Anyone else dreading Christmas? Just got an awful lot worse now the rules have changed for me personally. Family disputes are inevitable. I don't want to put my parents at risk, so i'll likely stay outside if i see them and just accept it's gonna be a bit naff. My brother is a conspiracy theorist who thinks the whole thing is a load of bollocks, annoyingly, and has been in their house plenty of times. I'm so tired of it all that I just can't be arsed arguing about it anymore. My mum has promised he always sits at a distance etc, and I believe her on that, but that's almost pointless given he's in the house so what fuck all use is the distance bit. I know he'll be expecting a normal-ish christmas. As will my sister given she's got kids. Especially given the rule changes and the allowed bubbling...and now it's gonna me as the big bad guy being awkward and being the only one not going indoors as we do every christmas day.
It'll inevitably cause huge fucking arguments and I just can't be arsed. And then a part of me thinks 'maybe I could see them and it'd be okay', and another part goes 'yeah, good luck with living with that insane feeling of guilt if one of them catches it and something terrible happens'...and then another part goes 'imagine you didn't hug them and celebrate christmas and something happened in January to them'. Plus my missus won't be seeing her mum as she's high at risk. So it'd be selfish of me. Just a shite rock and a hard place. I know people will be in worse situations, but I seriously cba. Just wish they'd not changed anything so I at least had 'rules are rules' to fall back on.
Sorry, just venting as I'm exhausted and this whole thing is driving me mad. Constant worrying and that shite foreboding feeling of a huge argument on the horizon with absolutely zero chance of it resolving. Unreasonable, childish family, sadly! Wish christmas would just fuck off this year, and I usually love it.