Dads with split families.

I’m the step dad to a nine year old who has only just been allowed access to his waste of a time father, was a serious incident when he was minding him 2 years ago which resulted in him not having any contact until we took HIM to court to ensure certain visiting rights were put in place as he just wasn’t arsed.

He now just sees him for 6 hours on a Saturday and has put not a single ounce of effort in to get longer visits, sleep overs etc. guess he loves getting pissed at weekend more than his lad.
Pisses me off no end as the lad still idolises him for some reason and so your situation is heartbreaking mate, you want more time with her and can’t have it, whereas scripted like this….

All you can do is be there for her at every opportunity mate, she obviously knows how much you care. All the best to you both.
 
When I turned 13/14 I started to pull back from staying with my dad at weekends because I was a typical self absorbed teen and it meant I was missing out on doing things with friends. Now I look back and as an adult I hate myself when I think how that must have made my dad feel. But it just never would have occurred to me at the time. We have always had a great relationship and I cherish the time I spend with him now.

Things may go up and down over the years to come, but carry on being the best parent you can be and that is all you and she need
 
My dad was useless. We’d be lucky to see him twice a year. We were 99% raised by mum. Dad died when I was 13 but I wasn’t far off letting him go for good by then. I just knew.
 
In my experience, it’s always a bit sad, particularly with girls, when you suddenly realise your little baby is growing up and their friends are suddenly more important to them than you.

Then they go through that phase where they ‘hate’ you. And pretty much everybody and everything else.

But if you’ve brought them up right and with a big dollop of luck, those phases soon pass and they grow into strong, independent, beautiful young women.

And you can have a completely different but equally rewarding relationship with them.
 
MCFC Wirral said:
My dad was useless. We’d be lucky to see him twice a year. We were 99% raised by mum. Dad died when I was 13 but I wasn’t far off letting him go for good by then. I just knew.
Click to expand...

Feel for you blue.

Not all absent Dads are shit though. Me and ex split when my boys where 6 and 3 and she made life hell. No contact allowed, a disastrous and toxic split and divorce followed and to this day, my relationship with my boys broken badly with the eldest in Ireland and the youngest now on America.

I made mistakes for sure but no contact wasn't for the lack of trying and I have solicitors bills to prove it.

I'm remarried with a wonderful wife and 13 year old twins and I have a wonderful life but I miss my boys and I wish things could be different but it's not for millions of reasons that sadly I couldn't fix.

I will take it to the grave I know.
 
Just based on what you’ve said I can tell you’re a good dad. Keep being there for her, never let that change and you’ll grow up having a fantastic relationship. I’ve got a 7 year old daughter and a 13 year old son and they make life very very happy.
 
@blueinsa I’m not too bothered about it as I never really knew him that well. Personal highlights include him not taking the week off work when he had us, cancelling a Christmas visit resulting in us getting nothing that year and taking no interest in our developing lives (no seeing school reports or work etc.)

I’ve a number of male friends who had no father figure in their lives. It just seems to happen.
 
I split from my ex wife around 10 years ago , my youngest was 4 and eldest 8.

I had them every other weekend and I’m not ashamed to say I cried most weekends on the drive back from dropping them off home. I noticed once they both started high school they were less inclined to come stay. They’d rather be out with their mates than out with dad, my eldest has now just turned 18 and the last two years iv spent more time with him , comes to watch the footy , phones me randomly for a chat about city , he’s a really good lad and we have an ace relationship.
 
Two girls 17 and 19 , split with my ex-wife 10 years ago , so similar age to your daughter . I know I have a better relationship by seeing them 2-3 nights a week over the last 10 years , than I would have had as a full time dad in a house with their mum . The time that you have is purely on your terms , which your daughter will cherish as you are doing fun stuff . There will be times she may play you and mum off against each other , but is all part of growing up . One of mine is off to Uni in Sept and the other in the middle of A levels but they are both coming across for there usual 2 weeks summer hols time with me . Some of it as I’m a dads taxi for there every need !! . Financially it’s been really hard but as they move on to the next chapter away from full time education that will be ease . Maintain a functional relationship with her mum as the next few years you will need her , as your daughter becomes a young woman and your shopping basket carries items that at first panic you !!! .
Concentrate on the good times when she is with you , phone or txt when she isn’t . If you have genuine concerns she doesn’t want to be with mum ask her why without slagging mum off . Best of luck blue . You’re a good dad and it will all work out fine
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top
✖
  AdBlock Detected
Bluemoon relies on advertising to pay our hosting fees. Please support the site by disabling your ad blocking software to help keep the forum sustainable. Thanks.