint of them patronising you, ridiculing you or any of the familiar mannerisms, knock them out cold where they stand.

Or thrust your pint glass into their jaw (disclaimer - or maybe not), whatever works for you.

Until you've confronted them and shown them they mean nothing to you, that you're happy in your own skin, then you'll carry those demons with you.

You don't have to resort to violence as you can prove more without it with your presence and how you carry yourself. But if you feel it necessary, feel free unleash that resentment on their ugly mugs.

But you must not come across as still being a victim, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

But anyway, good luck mate, and above all - enjoy the dam!

Brilliant. You don't post enough. I will look out for your posts in the future.

 

[Balti]

I agree with this, but it will be harder than it sounds. Ideally you want a situation where you can just tell one or both of them straight how you felt, and what an effect it had on you.

I think they will be shocked and upset, if you are just honest and not confrontational.

-- Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:25 am --

When is the stag weekend? I am genuinely interested to know how it goes.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Do not, under any circumstances, tell them how much they bothered you, they will not be 'shocked' or 'upset'. They'll likely snigger to themselves and conclude you're still the 'pussy' you were all those years ago.

If you take that approach you'll be giving them the satisfaction of knowing they got to you. Bullies are cretins, they lack empathy and if you come across all heartfelt and needing an apology in order to move on you're likely to completely embarrass yourself.

Instead, just play it cool. Drink as you would on any other night out, and let it be made clear their presence bothers you not a fucking jot. If you speak with them and they don't offer an apology or come across as reconciling or regretful then let them know how little you think of them, let them know that you're doing well, you don't give a fuck about them and you consider them pitiful wankers who aren't worth your time.

You can do this with your body language, verbally, or both.

Crucially though, do not show them that they bother you at present. They are unimportant and you couldn't give a flying fuck about them.

Bullies prey on weakness, they don't care how they affect others, it's not in their make-up.

That's of course assuming they were genuine bullies and you weren't/aren't being overly sensitive?

People trying to relate by coming up with solitary anecdotes of being punched on one lone occasion for themselves being a dick, are slightly missing the point.

Unless you've been belittled, mocked, harrassed, punched, kicked and spat on over a period of months or years you have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Particularly the personal demons and self doubt which you carry with you long after the bullying has ceased.

From personal experience OP, I'd do as I said above. But if you get even the slightest hint of them patronising you, ridiculing you or any of the familiar mannerisms, knock them out cold where they stand.

Or thrust your pint glass into their jaw (disclaimer - or maybe not), whatever works for you.

Until you've confronted them and shown them they mean nothing to you, that you're happy in your own skin, then you'll carry those demons with you.

You don't have to resort to violence as you can prove more without it with your presence and how you carry yourself. But if you feel it necessary, feel free unleash that resentment on their ugly mugs.

But you must not come across as still being a victim, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

But anyway, good luck mate, and above all - enjoy the dam!

Brilliant. You don't post enough. I will look out for your posts in the future.

Yep, post of the thread

fucking heartfelt too

 

[gordondaviesmoustache]

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Do not, under any circumstances, tell them how much they bothered you, they will not be 'shocked' or 'upset'. They'll likely snigger to themselves and conclude you're still the 'pussy' you were all those years ago.

If you take that approach you'll be giving them the satisfaction of knowing they got to you. Bullies are cretins, they lack empathy and if you come across all heartfelt and needing an apology in order to move on you're likely to completely embarrass yourself.

Instead, just play it cool. Drink as you would on any other night out, and let it be made clear their presence bothers you not a fucking jot. If you speak with them and they don't offer an apology or come across as reconciling or regretful then let them know how little you think of them, let them know that you're doing well, you don't give a fuck about them and you consider them pitiful wankers who aren't worth your time.

You can do this with your body language, verbally, or both.

Crucially though, do not show them that they bother you at present. They are unimportant and you couldn't give a flying fuck about them.

Bullies prey on weakness, they don't care how they affect others, it's not in their make-up.

That's of course assuming they were genuine bullies and you weren't/aren't being overly sensitive?

People trying to relate by coming up with solitary anecdotes of being punched on one lone occasion for themselves being a dick, are slightly missing the point.

Unless you've been belittled, mocked, harrassed, punched, kicked and spat on over a period of months or years you have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Particularly the personal demons and self doubt which you carry with you long after the bullying has ceased.

From personal experience OP, I'd do as I said above. But if you get even the slightest hint of them patronising you, ridiculing you or any of the familiar mannerisms, knock them out cold where they stand.

Or thrust your pint glass into their jaw (disclaimer - or maybe not), whatever works for you.

Until you've confronted them and shown them they mean nothing to you, that you're happy in your own skin, then you'll carry those demons with you.

You don't have to resort to violence as you can prove more without it with your presence and how you carry yourself. But if you feel it necessary, feel free unleash that resentment on their ugly mugs.

But you must not come across as still being a victim, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

But anyway, good luck mate, and above all - enjoy the dam!

Brilliant. You don't post enough. I will look out for your posts in the future.

Yep, post of the thread

fucking heartfelt too

I'm not entirely sure inciting someone to commit an offence which carries a maximum prison sentence of life (if committed in the UK) is the "post of the thread", heartfelt or not.

 

[Balti]

Brilliant. You don't post enough. I will look out for your posts in the future.

Yep, post of the thread

fucking heartfelt too

I'm not entirely sure inciting someone to commit an offence which carries a maximum prison sentence of life (if committed in the UK) is the "post of the thread", heartfelt or not.

clearly that's a matter of opinion......

as the man says 'you don't have to resort to violence'
I