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Dogs!!!
- Thread starter allblackcitizen
- Start date
Magicpole
Well-Known Member
When I was staying at home in my mums way back, I came in from a days drinking and my mum, bless her, made me a big fry up to “soak up the alcohol. Great.
The heaped plate was presented and I put it on the floor, to do something, I can’t remember what as I was pissed. A while later I woke from a sleep and looked down at the floor to an empty plate. I actually thought I had eaten it, until, I looked again at the plate and it looked like it just came out of the dishwasher.
I looked over at our huge mutt and his expression told me the greedy **** had scoffed the lot.
If he had left some residue at all, he would have got away with it. Everybody, apart from me, obviously, thought it was fucking hysterical.
Fucker had the audacity to crawl onto my bed later without so much as a hint of guilt.
He was a great dog and I loved him dearly, but leave anything remotely edible, never mind a perfectly cooked fry up, and it was history.
****. :)
The heaped plate was presented and I put it on the floor, to do something, I can’t remember what as I was pissed. A while later I woke from a sleep and looked down at the floor to an empty plate. I actually thought I had eaten it, until, I looked again at the plate and it looked like it just came out of the dishwasher.
I looked over at our huge mutt and his expression told me the greedy **** had scoffed the lot.
If he had left some residue at all, he would have got away with it. Everybody, apart from me, obviously, thought it was fucking hysterical.
Fucker had the audacity to crawl onto my bed later without so much as a hint of guilt.
He was a great dog and I loved him dearly, but leave anything remotely edible, never mind a perfectly cooked fry up, and it was history.
****. :)
Last edited:
allblackcitizen
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 18 Aug 2008
- Messages
- 1,867
I call bollox.
No dog slurps down red hot soup ... and in 30 seconds flat.
I'd had 3 spoonfuls. It wasn't piping hot, 'cos I'd been waiting for the baguette to burn. There was a fair bit spattered all over the table and quite a lot round his nose and dripping from his chin and whiskers. There was some left in the bowl, but knowing where he routinely sticks his nose and tongue I sure wasn't going to finish it off.
Next time I'll go into more Proustian detail. Ye of little faith.
allblackcitizen
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 18 Aug 2008
- Messages
- 1,867
I'll give it 5 minutes before it comes back up again.
I'm currently piecing a boxed skirting board around new radiator pipes and, as usual, the fucking mutt has to help. He's nicked and chewed up 3 different pieces of exactly cut wood so far and is barking at my sander as i type. Little bastard.
Been out for a couple of hours, fully expecting to come back to a pile of puke or worse. But no. It's all still inside him, unless he puked it up and ate it again. Which I wouldn't put past him.
And I found a tenner while i was out, so maybe my lucky day after all.
Daz_Blue
Well-Known Member
Mine took me for thousands just before we got divorced ....
Dave Ewing's Back 'eader
Well-Known Member
Honestly my back was turned for all of 30 seconds, as I went to the front door to investigate something thumping on the door mat (Yellow pages 2019), and in that time the dog had slurped down my Covent Garden chicken soup, leaving me with 2 pieces of slightly stale and slightly burnt baguette for lunch. Bastard!
One of the two things that are wrong with dogs - there's the hole at the head end and another at the tail end. It could have shat on yer baguette! Be grateful!
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
Chester, our recent addition, a Black Lab pup of 5 months has just devoured an orchid, 2 corners of 2 coffee tables and the Golden Retrievers bollocks. He's on thin ice as we speak.
remember arthur mann
Well-Known Member
It's what you should kick it in...……….I call bollox.
No dog slurps down red hot soup ... and in 30 seconds flat.
Barcon
Well-Known Member
I call bollox.
No dog slurps down red hot soup ... and in 30 seconds flat.
I once saw a dog inhale a plate of chicken wings that were hotter than the sun in less time. They didn't even touch the sides.
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
My Rat that Barks has just eaten a cheque for £350 I was expecting.
As long as the cheque's been signed, it's still legal tender tomorrow. Or whenever it next appears.