Close relatives you no longer speak to?

My grandfather was a reasonably well off and a charmingly pleasant enough guy if you had no dealings with him, but he was such a shit grandfather that at his funeral not one of his 19 grandchildren/great grandchildren could be arsed turning up
 
blue b4 the moon said:
Can't choose your family but can choose your friends.

Friends are a much better option in the long run.
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I completely disagree. I know people from very good families and there's that lifelong bond where anyone will do anything for anyone else. I'm not sure one close friend of mine would come anywhere near that. Unless he's an asexual eunuch, your friend will soon disappear once he's been hit by cupid's arrow.
 
peoffrey said:
I completely disagree. I know people from very good families and there's that lifelong bond where anyone will do anything for anyone else. I'm not sure one close friend of mine would come anywhere near that. Unless he's an asexual eunuch, your friend will soon disappear once he's been hit by cupid's arrow.
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Mate I have close friends from 30+ years ago, we may fall in/out of touch on occasions but we're all closer than most of our families (once you get past the wife/children).

The point I was really making though was that a family member will always be in the family ignored or not whatever level of wanker or arsehole they are, with friends initially you have a choice to get close or not, if they turn to shit and are beyond help then it's possible to draw a line and move on.
 
blue b4 the moon said:
The point I was really making though was that a family member will always be in the family ignored or not whatever level of wanker or arsehole they are, with friends initially you have a choice to get close or not, if they turn to shit and are beyond help then it's possible to draw a line and move on.
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I've ruled out any further contact with one entire side and it's not been a problem in almost 20 years. I was slightly too young to understand what was actually going on at first (threat of legal action against my mum); but once things came out of the woodwork then I was speechless. This includes my dad's brothers and sisters.

There's been once serious romantic relationship in my life and she was my lover, best friend and drinking buddy rolled in to one. It was too good for words.
 
My auntie, she popped her clogs yesterday. A remarkable innings of 86. Even in her later years she smoked 20 a day and had half a bottle of wine a day. She spent the last fifteen years of her life being pushed around in a wheelchair whilst putting the world to rights in an unruly plume of smoke. She was a real character
 
i`ve been lucky i have a lovely family and get on great with my mother and father in law, sister in law and 3 brother in laws and their children and partners.

my mother who is now 85 and none weight bearing left when i was 3 to persue other interests with a friends husband, 8-)

i see her and still speak but she is just a woman i know but have no feeling for. she can be a gobby bitch but i look at her and tell her to keep her gob shut regarding my family. if she carried on i would walk away and never see her again and she knows it.

i think i`ve been more than fair.
 
blue b4 the moon said:
Mate I have close friends from 30+ years ago, we may fall in/out of touch on occasions but we're all closer than most of our families (once you get past the wife/children).

The point I was really making though was that a family member will always be in the family ignored or not whatever level of wanker or arsehole they are, with friends initially you have a choice to get close or not, if they turn to shit and are beyond help then it's possible to draw a line and move on.
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I have a friendship group of about 10 people including the guys and their respective wife's and gfs, who have for the main part all known each other since we were aged between 12 - 16. Some of the relationships go back to when we were 4 and 5 in infant school. I can honestly say that i am closer to them than anyone else in my family. Many of them are the same - not all of them, some have very close families and i get along with most of them too. We are all mid 30's now and the couples are all dropping sprogs left right and centre, but if anything that is just making our group stronger. We are lucky, people from outside our group have often commented on how lucky we are to all know each other and have such a close bond.

My family i see at Easter, Christmas and for various birthdays and frankly most times that is painful: My Mum and Dad don't get on and my Mum doesn't like my brother. My friends i see once a month or more and no matter which of them turn up or who cant make it, we all know each other well enough just to get on and enjoy the time we have together. There have been few crossed words in the 20 odd years we have all been knocking about together and various ups and downs, but not very many anymore and they are all swiftly sorted by people being honest and accepting each others faults. We all get drunk and normal business quickly resumes.

Friends >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Families
 
Luckily I've never felt the need to not speak to a family member but then we don't see each other all the time or live in each others pockets.
Some families are too fcuking close and that causes arguments.
 
Not spoken to my Dad in about 8 years. He was a horrible cuunt anyway and I'll never forgive him for what he did, nor would he want to be forgiven.
 
Just started talking to my mum after 15 years, still not been to see her though yet. My other sister Michelle lives in Brum, we get on fine, just drifted apart.
I have my family on FB but keep most at arms length as i simply can't be arsed with the hassle. If it did i would be the loudest most imposing voice not my mother and they would not like it.
Everyone tip toes around issues where as i will call a spade a fucking twat and get to the issue. I hate unhealthy atmospheres and would prefer a good old storm to clear the air.

99% of issues are to do with my eldest sister who is 50 now and should know better.
She still is a pathetic idiot where men are concerned, she drops everything for a bloke and fucks everyone elses shit up in the process. She will move to him uprooting my niece etc, sack hher job off when she really can't afford to whilst knowing next to nothing about the bloke etc etc...

I was supposed to meet her after not seeing her for 10 years last year and she stood me up for a night with an old flame. Then wondered why i was a bit miffed haha :-D
Now if i told my mum that ww3 would start in Hazel Grove, so you can see why i keep them at arms length. Luckily i am a fiercely independent person who enjoys my own company and that of my dogs so feel no sadness or indeed anything much regarding close family.

My father however is a fine man and someone i can look up to in many ways, just not for fashion tips or social graces hehe. I speak to him on a daily basis and we get on great, a scarily educated and smart man who is unfortunately a damn rag hehe :-D
 
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Shit just got real.

Staying in the family house here in Sao Paulo. Living with the brother in law and his wife.

His wife has just said to my wife

'Normally, Bolivians only stay here a few weeks before getting a bedsit..."

Pause of 2 marching paces

My wife

"Get the fuck out of my families house, pack your bags and fuck off"

Me - close laptop fucks off to bedroom. LOL Lot's of shouting and strange Portuguese words.
 
Well said Mrs Smudge, the cheeky so and so. If you record the sound you could sell it to Hollywood as a sound sfx for films with apocalyptic events in it :-D

Stay safe bro, stay hidden.
 
smudgedj said:
Shit just got real.

Staying in the family house here in Sao Paulo. Living with the brother in law and his wife.

His wife has just said to my wife

'Normally, Bolivians only stay here a few weeks before getting a bedsit..."

Pause of 2 marching paces

My wife

"Get the fuck out of my families house, pack your bags and fuck off"

Me - close laptop fucks off to bedroom. LOL Lot's of shouting and strange Portuguese words.
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Haha! Well done Mrs smudge that's Mrs sister in law put in her place.
 
I found after my grandma died my family just spilt apart.
Not arsed like because some can be critical and vindictive and others can be snobby and up their own arses and my mum is one of them, even my dad tends to criticise people for stupid little things and my sister can be really spiteful and has even used her children against my mum and dad just to win an argument (as in told my mum dad that they couldn't see their grandchildren)

In a long run the only people I can have a full blown convo with is my dad, my brother and my older sister but my family is far from perfect and the only time I see most of them is at funerals which is fitting to associate my family with death!
 
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