I'm going to be hard pushed to actually take an interest in what England do, and it's all down to that owl-faced fucker Woy. The media frenzy will begin with our first game. Tyldesley and the rest will be like over-excited kids suffering with ADD when discussing Shrek and Rashford, then they'll adapt the usual 'couldn't-give-a-fuck' air of nonchalance when other players are mentioned. Then we'll have exclusive pre-recorded interviews with Shrek and Rashford, then back to the studio where 'guests' will talk about how wonderful Shrek and Rashford are. If England are losing it'll be because of the City contingent ("Hart was woeful. Definitely at fault for their goal" etc), but if we're winning -regardless of who is actually on the pitch- it'll be because of Shrek and/or Rashford. Full time, back to the studio to discuss how Shrek and Rashford were -without any shadow of a doubt- the finest players ever to wear an England shirt. Woy will be interviewed and he'll mutter something incoherent about how "Wooney bwings invaluable expewience...Washford's brilliant and sublime passing skills..." etc etc, and then back to the studio where the invited few will sit and pontificate on how Shrek and Rashford between them were England's saviours - despite the world, his wife and his mistress all being able to see that actually, the pair of 'em were fucking excrement.